CHAPTER 13
Midterms are now fast approaching. Most of the students are now busy preparing for the upcoming exam. However, in the nursing department, not only the midterms are coming but also the most awaited of some students the clinical. Clinical is wherein the nursing students practice what they learn in school into real patients. So, we need to duty in hospital and complete the units that given to us.
Probably we’re going to do some oral medications or non-invasive procedures under the supervision of our clinical instructor.
“Gosh, people midterms and clinical rotation are coming,” Althea said as she is scrolling through her cellphone to study.
We’re here at our usual spot in the morning when our classes haven’t yet started. Everybody was busy studying and reviewing for the upcoming exam. Kahit ang mga estudyante sa kabilang kiosk ay busy din sa pag-aaral. Ganito palagi ang set-up ng mga estudyante dito kapag malapit na ang exam.
“Kaya nga. Kaya kailangan talaga niyong mag-sipag ngayong week kasi next week na ang exam,” ngising sabi ko sa kanila.
Wala naman akong dapat ikabahala kasi kahit hindi exam, I always find time to study. Ewan ko lang sa mga kaibigan kong ‘to. I always remind them to study earlier so when the exams come, they won’t cram. Preparing is better than cramming. Cramming in the exam will lead you to fail. Pero mero’n ding iba na mas ginaganahan kapag nag ca-cram, and I salute them for that. But for me, I am always prepared.
I like to prepare things ahead than to multi-task. I’m not multi-tasker dahil kapag ganoon hindi ko na alam kung ano ang uunahin ko. Time management is the key for me.
I’m done studying for the upcoming exam. . .Nag re-review na lang ako ngayon dahil ang mga Prof. namin ay mahilig magpa-oral recit kapag nalalapit na ang exam.
My parents are not strict to us when it comes to academics. They want us to enjoy our youth, they want us to freely enjoy our studies rather than pressuring us, especially mom. My mom didn’t enjoy her teenage years because my grandparents were very strict regarding the achievements she gets. I think that is one of the reasons why they let us do what we want as long as we know our limitations.
Palagi niyang sinasabi sa amin na ‘wag daw kaming magpaka-pressure sa pag-aaral. Where’s the fun in studying if you keep pressuring yourself. Studying should be fun or atleast make it fun for yourself. You shouldn’t feel the pressure of the things that should be enjoyable.
I was in Senior Highschool when I learned to myself that I should make learning fun. . . but of course in a good way. In that way hindi ako nahihirapan para sa sarili ko. My friends would always say ‘bakit ang chill mo lang?’ and I would always tell them to find the fun in studying and don’t be pressured. Don’t be too hard on yourself take a rest if needed.
“Narinig ko sa iba na mahirap daw maging isang practioner nurse,” sabi ni Althea na medyo kinakabahan..
“Enjoy naman daw sabi ng iba,” Renaissa joined the conversation.
“I think ma e-enjoy ko ‘to kahit mapapagod ako.. You know I’ve always wanted to take care of patients. I enjoy helping people, I’d love to see their beautiful smiles plastered on their faces,” sabi ko sa kanila habang busy ako sa pag re-review.
I tried helping nurses in our hospital once. Pinayagan nila akong mag duty do’n dahil nasa second year college na rin ako that time and that serves as my experience. .kahit hindi ganoong katagal.
It was nice to see the faces of patients smiling. Na kahit anong inda nila sa mga sakit na mayroon sila ay tila hindi sila nawawalan ng pag-asa na kumapit sa kanilang buhay. But I know in this life, happiness is not permanent, you can be happy once, but in exchange, you need to deal with the hardships of life that were given to you. Everything here in this world is temporary no one stays forever-forever only exists in eternal life.
There, you couldn’t feel the agony that you’ve been experiencing in this world.
I saw that once when I saw how hard the patients enduring their pain. They smile genuinely to you that you thought they were okay, yet deep inside they were enduring the pain that anyone can’t notice. The pain that’s been hidden inside. Lalo na ‘yong mga pasyente na gustong-gusto na umalis para makapag-pahinga pero hindi sila maka-alis dahil sa mga taong iiwan nila dito. The pain of leaving your loved ones, and also the pain of losing your loved ones.
“We know Henzy. Parang lahat naman ata sayo ay pa easy lang. Parang ‘di ka nahihirapan ghad! Sana all no? Matalino,” maarteng saad ni Althea sa akin.
