Chapter 45 Being Honest
ALEXEI.
Sunday has never been my favorite day, mainly because of how boring it can be. But most of all: you spend six days anticipating it, planning a well-deserved rest or maybe consuming the time with some recreation or hobby and when it finally comes, you realize that it has been the shortest fucking hours of your life.
But this... This has certainly been one of the longest days I've had in years. Just two hours ago it was noon and I feel like the night is light-years away. My head seems to have formed its rock concert and the band members have inhaled long lines of cocaine and ingested liters of energy drinks so that they don't need to rest any time soon.
Fuck, I just want the night to come as fast as possible. I'm suffocating, agitated and moody. And the combination of those three things in my body never ends well for me or those around me. Don't get me wrong, my purpose in life was never to be a first-class pain in the ass, but I guess it's hard to break the habit.
I've been locked up in my office since I finished the very unprofitable talk with Franchesco, trying to concentrate on solving the administrative operations of the organization, this whole embarkation business has kept me so distracted that I've been late with some of the calculations. Although now I have a different kind of distraction and his name starts with an X and ends with an R. Yeah, no matter how I look at it, I'm fucked: literally and figuratively.
Sometimes my mind gap is so clouded with the images of his delicate little body underneath mine, those beautiful eyes, his thick soft lips, the perfect white skin, that I don't even realize the exact moment when my fingers stop moving on the keyboard and I find myself looking at a bunch of numbers on the screen as if they were suddenly going to jump up and eat my eyes out.
I take a couple of pills for my throbbing headache out of my desk drawer, swallow them dry and get ready to concentrate this time on my work. So please, Xander King, stay away from my brain... For now, at least.
I spend a long time dealing with the balances, the amount of my assets, the payment of employees, the cost of maintenance of equipment... In short, the general accounting of the business. Now it's my neck that's starting to bother me for staying so long upright in the same position. Hell, I look like a 70-year-old woman complaining about everything.
I lean back on the seat and take a deep breath. I close my eyes for a few moments, hoping that all the tension will leave my body. At least the pills have done their job, the headache has subsided from a tsunami to a moderate tide. Well, that is, until my beloved cousin bursts into the office.
-Hello, butterfly! - smiling and with that shrill, irritating tone that he knows gets on my nerves. But then again, discretion is not his strong suit -. What are you doing? - Dropping his great humanity on the chair in front of me, crossing the legs while smoking a cigar. Jesus Christ, help me stay in control.
-What is it, Yaakov? - I don't even try to hide the tiredness in my voice, he was going to notice it anyway because of the miserable look I must have.
-Hey, you look awful. Are you okay? - I sigh, I knew he'd mention it soon enough.
-Yes, just a bit stressed out and with a headache that is drilling into my brain - I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyelids tightly to try and relieve the burning in my eyes from staring at the laptop screen for so long.
-Why don't you take a break? - He gets up -. Do you want something to drink? - I just nod.
He goes to the bar in my office, pours a couple of glasses of whiskey and hands me mine before sitting down again. I take a sip and the burning sensation invades my throat immediately. I was never a fan of whiskey, but Yurik forced me to get used to its taste shortly after I became an adult, with the excuse that it was the booze that "real" men have to drink.
A lot of crap, if you ask me. A bottle with a distilled fermented malt beverage and a bunch of cereal that makes you act like an idiot if you abuse its contents is not going to measure my virility. Many times I did it to get him to stop fucking with me, but many other times, the vast majority of times, I told him to fuck off.
After he died, I didn't want to throw away any of his things, I wanted to keep as much of his spirit alive as possible, partly also because of Fredek's demands. And the pinewood bar was one of his treasures, he built it himself and always took care of keeping it varied and assorted. Now I make sure of that.
-Did you talk to Franchesco? - he asks me after a moment of silence.
-Yes, he's already aware of everything.
-Happy to finally be able to deal with Rocco? - finishes his drink and leaves the glass now empty on my desk.
-Are you kidding? - I snort, looking at him in disbelief -. Do you think I'd be happy if I found out you've been looking at me like an asshole for a long time?
-Well, no. But you know what I mean - snaps his tongue before continuing -. If I were him, I'd handle the motherfucker by taking all the time in the world. Not even begging me to kill him I'd give him the pleasure - and I do not doubt it. Yaakov has always been my right-hand man, and although I consider myself to be rather cruel, my cousin is supremely bloodthirsty.
-Yes, but the damage is done anyway. Franchesco still doesn't know if Rocco has done anything with the information he has about his organization. He's been at his side for many years, Rocco practically has him in the palm of his fucking hand. And if he's not smart enough to deal with him, all that valuable data will fall into the hands of the highest bidder. I mean, Franchesco's worst enemy.
-Hey, I wouldn't want to be in his pants - my cousin ironizes, raising one eyebrow and smiling sideways -. Look at all the crap Xander caused us and he didn't even work for us back then.
-And it could have been worse. Remember he said that as soon as he found out that the one he screwed over was me, he retracted immediately. If it was someone without a shred of a brain, he would have fucked us big time. Even if he was sleeping with the fishes now, we were up to our necks in shit.
