Thor's POV
I went to bed feral. When I woke up feeling better than the way I was the previous night, I thought the storm was over. Eric was sure I would be back to my normal self if I took a rest, now I'm back... Or so I thought until I wanted to take my bath and saw from the bathroom mirror that, although I felt great about myself, my eyes still looked dark like I'm a demon.
But I'm optimistic. I have confidence in Eric and the rest of the team. I trust them and I'm leaving everything in their hands. As I showered, I couldn't help but wonder about that thing that my brain couldn't grasp anymore. That thing that was so important it pushed me over the edge. Since my brain is a bit calmer now, I wanted to think about it. Maybe this time I would be able to figure out the difficult puzzle.
On second thought, I asked myself, what if thinking about this really made things worse for me? What if I go wild and out of control again? What if I thirst for blood and go on a killing spree? I stood in the bathroom and considered my options. It's a lot of 'what ifs' that I couldn't allow to happen.
I am now the Alpha of the largest pack in North America. I have a duty to protect not just my team members but my pack members from any form of danger that might either come from the outside world or me. I have to do whatever it takes to hold myself together. I have to do whatever it takes to protect them from me, a possible danger to them.
I know what I need to do. Even though I knew the consequences, right there in the bathroom, I sat on the toilet with the top down and started taking deep breaths in and letting them out slowly to relax my mind. When I was relaxed enough, I pushed the corrupt, inaccessible thought to the farthest part of my mind after which I began erecting a barrier between my conscious and subconscious mind, totally blocking off that part of me so I wouldn't be able to access it.
That Indeed needs to be done regardless of how important the memory I couldn't remember was to me. My brain might be calmer now but it still seemed fragile. Allowing my thoughts to roam freely is too big a risk for me to take, especially when it felt to me as if my sanity was just hanging on a thread that could easily snap if just a tiny strain was applied to it.
I just hope my decision won't come back to bite me in the ass. I pray I won't live to regret this day for the rest of my life because it's easy for a shifter to decide; 'I don't want to remember, sit on his toilet seat, take a couple of breaths in and out, and then, wham! Barrier erected!
But it's very difficult to pull the barrier down. A shifter's mind is not as fragile as a human's mind where a person can just get a psychologist to help him remember a repressed memory. Before I can recall the memory I locked away, I might need to be hypnotized and the procedure couldn't be carried out by a psychologist as it's done for humans. It can only be done by a first-generation witch. Ancient beings that are almost impossible to come by.
After I had my shower, I got dressed, grabbed a sunglass to cover my feral eyes from the rest of the world, and stepped out of my room.
'Why is everywhere so silent?... Where have they all gone?' I wondered as I looked down to the floor below over the stair banister.
As I stepped down the stairs I wondered how busy they could all be that no one was guarding the mansion. I only want my team around me. I don't know how long it will take before I will be able to trust any member of this pack. They hated me before I left for Denmark and I know they still retained that hateful energy towards me from how they cheered for Justine even as my human form beat his wolf form unconscious
Their behavior in the arena made me laugh. It was so obvious that they'd been brainwashed. Justine was a simpleton. A puppet that would answer to every of House Denton's controls.
'That is the kind of person they preferred to be their Alpha?' I thought to myself in wonder.
They should be grateful that the duel was declared a fight until the first blood was drawn and not to death. I would have done them the favor of killing the coward whether they like it or not.
When I arrived on the ground floor, I stood still for a moment to sniff the air around me. listening to my surroundings so I would be able to know if they were anywhere within the mansion's vicinity. I subconsciously smiled when I picked Eric's voice and essence first which was coming from the back wing of the mansion. Except for Timothy whom Eric just added to the team so he can run errands for Ella, I could tell the rest of them were currently with Eric
I opened the door and nodded in approval when I saw Timothy wasn't slothful. He was standing straight and alert like a warrior even though he isn't one. Eric always made the right decision, that is why I have never questioned whatever decision he'd made in the past and I will never.
"General!" He said immediately he noticed me and bowed so low he was almost doubling over.
"As you were," I said without stopping and continued toward the back of the mansion.
The closer to the back wing I got, the louder Eric's voice became. I wondered what was so interesting that they all had to gather there.
"They're not alone" I realized and said to myself while wondering who were the shifters with them.
I turned left and saw Bear and Ella standing by the door. They literally ran to meet me halfway like excited kids when they saw me approaching. I could see they were worried for me even though they tried to hide the expressions on their faces
"General..."
"Alpha..."
They said simultaneously while bowing with respect. Instead of replying to their greetings, I gave a curt nod and hurried past them when I heard Eric say...
"It's three against three Elders. So bring it on, I guess we're about to find out if you three are truly worthy to be called Council Elders."
Henrik and Ivar's growl also rumbled out in excitement.
"A fight is about to happen," I said to Bear and Ella before pushing the door open.