I had high hopes for tonight after spotting her in the crowd. I missed her. I wanted to go to her that instant and kissed her senseless. One week of being away from her is pure hell. I can barely concentrate. Kung hindi ko pa pinilit ang sariling tapusin ang isang linggong pananatili sa Japan ay baka isang araw pa lamang ako doon ay nagpasya na akong umuwi. Hindi rin nakatulong ang presensiya ni Cahil na halata namang iniinis lang ako palagi. She would always tease me about the girl in my lockscreen. I saved Femella's picture from my other phone to make it my lockscreen. Since discovering it, she's been nagging me to meet the girl who she said to be 'the one' for me.
Naunahan niya lang ako sa pagpunta dito. I planned all along to go to her apartment after I checked the event. The Asturia matriarch requested my presence for tonight. She is a dear friend of my mother so I was kind of forced. Respeto ko na rin kay Cahil na matagal ko ng kaibigan at kababata.
Pero pagkatapos ng mga nalaman ko ngayon mula kay Femella, mukhang malabo nang mangyari ang mga plano ko sa aming dalawa. The only woman I have doted this way turned out to be a great pretender, a liar and an actress.
"Tapatin mo nga ako, Femella. Why did you come here? Is it really for me? Paano mo nalaman na pupunta ako rito? Don't lie. Be honest to me."
Tumutulo na sa carpet ang dugo ko pero hindi ko ito inalintana. I need to get this over now.
Nag-iwas ito ng tingin sa akin bago kuyom ang mga kamao na tumayo at hinarap ako. Her eyes were wet with tears. Gusto kong abutin siya at punasan ito pero mas nanaig ang galit ko.
"I came here not for you. I came her for the other person. But then I saw you and I thought to myself, maybe you can help me."
Tiim-bagang na tinitigan ko lang siya. Her hair still wet and her eyes feigned courage.
"I had you investigated. Walang lumabas na maaring sangkot ka sa nakaraan ko. Stop fooling me, Femella. Go out before I call the security."
Tumalikod ako pero pinigilan niya ako sa braso. I shook it away and faced her.
"No." Umiling ito. "No."
She got down on her knees, tears spilling down her cheeks. Itinaas nito ang namumulang mukha sa akin pagkatapos ay binitawan ang mga salitang hindi ko kailanman inisip na masasabi niya.
"Will you marry me, Maverick Fuentebella? Please?"
I looked down at her unable to say a single word. Nabigla ako sa ginawa at sinabi nito.
"You are the perfect one to protect me. Your name after mine is a security code no one would want to crack. Mr. Maverick Fuentebella, will you marry me? P-please?" ulit nito. Her trembling desperate voice unnerved me. She touched my toes with her cold shaking fingers while staring up at me.
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili at hinawakan siya sa mga braso para itayo. Hindi ko kayang makita siyang ibinababa ang sarili sa ganitong paraan. She is the strong head-on Femella I admired. She's not like this.
She cupped my face. "I know about your past, Mav. I can give you the answers to your questions. Only then will I let you go, Maverick. Help me and I will disappear from your sight for good. Please."
Hindi ako sumagot. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya habang hawak ko siya.
"Kapag tinulungan mo ako, para ko na ring hinubaran ang buong pagkatao ko sa iyo. Pero wala akong pakialam. Honestly, I don't care anymore. Basta mailigtas ko lang siya so I can free myself from these chains."
"You're asking for too much. I wouldn't want to do anything with that past. Nothing."
Binitawan ko siya at nagsimulang maglakad papunta sa banyo.
"Liar. Pareho nating alam na gusto mong malaman ang buong pangyayari. You are wishing to remember everything. I saw how far and wide you looked for clues. Back at the island, I lied awake every dawn hugging you tight because of your nightmares."
"Shut up! You're giving yourself too much credit. I will know it on my own. I will remember it on my won without the help of a liar like you. How low of you to use this against me to feed your agenda." I paused to stop myself from looking at her. "Hindi lang ang tulad mo ang magpapabago sa mga pananaw ko sa buhay, Femella. Leave. I wouldn't want to do anything with you."
"But I can give you your peace of mind, Mav. Hindi ka na babangungutin. Hindi ka na maghahanap ng walang direksiyon. You will be whole again," kumbinsi pa rin nito.
"How can I have that peace of mind you're talking about if you will entangle me with those murderers? And also, I don't believe in you. Get out."
"O-okay." Her voice again broke into sobs. "I get you. I-im sorry...I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. Kung medyo okay ka na at napag-isipan mo na ang mga sinabi ko, you can contact me. Forget that I asked for your help. I'm still willing to tell you the truth I've deprived you for how many years."
Narinig ko ang pagbukas-sara ng pinto. She's gone. For good. And I wouldn't want to do anything with her anymore. Sa halip na ituloy ang pagpasok sa banyo ay lumabas ako at nagtungo sa mini bar ng unit ko. Nagsalin ako ng alak sa baso at diretsong nilagok. I looked at the couch where we've been earlier drunken with passion and desire. Her gown and purse were on the floor together with my clothes.