-Speaking of which. What did you want to talk to Derek about? - Well, it took him 15 minutes to ask the question. He broke his record, I knew he wasn't going to be left in doubt.
-I reassigned him.
-Aha, and now where did you put him? - questions in confusion.
-He's still a bodyguard - I can't help but laugh when I notice his irritation. If there's one thing that upsets Yaakov, it's when people mess around.
The sinner talking about sins, actually. I can't stand that either, but there's nothing wrong with having a little fun playing with him.
-Speak the fuck up, Magnus. Before I kick the information out of you - frowns and points a finger at me.
-I assigned him as Xander's bodyguard - I finally reveal, his eyes open wide with surprise -. So I need you, as soon as you can, to instruct him on what to do.
-Are you fucking with me? - His mouth is hanging open.
-I'm sorry, I'm not into Alphas - I smile maliciously -. I gave that sacrifice to Lev - I ended up laughing at him when I saw how my comment ended up being over the top of the glass.
-Fuck you, Magnus! - He grunts annoyingly, slapping the palms on my desk, which makes me even more amused -. But are you serious? Did you assign him as his bodyguard? - he asks once I've calmed down. This time I just nod, take my time to light a cigarette, and slowly blow the smoke out of my nose. He was quiet for a while, watching me -. Because Dimitri is behind him?
-Yes, I can't risk compromising his safety.
-There's something you're not telling me, isn't there? - As perceptive as ever, I knew that sooner or later he would realize there was something I was hiding from him.
The first option that crossed my mind was to lie to him again, to tell him that there was absolutely no secret between us and that he was being paranoid. But if a situation like the one where Xander and I got caught in his bed happened again, I'd be risking losing his trust irrevocably and I can't allow that. Yaakov is practically my brother, my right-hand man and my man of trust. So I decided to tell him the truth.
-Xander's my partner, Yaak - I'll take another hit of my cigar while I wait for his answer. The silence expands for so many minutes that for a moment I thought he had fallen asleep with the eyes open. Ridiculous, I know, but he was so immobile in the seat that I worried he wasn't even breathing -. Yaakov? - I asked cautiously.
-Partner as in casual? - he murmurs, looking at me with suspicion -. Or bonded?
Now I'm the one who takes the time to respond. Hell, I'm not at all sure what his reaction will be, although I'll be sure to make it clear to him that no matter what bullshit he's going to pull this time against Xander and no matter how much he disagrees, I'm not going to leave him. I made that mistake once before and I won't do it again.
-Bonded - he takes a deep breath before proceeding.
-Did you claim him yet?
-No, not yet. But I will, you can be sure of that - I don't even hesitate, I want him to be certain that I'm not lying.
-He feels the same way about you?
-Yes.
-How can you be so sure? - He intervenes quickly, leans over the seat to watch me closely -. Remember what I told you? It's a cat, Magnus. They're promiscuous by nature. How can you be sure he's yours if you haven't even made the attachment?
-The Margays are not the same as the other cats, Yaakov. They stay with the same partner for life, just like us.
-Are you sure about this?
-Yes, I am - and I am surprised by the confidence I feel in affirming it. After talking to Xander and feeling his sincerity and his pain for the way I treated him, I do not doubt that he loves me and wants me as much as I want him.
-I don't want you to regret it, Magnus. I don't want you to get hurt either.
-I love him, Yaak - the words feel strange coming out of my mouth and I must look even stranger because Yaakov is watching me as if waiting for me to suddenly go into spontaneous combustion -. I don't know when it started, but it did. In the beginning, we had an agreement to stay exclusively on the sexual side, I would go almost every night to his room and leave nearly at dawn - I pause, my throat feels dry, so I clear it a little to be able to continue -. But suddenly I found myself thinking about him during business meetings, wanting to touch him when we were apart, to hear his voice until I fell asleep.
Images pass through my mind of Xander gently caressing my cheek after being together on one of those many nights, as he hummed a melody quietly for me to fall asleep, while his beautiful eyes watched me as if I were the most priceless thing in the world. I didn't understand it then, but it's as clear as day now. He looked at me with love and his whole body transmitted it to me equally. And now I feel even more guilty for treating him the way I did.
-I don't know, Yaakov - I continue, sighing nostalgically -. It just happened.
-Don't get me wrong, Magnus. I've grown quite fond of Xander, it's just that... I don't know - he shrugs -. I guess I still have a hard time trusting him - he pauses briefly -. I hope you know what you're doing.
-Believe me, I know, and I've never been more sure of anything in my life. After you told me all that crap about cats, I screwed up big time.
-What do you mean? - I could sense a curious yet cautious tone in his question.
-Well, I was so blinded by anger and jealousy that I treated him practically like a whore, didn't even let him talk and ended things. I hurt him pretty badly with my behavior and the days I was without him, I was miserable.
-You mean all those days when you've been in a hell of a mood? - He questions mockingly, I bite my tongue so as not to answer him with some insult, and I just nod -. I knew something was going on with that big head of yours, but you were so furious that I preferred to wait until you calmed down.
