Eric looked surprised by my question. I should tell him the truth that the question I asked is as a result of the inaccessible memories I locked away but is it? Surely, my mate couldn't be part of that memory?
I consider the name carefully and repeats it to myself several times... 'Ash. Ash... Ash should be shortened for Ashley, right?' I wonder about the surprise expression on Eric's face especially when the truly doesn't ring any bells with me.
I was with my mate yesterday night. And since I can still recall what she looks like, doesn't that mean she's not part of the memory I locked?... Why I can't remember her name then?
I look back at Eric with confusion
"Is that her name?" I ask
"Her?" He replies, looking confused himself. He knows who I'm speaking of course so why is he looking at me as if he's the one with no memory and not me.
"My mate... Is Ash my mate's name?" I ask somewhat impatiently this time.
"I don't understand, why are you asking me? She's your mate, isn't she? You both were together all through the night so why are you asking me something as simple as her your mate's name?"
'Ughh... That was a straight forward question, couldn't he just tell me what I want to know! Even if the question sounded strange coming from me, couldn't he just humor me because of my feral state! Why reply my question with so many questions when he knows how much I hate it when people ask my question with another question. Or is he trying to piss me off!?'
Looking at him, he doesn't look like he's trying to piss me off though. In fact, he looks more serious than I ever thought he would be
"You know how I hate people who answer questions with another question Eric! Are you going to answer my question or not!" I snaps at him.
He replies calmly with the same serious expression levels at me
"No, I'm not going to answer your question and you already know why. C'mon Thor, I thought we talked about this before that; if you can't remember, then I can't tell you. It's for your own good. You know how we're avoiding any thoughts or talks that would cause you further nervous breakdown and push you to act wild?"
I nodded to him in understanding. He's refusing to tell me because my mate is one of the reasons I'm going feral, if not the only reason. I'm convinced of that fact since he made it clear earlier at the begining of this conversation that the name Ash belongs to my mate. The reason I asked what might seemed to him like a stupid question is to further clarify because I'm finding it difficult to link the name with my mate. Now I got my clarification.
We looked at each other for a while and I couldn't help but laugh because of the way he's looking at me.
"You know Eric, you need to stop looking at me that way. I assure you that I'm not going to get any crazier than I already am. So stop worrying and thinking that I might start tearing people from limb to limb whenever you turn your back to me, okay"
His countenance soften and he also laugh
"You assure me?..." He sounds surprised as he ask.
"Yes. I assure you. Isn't my behaviour with the elders that provoked me convincing enough?" I ask smugly. Feeling proud of myself.
"Yes, that– speaking of which, let's add the way you joked and poked fun at me earlier. I don't understand– I mean, I'm familiar with the way feral werewolves behave. I've seen many feral werewolves in my life, that include you... They're hardly able to act sane in the face of provocation. They're not humorous or have the ability to appreciate jokes so what's up with you today?... Tell me, man, did you find some kind of solution already?"
I can see from his countenance that he's hopeful for some kind of miracle. He think I have good news. Even though I considered what I did the best in my situation, I know for sure that he will not be happy with the news I'm about to give him.
"Hmm, did I find a solution already?... That would depend on which direction you're looking at it from..."
"What did you do, Thor?" He interrupts in a matter-of-factly manner. His smile has disappeared. His eyes narrows at me as if he already knew what I was about to say. I've forgotten he knew me more than anyone else.
"Look man, I know you might not like what I'm about to say but I hope you'll understand that I have no other choice than..."
"Oh, god!..." He exclaims, sinking deeper in his seat. "It's that bad?..."
"Bad?– I haven't even..."
"You're giving me a speech, Thor, when we both know you hate boring talks like this. Look I already know this is going to be bad so just give it to me straight. Stop beating about the bush."
I sigh. He's right, I'm looking for ways to soften the impact of my words on him but since he wants it straight... I just hope he won't be so disappointed
"You were wondering why I couldn't remember that name 'Ash'?" I ask but he doesn't respond. He just keeps looking at me. He knows I'm still dilly-dallying
"Well, I've blocked off all the inaccessible memories that I couldn't remember out of my mind. I guessed..."
"What!?... But why!? Why the hell did you do that when we both know how important that part of you is to you and...
"Why? Do I need to remind you that it's making me go feral..."
"But that isn't what's making you go feral, what the hell is the matter with you!? Why couldn't you be patient!? Why take such major decision without consulting with me!?" He says forcefully.
My body immediately become flushed with anger, bringing my wolf to the surface.
"Consult with you because I'm an idiot that can't take major decisions on my own?" I growl at him in anger. My hands curls into a fist on my lap as I try to hold back my rage.
He also looks angry and stands up from where he was sitting then and starts walking towards the door. I thought he was walking out on me but he stops when he gets to the door and turns back.
In my condition, usually, this sort of aggressive behavior would make me go berserk. Eric knew that too, I guess that was what made him returned to his seat. He takes a deep breath in and let it out slowly to calm himself as I'm doing the same.
"Calm down..." He breaks the silence in a cautious voice as I continue to glare at him.
"I'm sorry for the outburst. I should be helping with your temper not make it worse. Just... Calm down, please. Don't go haywire on me, alright?" He pleads and I nod in reply. Now more focused on getting my emotions under control.
"Let me explain something to you so you'll at least have an idea of what's going on. You won't be completely in the dark..." He start to talk after I've considerably calm down.
I nod again in appreciation. I know the reason why he chose not to discuss it with me before and I'm glad for his decision to at least tell me something right now
"I would really appreciate that," I say and he suddenly burst out laughing to my surprise.
"What? What's funny?..." I asked in confusion. "Did I say something funny?"
"I would really appreciate that..." He did his best to mimic my voice.
"Thor you're a rude motherfucker, now you're going all polite on me? Really?" He ask with disbelief
"Well, if I was rude then shouldn't you be glad you're getting a new version of me, asshole?" I growl at him, doing my best to harden my face at the idiot but I burst into laughter instead since I couldn't bring up the expression.
"Goddess, I thought I'd seen it all in my life. A feral Thor laughing!... What a sight to behold..." He says when our laughter died down.
"Really?..." I ask. Thinking he meant what he said as a compliment since he look so look serious.
"Oh yes. Have you ever seen a hyena grinning?..." He replies.
'Hyena!' I seethed as the smile on my face instantly vanished