“Girl.. Libro kasi atupagin mo, ‘wag si Marc,” pangbabara ko sa kaniya.
“Duh, Marc is life girl. Whatever happens, I will make him fall for me,” maarteng sabi niya sa amin sabay flip pa ng kaniyang buhok.
“Ang tanong mahuhulog ba?” Zenneth and Hannah suddenly intervened, sabay pa ang pagkakasabi nila.
“Watch me,” nanghahamon na ani niya.
“We’re gonna watch you again getting drunk and crying or worst you’re drunk calling to Marc,” pang-aasar ko sa kaniya.
It always happens to her. Whenever she gets broken to Marc she will invite us to drink with her at kami naming kaibigan niya ay dadamayan namin siya. Kasi kung broken-hearted siya dapat kami broken din.
“Girl! Kaibigan ba talaga kita?” she whined like a child.
“Oo naman, kaya nga I’m stating facts right? Kasi alam na alam ko na ang gawain mo.”
“Ang sama mo talaga!” I chuckled at her reaction.
Althea made a deal to Marc that she will let him fall in love with her.
Why chase for the people to love you when you already know that they couldn’t even love you back? Para kang sumugal sa isang laro na alam mo sa una palang talo ka na. Why not wait for them to come? You don’t need to chase love, love will come to you when the right time comes. Kasi lahat ng bagay na minamadali ay pangit ang kinakalabasan.
But then again just like everybody, my friend is just a victim of love perhaps a slave of love. Laging sunod-sunoran sa puso sila ‘yong mga klase ng nagmamahal na mas pipiliin ang puso kesa utak, na kahit mali na, na sasaktan na mas pipiliin nilang maging sunod-sunoran.
Althea immediately diverted the topic. “Pero seryoso bakit ang hirap ng nursing!” she rolled her eyes in annoyance and groaned.
“Hoy! Wala namang madali sa college!” I protested.
“Pahingi ng utak mo Henzy share mo sa amin,” Hannah joked. Isang himala na ‘di siya naglalaro ng mobile legends ngayon .
“Gaga, sabog na din brain cells ko wala na akong ma she-share sa inyo.”
“Ikaw? Parang ang chill mo nga ata ngayon eh,” si Zenneth na kanina pa tahimik dahil busy din sa pag-aaral. Mayroong libro sa kaliwang kamay at highlighter naman sa kanang kamay.
True enough being in college is not as easy as you could think. Unlike junior high and senior high school that you could still chill the night before the exam..go to parties and all but when you enter college you can’t do the things that you did in your junior years. The adjustment will be hard for you.
I remember Hannah and Althea crying when they get the result of their exams. That was because we went to the bar for no reason. I also remember them whining at me why I still ace the exam na pare-pareho lang naman kaming may hang-over noon.
Then after that hindi na sil nag-aya na mag bar ulit.
“I’m just reviewing some terms our Prof. might be doing the impromptu recit,” I answered Zenneth.
“By the way girls,” I called their attention. I suddenly remember the text message of Gwyn last week. Their wedding will be this week Saturday and she wants me to talk to her before the wedding. She wants to settle the issue between us-that means our friends also.
“Ahhmm…Gwyn wants to talk to us,” I nervously told them. I don’t know if they were still affected by what happened before or they already forget it.
“What?!” Althea voiced raised with her wide eyes open. Napatigil siya kaniyang pagsusulat sa biglaang pagkasabi ko sa kanila.
Zenneth and Hannah were just silent. I don’t know if they were okay with it or they don’t. “She wants to fix the issue between us before she will get married to Christoph.”
“Christoph?” Kung kanina ay tahimik lang si Zenneth ngayon naman ay nakakunot na ang kaniyang noo ang at takang nagtatanong sa akin.
“Your ex?” Hannah asked.
“Yup,” I simply answered. Hindi na siya nang-usisa uli pa kung paano at kalian kami nagka-usap ni Christoph.
I didn’t tell them that I and Christoph have been reconciled already except Renaissa. Hindi naman lahat ng bagay sayo ay dapat mong ipaglandakan sa kanila. I just want to keep it to myself because it’s my issue and my friends are nothing to do with this.
“So, we’re invited on their wedding day?” si Althea.
I nod to them, “So, kapag hindi siya ikakasal hindi niya tayo kakausapin?” Zenneth suddenly spoke, her left eyebrows raised at and I sense mockery in her tone.
