The skin between Damien’s brows creased in confusion.
“Go on Kira, I’m listening. Just tell me once and for all what exactly is going on and be clear with me,” he insisted, wanting her to tell him so he knew what he had done wrong.
He was very sick and tired of the whole back-and-forth that they've been having all this while and the fact that she wasn't even saying anything to him and instead, just keep flaring up at him at every opportunity that she got was something that was wearing him out both physically and emotionally and he needed to hear from her what exactly he had done wrong.
Kira scoffed. She couldn’t believe he was asking her to keep talking when he could sense that her voice was literally shaking and the fact that he sounded so nonchalant, almost as though he was just waiting to listen to whatever she had to say, made her even angrier than she already felt. It was almost as if he had no remorse whatsoever and he was only trying to listen to her just because he wanted to hear from her.
“You have got to be one of the most selfish bastards that I have ever met Damien. You and I almost had sex that night in my room and you didn’t care about my feelings or what I'd think and you went to see her just like that. You went to see your other lover the very next day after being with me and you didn't even for once think that that would even bother me. Do you have any fucking idea how I felt that day?” Kira yelled back at him furiously as a lone tear rolled down her cheek and she immediately wiped it off, sniffing a little.
“I actually started to wonder if you knew anything about women at all and what I realized was that you know nothing Damien. You know absolutely nothing about a woman's feelings. You know what the worst part is, it's that you came back and acted like everything was fine Damien. You came back and thought everything was okay when nothing was ever okay!"
"For fucks sake, how could you even think that things were fine? Nothing was fine and it's still not fine even right at this moment! You come back after avoiding me for an entire day only to be all friendly and sweet and you expect me to let you in and pretend like my feelings weren't hurt? Do you know just how much torture I'm actually going through knowing very well that my mate is never actually going to be mine because his heart belongs to some other woman? Do you have any idea what it feels like?” she blurted out in a raised voice, venting out how she felt before turning around so she was backing him.
Even though he probably knew she was crying, she still didn’t want him to see her crying so profusely.
“I know…,” she sniffled a little, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
“I know very well that you will never want to be with me but then, for what happened last night…,” she trailed off, letting out a short sarcastic laugh.
“Last night, I decided to just let what happened between us happen. I spent the night with you knowing well that your heart belonged to Sheila and knowing that at the end of the night, I'll be the one hurting,” she muttered as she clicked her tongue.
“I’m not telling you all of this just so you feel bad for me or anything. In fact, I meant what I said to you in my room this morning. I mentioned that I had forgotten about it and even though it's not entirely the truth, I intend to forget about it soon enough. So you have nothing to worry about if that’s what you are afraid of,” she said to him.
She turned to look at him after wiping the tears in her eyes. “It’s fine Damien. It’s fine. I hold no grudge against you or anything but in order for me to get rid of the feelings I have for you, I have to avoid you for quite a while but worry not cause I won’t be forsaking my duty to the people that we need to protect,” she assured him.
She attempted to walk away but Damien held her by her wrist just as she was about to walk past him. “You have said your piece so now, I'd appreciate it if you listened to what I have to say,” he told her in a firm tone to show how serious he was.
Kira felt chills run down her spine from Damien's serious tone.
Damien had decided that speaking to her calmly was definitely not going to do any of them any good since she was currently very emotional, so he wore a more serious look on his face and spoke in a more serious tone so that she took him seriously and listened to what he had to say.
Her lips parted slightly as she stared at him with a glint of both curiosity and fear. He had a much more serious expression on his face now compared to before and that only made her more interested to know what he had to say although she didn’t want to hear it at the same time.
Damien pulled Kira closer so that she would be standing in front of him and he would be looking at her eyes while he spoke to her.
“You don’t get to be the only one to say how you feel and just walk away like that Kira. You don't have the right to just assume things on your own and make decisions by yourself just because you think you're doing the right thing and you think that it is what the other person would want. Before I say anything else to you, the first thing I want to do at the moment is apologize to you Kira," he said to her, wearing a much calmer look on his face.
