Chapter 47 Time of Grief
Moscow, Russia. December 20th, 10:15 a.m. 12 years ago.
ALEXEI.
The heating in the car is adequate to counteract the cold on the streets and yet my body feels as if it were plunged up to the neck in a bathtub full of ice. The suit I'm wearing is completely black and I have to adjust the tie a couple of times in a failed attempt to relieve the oppressive feeling in my throat.
Fredek goes next to me in the back seat and the silence is heavy, sharp. It's been like that since the day the news of Yurik's death hit us both like a speeding truck. I would have preferred him to yell at me, to vent his anger, to even hit me if it made him feel a little better. But instead, he has imparted a law of cold that I fear is permanent.
I watch him and try to find the right words to speak. Honestly, I am in unfamiliar territory and I don't know how I should act in this kind of situation.
-Fred... - I'm careful to keep my voice low and subtle -. How are you? - He stops looking at the window, but instead of turning around and facing me, his eyes are directed towards the front.
-I'm fine - he replies sharply. The only thing I'm looking at now is his profile, but I don't have to be a fortune teller to know that he's lying to me.
-Fred, talk to me - I take a deep breath before I go on -. I know you think this is all my fault, but I had no way of knowing something like this would happen. All the safety protocols were in place and... - I run a hand through my hair, feeling the frustration growing in my chest -. Fuck, you know perfectly well that in this job, our lives are constantly in danger...
-And that's exactly the problem, Alexei! - he screams and for the first time in days, he sees me directly. His eyes, crystalline from the tears that threaten to come out, express so much pain and uncertainty that it is unbearable for me -. Do you have any idea what has gone through my mind these last days? Do you have any idea how scared I am that the same thing will happen to you? - Thick salty drops slide down his cheeks and my heart compresses inside my chest -. Don't think I'm stupid and naive! I know perfectly well that you will now take over Dad's business, but don't believe for a second that I will approve it.
I am completely perplexed and disconcerted by the words, for a long moment we both looked at each other without saying anything. The only thing I hear in the car is Fredek sobbing, so I reach out for him but he pushes me away halfway through.
-No - he grunted, wiping the moisture from his face roughly -. I do not want or need your pity, Alexei.
-Fredek, it's not pity what I have for you - I sigh, pushing the words through the knot that has been created in my throat -. You are my brother and I love you more than anything in this world. I had no clue how you were feeling - I swallow compulsively to calm down, it doesn't work -. He was my father too, Fred... I owe him. He built this empire with great effort and hard work, I can't just leave and pretend to go on with my life just like that. I would never forgive myself. So, yes - I sit up straight -. I will take the reins, but not just because of my debt to him, I will do it for me too - I pause and clench my jaw tightly, anger bubbling up inside me. Then I continue -. And I swear I will find the perpetrator and make him pay with his blood.
-That won't bring him back, Alex - whispers with exhaustion.
-No - I grant, a little relieved that he called me that -. But it will assure me that whoever it is that did this, won't hurt anyone else - «Including you», I almost add, but at that moment we both feel the car losing speed until it finally pulls over. My hands begin to sweat and my heart dances in agitation, but I am more concerned about Fredek's reaction to what is to come.
-Let's just get this over with quickly, Alex - his voice is so low and fragile I can barely hear it -. I want to go home - I run one of my hands through his hair, gently caressing him in an attempt to comfort and let him know that I am here for him, even though nothing can prepare us for what we are about to face.
I take a deep breath and open the car door. As soon as I get out, the chilly, strong December breeze slaps my face mercilessly. I adjust my coat a bit and wait for my brother to come out. Mr. Chang gets out of the passenger seat and stops a few steps away, waiting for us.
Taking a quick look around, I have never found cemeteries as creepy and disconcerting as they are today. The huge rows of perfectly aligned tombstones, some with arches of roses already withering, others with personal objects left by their relatives, some even with toys... The hair on the back of my neck rises at the thought of all the suffering rooted in the earth I'm standing on now.
I plan to stay as close to my brother as I can for as long as we are here, my protective nature is more active than ever and I do not plan to allow this whole situation to affect and traumatize him further. My priority is and always has been Fredek.
-Magnus - My cousin's voice takes me out of my thoughts just as Fredek stops by my side, holding my left arm tightly in his two hands. I think it makes him feel safe somehow, so I hold him tighter. Yaakov approaches us with a somber look, I understand that it must not be easy for him to be here either.
-Hello, Yaak.
-I'm sorry, partner - shakes my right hand, with the other one holding my shoulder -. I know how much Yurik meant to you.
-Thank you. It means a lot to us that you are joining us today - giving me a faint smile in response, the three of us went deeper into the place.