I knew it. Hindi niya pa siguguro napapatawad si Gwyn sa kaniyang ginawa dati. It leaves an unforgettable mark on her. Kung galit ako dati sa ginawa niya mas grabe ang galit at sakit na iniwan niya sa kaniya.
Imagine, leaving by your bestfriend without any reason, cut ties with her and, didn’t contact you for years are the worst feeling you’ve ever felt. Hindi ko siya masisi kung bakit hanggang ngayon galit pa siya sa kaniya.
“Buhay pa pala ‘yon,” dagdag niya pa.
“Zen!” Renaissa suddenly stood up and slammed the book in front of us. Napapitlag ako sa biglaang pagsigaw ni Renaissa at napatingin sa amin ang mga estudyante na naka tambay sa kabilang kiosk.
“Makasabi ka parang patay na siya ah, she’s still our friend!”
Nakita ko ang pagpipigil ni Renaissa nang galit niya, mariin siyang pumikit at huminga ng malalim. Minsan lang ito magalit at ngayon ko na lang ulit siyang nakitang galit. Renaissa was the calmest among us. . . Siya ‘yong palaging nag-iisip muna bago gawin ang mga bagay-bagay. When it comes to decision Renaissa is rational. But seeing her right now mad at Zenneth because of what she said must have been triggered her inside.
She still considers Gwyn as our friend-sister.
I understand why Zenneth was reacting that way, shes’s hurt pero hindi ‘yon rason para sabihan niya ng ganyan si Gwyn.
“Zen, Nais calmed dow-“
“Friend? May kaibigan bang nang-iiwan bigla?! May kaibigan bang iiwang ang isang kaibigan kung saan mas kailangan siya nito?! Sorry to say this but I won’t come to her wedding and listen to her shits!”
And just like that Zenneth walked out leaving us dumbfounded by her sudden burst out. Nabalik lang ako sa huwisyo ng biglang nagsalita si Hannah.
“Sorry guys.. I will talk to her don’t worry pipilitin ko siya na pumunta para naman magka-usap silang dalawa,” Hannah apologetically smiled to us and went to Zenneth.
It’s been three days already and Zenneth didn’t talk with us. Hannah was still in pursuing her to come with us kasi dalawang araw na lang kasal na ni Gwyn. It must have been hard for her and I understand that. Kung ayaw niya sumama sa amin I understand also, and I know she received a message from Gwyn cause right after I announced to them that Gwyn wanted to talk to us, nag message siya sa kanila pagka-hapon.
“It’s been three days already pero hindi niya pa kami pinapansin,” reklamo ko kay Reeve.
Magkasama kaming dalawa ngayon dito sa grand stand na naman ulit. Gusto kong mag review sa library pero dahil maraming tao doon at wala ng bakanteng mga upuan dito na ako dumeretso. At timing naman ang pagpunta ko dahil nakita ko rin si Reeve na nag-aaral din.
Nandito kami ngayon sa nag-iisang round table at upuan na gawa sa semento. Merong mga kahoy ang naka tayo sa gilid nito na pumo-protekta sa init na dala ng araw. And it’s a perfect place to chill out dahil sa preskong hangin na dala nito. I think one of the reason na dito ako palaging pumunta cause I find inner peace. The way how the fresh air brush my skin gives me an electrifying feeling. Napapikit ako at linalanghap ang preskong hangin.
Na miss ko tuloy ang lugar kung saan ako lumaki.
At kanina pa rin ako daldal nang daldal kay Reeve pero hindi niya pa rin ako pinapansin. Naabutan ko siya dito kanina na nag-aaral suot ang kaniyang rimmed glasses at mayroong mga nursing books sa gilid nito at kaharap niya rin ang laptop niya. He looks professional now that he wears his rimmed glasses. Kung hindi lang siya naka suot ng school uniform naming aakalain mong isa siyang Professor dito.
He looked at me with his annoyed face and then went back to what was his doing. Oppps. . . na sobrahan ata ako ng daldal kaya na inis siya sa akin.
“Just give her time to reflect herself and please. . . stop talking first I need to understand this one.” He replied at iritado pa rin sa akin dahil sa bigla kong pag-istorbo sa kaniya.
“Ano ba hindi mo ma-intindihan diyan?”
Dahil magkaharap kaming dalawa pumunta ako sa pwesto niya at umupo katabi niya. He was busy looking at his laptop at nakita ko kung saang subject siya nahihirapan.