Kira was a little taken aback by Damian sudden apology and the reason she was surprised was not because she thought of it as not genuine or anything like that, she was only surprised because she did not think that it was going to instantly apologize to her and she had already created a thought in her head that he didn't in the least bit feel sorry towards her.
“I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings and for ignoring how you'd feel because of my actions. I admit that I didn't really think this through and I didn't realise how much my actions were going to bother you and for that I'm really sorry Kira. That day, I didn’t ignore you because I regretted what happened between us. I know this is probably going to sound like an excuse and it might not make any sense to you but I actually ignored you that day because I was so fucking confused and unaware of my thoughts and emotions,"
"The truth is Kira, I was lost that night. What I felt for you the when I first kissed you, scared the hell out of me and that was because I have never felt that way before and I thought at first that it was just my wolf, Damon, acting out because of our bond and that it was not actually me and so to find out if that was the case, I went back to my pack,”
“I didn’t go meet Sheila because I wanted to forget what happened between us and just go back to her like nothing happened, I went to meet her because I wanted to know what it was I felt for you and what it was I felt for her and you have absolutely no idea how confused I was when I got to confirm how I felt about you," Damien explained, trying hard to speak clearly so he doesn't get misunderstood again.
He swallowed a lump in his throat. “What I'm saying is that I kissed Sheila…," he trailed off, suddenly finding it hard to confess his feelings but Kira was hurt to find out that he kissed Sheila.
Hurt and disappointment was evident in her eyes and so she looked away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing her look broken.
“I kissed Sheila that day and I felt nothing Kira. I felt absolutely nothing for her,” he admitted and Kira was most definitely not expecting to hear him say that.
“The feelings that I thought I had for her whenever we were together just weren't there anymore and everything with her just felt very bland and unexciting. I just wanted to confirm our exactly I was feeling with both of you and I got to realise that my feelings for you were much more stronger and that compared to how I felt for her, you made me much more happier and much more alive,"
“What I'm saying in essence is, I realized for sure that day that I had started to develop really strong feelings for you and it's not just that I started to fall for you, it's that I've already fallen for you and I could neither deny nor escape my feelings anymore,” Damien confessed, pouring out his true feelings nervously.
Kira could not really believe everything that she was hearing because it still felt as though she was hearing things and that she was probably dreaming at the moment. She pinched herself a few times to confirm that she wasn't seeing things or dreaming about things and when she realised that she wasn't, it hit her even more and was even more surprising to her.
“Everything that happened between us last night made me realize that I cannot keep fighting it anymore and I really like you so fucking much Kira. You literally drive me crazy with just the bare minimum and I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings and making you feel like you weren't worth because you really are and I'm such a fool for not seeing it until now. I'm really...," Damien trailed off when he saw tears streaming down Kira’s face.
“Oh please don’t cry babe, don't cry,” he pleaded as he wiped the tears off with his thumb.
Kira sniffled a little. She still did not believe him completely. She didn't know why she was finding it so hard to believe him but she just couldn't. Everything didn’t seem real to her and she just couldn't bring herself to believe his words.
“I just can't believe you," she muttered to herself but he had heard her clearly.
A worried expression formed on Damien’s face.
“I don't believe you Damien, I just don't. I feel like maybe you're saying all of this just because you don't want to hurt my feelings but you really don’t need to do that,” she said to him and the skin between his brows creased.
He could not believe that she would even think so low of herselves to the point where she could not even believe something that was so obvious.
“I know that you may think that I'm lying or that I'm not being honest but you need to look into my eyes clearer because I'm not lying to you. I genuinely like you and I want things between us to work," he said to her reassuringly but Kira just couldn't bring herself to believe that Damien, who had previously sworn that he would never leave Sheila to be with her was currently telling her that he had feelings for her.
It all just felt very unbelievable and untrue to her and she couldn't shake off how she felt so easily.
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
"I just don't know about this," she muttered to him in a shaky voice.