-Were you afraid of me, cousin? - obviously mocking, he snorts in disgust.
-Well, I appreciate my life, if that's what you mean. And I have a cute Omega who's hoping to have puppies at some point, so I'd rather keep my balls intact - we both laughed like idiots for a while -. But are you guys okay now? - When we manage to settle down.
-Yes, thanks to Fredek.
-Fred? - Adopting a confused expression -. What does Fred have to do with this?
-He and Xander seem to have become quite friendly. Fred realized he'd been sad since I ended things between us, so he looked into it further. Then he came over and practically told me I'd been a jerk and that Xander was in love with me too.
-Ah, yes! - He snaps the fingers as if he's just come up with an idea -. He came to see me and asked me what you and I had discussed after I discovered you were all tangled up that night - he frowned before continuing -. After I told him, he said I was a fucking idiot and left. I wanted to follow him and kick his ass, but bothering Nikon was more fun.
-I thought he'd done something like that. Although I appreciate that, he opened my eyes.
-Well, thank me, too. If I hadn't told you that, who knows how long you would have taken to confirm his feelings - he shrugs casually. I can't believe he's fucking saying that. I'm three seconds away from getting out of my comfy chair and beating the crap out of him.
-Screw you, asshole - I answer instead, I still need him in one piece to do his job -. I was able to almost convince him to take me back. I'll never believe in your bullshit again.
-Hey, what was I supposed to know that the Margays were different? I'm not an encyclopedia.
-Yeah, but that didn't stop you from talking trash.
-But, what will you do then? When will you claim him?
-I don't know, maybe in his next heat. I wish to do things right, and I want the discomfort of the coupling not to be so strong for him.
Now, this part has been bothering me. Omegas are not as strong physically as Alphas and it is common that after they are claimed, they get sick for a few days while their body adjusts to the new changes. Some have even died from not resisting, too weak and fragile to endure it.
Alphas can heal quickly and so the binding does not affect us as much once it is complete, but this capacity in the Omegas is much slower. Their bodies take longer to heal wounds and cure diseases, so they are more susceptible to suffering during the coupling. Because of this, it is preferable and much easier for them to be claimed during their heat.
It becomes less painful for them and their body assumes the changes much faster.
-Relax, for anything you need, you can always ask Lev for help.
-Yes, I know. But I'm still worried. Xander's so small, I'm often afraid to hurt him. I'm sure the coupling will be difficult for him.
-And that's what we're here for, partner. To be there when needed, to comfort and help in whatever way we can - resting his back on the chair and sighing deeply -. When will you tell the others? - The question takes me off guard, even though I saw it coming.
-I don't know. I'm just gonna let things take their course. Although I'm not comfortable with them finding out right now. I don't know the reason why Dimitri's behind him and I need to be sure he's safe.
-Well, I doubt it's common knowledge that he's here. I mean, do you remember that we kidnapped him?
-Yes, but I'd still rather not take any chances.
The hours pass and Yaakov keeps me company until nightfall. In the end, I don't make much progress in my work, so I put it on hold again, hoping to be able to solve it tomorrow.
I leave my office, locking the door behind me, and head slowly to my room. My body is tense and overwhelmed with fatigue, but I must admit that talking to Yaakov has taken a load off my mind. And the fact that he didn't put up any more resistance was even better.
No matter what shit he might have said against us, I'm not gonna break up with Xander again. He's mine, mine, mine. By the time I'm near my bedroom, I couldn't be happier. I long for a warm shower, crawl under my sheets and sleep peacefully.
It's not until I open the door that I quickly know my plans are going straight to hell, replacing them with much better ones. I had completely forgotten the order I had given Xander, I was trying to keep him out of my thoughts for the rest of the day and then Yaakov arrived to distract me even more.
But, fucking God, I'm glad I forgot. To find him there, lying on my bed, completely naked and looking at me as if he wanted to devour me, is the most exquisite and delicious surprise I've ever had. I hurry to close and secure the door and approach the bed slowly, with hands in my trouser pockets, trying to look intimidating.
His eyes never leave mine, I can smell his excitement in the air and mine begins to grow in response. Once I am standing on the edge of the bed, I take a moment to appreciate his delicious body. His hands lay above the head, his black, shiny hair was messy on the pillow, eyes were crystal clear and beautifully yellow, his thick lips half-open.
The thin exposed neck screaming for my attention, his chest was rising and falling rapidly and the small nipples were already hard. Lowering my gaze even further, I observe his tiny belly button and the tattoo of the two feathers right next to it, damned sexy on that silky white skin.
His cock is hard and throbbing, resting proudly on his stomach, the beautiful head shaped like a mushroom red from excitement, with veins sticking out along its length. His long legs are slightly apart, with the knees bent.
Transparent pearls of his lubricant moistening his full and soft thighs. My mouth suddenly watered knowing that all that exposed flesh was there for my delight and I can safely say that I have never felt so lucky (and horny) in my life.
-Ready for dessert, Mr. Magnus?