I sighed and drank another gulp. Who cares if she left her purse? She's not my responsibility anymore.
"Right but what if she doesn't have any money with her? Damn."
Sa nagmamadaling kilos ay bumalik ako sa kwarto at kinuha ang cellphone. I called the security panel of the hotel.
"Good evening Mr. Fuentebella," sagot kaagad ni Jex.
"I have my female guest left my unit just now. She's wearing a white shirt. Escort her home."
"Copy, sir."
Tinapos ko ang tawag at lumabas para bumalik sa pag-inom. She had my night punched out. Who knows Femella has known me ever since? Who knows if she's telling me the truth or not?
Did I just fell into her trap? What if this is just another of her act?
But regardless if she's saying the truth or not, I can't help her in her own terms.
Tinanaw ko ang matatayog na gusali sa labas. This side of the world here is so lively and colorful but I felt nothing. I did not feel the usual peace of mind everytime I looked out into the beauty of the city skyline. My head is heavy with thoughts.
"There's a missing link to all of these."
Tumunog ang cellphone ko. Si Jex.
"Yes."
"Sir, may sumundo na pong lalaki sa babaeng sinasabi niyo. They're in a lobby now. How do I proceed, sir?"
Natigilan ako. Nagtatalo ang isip ko kung hahayaan na lang ba ang nalaman o hindi. Sa huli ay hindi pa rin ako nakatiis. I muttered a curse under my breathe. Damn you Fem for making me this weak.
"Be alert. Wag mong hayaang maisakay niya ang babae. I'll go down now."
Patakbong bumalik ako sa kwarto at humablot ng t-shirt saka patakbo uling lumabas papunta sa elevator. I walked out in a parking lot where Femella and a tall petite man were being held by my bodyguards. Nakatalikod silang dalawa sa akin at nakikipagdiskusyon ang lalaki kay Jex.
Hinawi ko ang mga tauhan at hinarap ang lalaki na ilang pulgada lang ang taas ko. The man looks so young. Kitang-kita rin ang pagiging banyaga nito dahil sa kulay-berdeng mga mata.
Tiningnan ko si Femella na nabigla nang makita ako pero agad ring nag-iwas ng tingin. Her eyes are so red from all the crying. I fought the urge to hug her and tell her it'll be aright, that I'll make it alright. It's over between us now.
"Thank you, Jex. Go back to your post," wika ko habang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa lalaki na ngayon ay may kakaiba ng ngiti sa sulok ng bibig nito.
I don't like his guts. And I don't like the way he holds Femella's arm.
"Yes, sir." Umalis na ito kasama ang lima pang bodyguards. Naiwan sa di-kalayuan ang tatlo para sa bantayan ako.
Pansamantalang bumitiw sa paglaban sa titigan namin ang lalaki at inalalayan sa pagpasok sa likod ng kotse si Femella. As if in reflex, I immediately came forward to stop him but he tactically gets in my way. Humarang ito sa nakabukas na pinto at seryoso akong tiningnan.
"Not this time, Mr. Fuentebella. Let the woman breathe first. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga nangyari pero hindi mo ba alam na masama ang magpaiyak ng babae?" Ngumisi ito. "It's in the number one list of being a gentleman."
"Get out of my way, kid."
Nagsukatan kami ng tingin. Marami akong hindi gusto sa batang ito. I don't like the way he said my name. He seemed to know things about me. I don't like the intelligence in his eyes as if he knows things more than me.
Pumalatak ito nang bumaba ang tingin niya sa duguan kong kamay. "Sa palagay ko ay may kailangan ka pang gawin. Treat your wound, man. Hayaan mo na kaming makaalis. I can assure you that Femella is safe with me. For one, hindi ako nagpapaiyak ng mga babae."
Tiim-bagang na pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata. "You better be. Malalaman ko kung nakauwi ba siya nang maayos o hindi. Kapag hindi, magtago ka na, bata." I emphasized my last word to make a point. Mukhang nakuha naman nito ang ibig-sabihin ko dahil nakangising tumango lang ito. Ngali-ngali ko nang sungalngalin ang mukha nito pero nagpigil ako.
"I think we're done here." Maingat na isinara nito ang pinto at pumunta sa driver's seat. Sumaludo pa ito sa akin bago binuksan ang pinto at pumasok saka pinaharurot ang sasakyan palayo.
I stood there still stuck in Femella's image. I sighed after remembering her swollen face. Pagkuwan ay tinanguan ko ang mga bodyguard na lumapit sa akin.
"Sundan niyo sila. Make sure naiuwi niya nang maayos ang babae," utos ko.
"Yes, sir."
I turned and headed for the stairs. Maybe I could go to my gym to ease this tension in my muscles.