Everything around us is completely covered by a thick layer of snow and tiny flakes paint our hair and clothing, making a fragile attempt to protect us from the cold, in white. We walk silently along the narrow path until we manage to visualize in the distance a group of people, all dressed from head to toe in black, surrounding the coffin of dark and polished wood.
My eyes start to itch and my breathing gets labored with every step I take, but I force myself to stand firm for Fredek, who now clings to my arm as if his life depended on it. There are about forty people here today and I quickly realize that they are all heads of other organizations, partners, or allies with whom Yurik worked for many years.
But there's one... Someone I didn't expect to see, and his presence immediately puts me on alert. I stop and look over my shoulder to give Chang a discreet signal to approach. Once he stops by my side, I bend down so that I can whisper in his ear.
-What's Serge Zhukovski's son supposed to be doing here? - Chang makes a cautious inspection of the crowd until his eyes settle on the man who is distant, dressed equally in black, and wearing sunglasses, with hands in his coat pockets.
-I don't know, young man - he whispers back to me, with a markedly confused expression on his face -. I had no idea that Mr. Yurik had entered into a business relationship with the Zhukovskis, he never mentioned it to me.
-Nor to me - I say, before I go on my way again.
And that's what I find extremely odd. Yurik never hid information about the organization's activities from me, he always made sure that I was aware of everything, since as his right-hand man, I often had to stand up for him. Something in all this doesn't smell right to me, my body tightens even more and I am forced to keep on my guard.
When we finally approach, Fredek and I are immediately confronted by the crowd, and they never tire of repeating that they share our pain and that they mourn our loss, which no matter how many times they repeat it, does not eliminate the growing suffering in my chest. The last handshake I receive comes from the man who caught my attention from the moment I arrived and my uneasiness intensifies.
-Alexei Magnus, my condolences for your loss - his grip on my hand is firm and with the other, he removes the glasses so that he can look me straight in the eye as he speaks -. I am Dimitri, the son of Serge Zhukovski.
-I know who you are and thank you - I'll let him go, the greater the distance between us, the better -. I had no idea that Yurik was in contact with your father or with you.
-Well, not exactly - he snorts and his gaze goes to Fredek for a second, so I push my brother behind me not to involve him, so I catch Dimitri's interest again -. I mean, my father tried several times to go into business with him, but we weren't enough... - He pauses, with a grimace of displeasure on his face -. Worthy, so to speak. But no hard feelings. I came here in peace and pay my respects, that's all - raising both hands in the air as if he were surrendering.
-Well, I appreciate the gesture. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get on with this.
-Sure - by stepping aside, making way for us to go to our seats.
The Priest begins with his very elaborate speech, but after a few minutes, I feel that my body is disconnected from reality. It's the same as the day I heard about his death, I hear nothing, I smell nothing, I feel nothing... Nothing at all.
The only sense that still seems to be functional is sight, which is focused on his coffin. I wanted to take care of this as soon as I got the news, but since his plane had crashed in a foreign land, I had to go through a lot of shit to finally get his body delivered... Or what was left of it.
It took the police a total of three days to search for and identify the corpses of everyone on board the plane. Thank God Yurik was not missing any of his limbs by the time they finally gave me access to him, even though his state of decomposition was as advanced as to be practically unrecognizable. That is why we had to watch him with the coffin closed and as soon as possible due to the smell.
My investigation into the culprit has been delayed as well. I have lost a lot of money and time and I still feel at a crossroads. But I don't care how long it takes, sooner or later I'll know who did it.
-Alex, I want to leave - Fredek begs in a whisper, making me completely depressed and the facade I'm using almost dissolved.
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard that I feel the metallic taste flooding my mouth, I take several deep breaths until I think I can talk without falling apart.
I'm a mobster, after all, and now also the head of Yurik's organization, surrounded by so many men just like me or worse, I can't afford to break down in front of them. Strength is the only thing they have to see in me today and I intend to go all the way with it.
-It won't be long now, Fred - I whisper in his ear -. You can wait for me in the car if you like.
-What about you? - Raising his face until his tearful gaze connects with mine -. I don't want to leave you alone.
-I'll be all right - I smile at him -. I'll tell Yaak to go with you - he seems a little hesitant, but still obeys. He stands from the seat and quickly makes his way back to the car.
I'll ask Yaakov to go with him while this is all over. Mr. Chang takes the chair of my cousin and we both listen to the rest of the sermon, saying the last goodbye to the man I loved like a father, the workers starting with the descent of the coffin to the hole where he will remain from now on.
-How are you, young man? - he asks me with concern. I don't know exactly how many years he was working for Yurik, but I'd be an idiot if I thought he wasn't affected by his death as well.
-I'm fine, Chang - I lie -. And you?
-I don't know how to answer that, young man - I nod slightly in response, keeping my eyes on the workers who are now throwing dirt on the grave. Little by little the people have retreated while we remain here, standing, reluctant to leave -. Mr. Yurik was one of the strongest men I have ever known. His human nature never made him waver before anyone and that, in our world, is something to admire.
He is right. His reputation was forged with nothing more than determination and willpower, even though nearly ninety percent of his associates were shapeshifters. He earned the respect and honor that characterized him and opened many doors for him over the years. He taught me everything I know and now its time to put it all into practice.
-Come on, Chang. It's time to go home - the man pats me on the back and we both head for the car.
When we were a few steps away, I could see Yaakov talking to a male figure and when I got a good look at him, a sudden rage came over me. To such an extent that it is almost impossible for me to ignore it.
-What the fuck is Dimitri Zhukovski still doing here? - I mumble to Chang -. Don't you think it's too strange that he showed up today?
-I must admit that I found it unwise, young man - we both slowed down our steps as we got closer to have a chance to talk some more -. I doubt very much that Mr. Yurik was on good terms with his father, that he would appear here today could be taken as a challenge or a threat.
-And I'm prepared to face either, Chang - I promise, determination and confidence flowing through my veins -. There's no fucking way I'm gonna be intimidated by that asshole.
-Just don't get carried away with your emotions, young man. Maybe I could be wrong.
-Or maybe not. We'll find out soon enough - when we finally get to the car, Yaakov and Dimitri turn to look at us. Chang quickly gets into the copilot's seat, while my cousin stands next to me.
-I thought you'd already be gone, Dimitri - I offer sharp, I don't pretend to show sympathy where there is none.
-I just wanted to offer my condolences to your brother - smiling, pretending innocence -. I didn't get the chance before when the funeral started. I thought it would be appropriate before...
-I appreciate you keeping my brother out of this - I'm interrupting him before he continues with that pile of crap -. The situation has already affected him enough and I don't intend to make it worse.
-All right - He agrees solemnly, but I realize that my attitude has upset him.
-Why don't you save us both some time and tell me exactly why you're here? I know you've only taken the funeral as an excuse, so drop it now.
-Oh, come on. Do you think I'm capable of something like that? - puts a hand on his chest and smiles sideways. I want to slap that damn smile off his face. We both quietly challenged each other for a few moments, and when he realized that my answer would not come, he prepared to continue -. Okay, you're right. I figured now that Yurik's gone, you'll be in charge of his business, right?
-That's right. So?
-Well, my father and I have an interesting proposition for you - Rubbing his hands calmly -. If you give me time to explain what it is, maybe we can come to a good agreement. What do you think?
-When you talked about this with Yurik, what was his response?
-He was not very receptive - the joy in his expression slowly disappears.
-And what makes you think that I will be? - Crossing my arms over the chest and furrowing my eyebrows.
-Well, Yurik was a great man, I'm sure everyone who attended today knew that but... - he pauses, snapping his tongue -. He lacked vision. He was old school and wasn't adjusting well to the changes to come. I'm sure that's not the case with you. Or am I wrong? - raising one eyebrow, looking at me over his sunglasses.
-I'm sorry to disappoint you, Zhukovski - I keep my voice high and firm, I want to make sure he can hear me well when I tell him to fuck off -. But I plan to follow my father's footsteps. Yes, I'll make some changes here and there, make sure I keep the organization on track without becoming old-fashioned. But if Yurik didn't want to have anything to do with you, I'm sure I don't either.
-You haven't even heard what I have to say - grunts in anger.
-And I don't want to hear it either - I interrupt him rudely -. And I advise you, in my presence, to be very careful how you refer to Yurik. After all, the man was like my father, and I am not sure how I will respond to an insult towards him.
The silence falls quickly between us. So we stand, one in front of the other, challenging one another with our eyes without saying a word, the snow falling on us, and the fog blowing from our breaths. That is, until he's ready to talk again.
-Well, I can see that we won't be able to reason with you either. It's a pity, you know - he snorts, then shrugs, evaluating me without shame -. I imagine not everyone is smart enough to know how to take a chance when it comes on a silver platter.
-You can go now, Dimitri - and I hope he does before I take my gun out of its holster and blow his brains out.
-Yes. I'll see you around, Alexei - smiles sideways again, before turning around and heading for his car. I don't take my eyes off him until he gets going, and I lose him once he manages to leave the cemetery.
-Well, that was intense - my cousin snorts, pulls out a cigarette from his jacket and lights it, taking a deep breath. I had completely forgotten that he was still here, too focused on Dimitri and his shit.
-Yes - I spin around to look at him -. So, cousin - he looks at me with curiosity, raising an eyebrow -. Are you interested in a job?