“Baka may maitulong ako,” dagdag ko pa.
“Wala,” seryosong saad niya sa akin.
“Dali na, saan ba?”
“Tsk. Wala nga.” Inilayo niya pa ang laptop sa akin at umusug ng kaunti.
“Anticonvulsants. That drug uses to treat seizures. You know seizures can be divided into two broad categories: partial seizures and generalized seizures. Partial seizures-“
“May be associated with epilepsy or referred to focal seizures focally begin in the cerebral cortex while generalized seizures may be convulsive or non-convulsive that usually produce an immediate loss of consciousness.”
Nakaawang ang bibig ko na tinitingnan siya. He just cut what I’m about to say and continue it!
Nakita ko kasi siyang nahihirapan na sagutan ang practice quiz na nasa laptop niya and it’s all about the Drug Handbook. Diyan lahat nakasaad ang mga iba’t-ibang klase ng gamot at para saan, mga dosage at kung ano-ano pa. Then I noticed na doon siya nahihirapan so I gave him an answer.
“See, I knew it,” walang ganang asik niya sa akin.
“Eh ano ang action niyan para sa mga may ganoong sakit?”
“You really want to know my capabilities ha” He faced me and smirked.
“Dali na! I want to know if you really know the answer.” I challenged him.
Inilingan niya lang ako at binalik niya na ulit ang tingin niya sa kaniyang laptop. He jotted some notes and didn’t mind me.
“Uy! Sige na!” pangungulit ko ulit sa kaniya.
“Just review peacefully there Henzy Neve. ‘Wag mo kong kulitin.”
“Tapos na akong mag-review. Sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko at promise di na kita kukulitin ulit.” Tinaas ko pa ang kanang kamay ko para ipakita na di ko na siya kukulitin ulit.
“Fine. It can prevent or reduce the excessive discharge of neurons with seizure foci or decreased the spread of excitation from seizure foci to normal neurons. So, in other words maiiwasan ang pag-aatake ng kanilang seizures. “
“Wow!” Ang tanging nasabi ko sa kaniya. He really has the looks and brains. Magka-klase kami pero hindi siya active sa mga recit ng Prof namin. Sasagot lang kapag tinatawag minsan natutulog pa.
Alam kong matalino siya kasi tinuruan niya rin ako dati sa isang subject na kung saan nahihirapan ako. Pero ang marinig ulit to galing sa kaniya ay nakakahanga. Aside from Christoph ngayon na lang ulit ako nakakita ng ganitong klaseng lalaki.
“Happy? Can I study in peace now?” Tumango na lang ako bilang sang-ayon sa kaniya.
Hinayaan ko na lang siya na mag-aral diyan at kanina ko pa din siya tinitigan. He really is focused right now, pabaling-baling siya sa libro at sa laptop niya. Tapos kapag may hindi siya na-iintindihan sinusulat niya sa kaniyang maliit na notebook. I also noticed how beautiful his penmanship is.
Lahat ng strokes niya ay pantay pantay. Ang mga nakasulat ay parang nakalutang sa ere dahil hindi line to line ang kaniyang pagsusulat. He’s also organized on his belongings. Naka-arrange ng maayos ang mga libro sa tabi nito. . . ang kaniyang ginagamit na libro ay nasa tabi ng kaniyang laptop.
Pati ang mga iba’t ibang kulay ng highlighters ay may proper arrangement din.
Tumunog ang kaniyang phone pero hindi niya pinapansin ito. Ilang sandal uli ay tumunog na naman.
“Ayaw mong sagotin?”
“Paki sagot na lang please,” pakiusap niya sa akin na hindi ako tinitingnan.
“Ok.” At kinuha ko ang cellphone niya.
Nang makita ko kung sino ang tumawag kay Reeve ay agad ako napabaling ng tingin sa kaniya.Hindi niya napansin ang biglaang pagtingin ko dahil hanggang ngayon ay busy pa siya. Ibinalik ko ulit ang tingin ko sa phone niya dahil baka namamalikmata lang ako. . . pero hindi. It was her. . .
Kung kanina tumatawag siya ngayon naman ay nag send siya ng message
Gwyn:
Can you come?
Gwyn:
Please come…
I want to see you there.. Pretty pleaseeeee…
It was Gwyn. I confirmed it dahil picture niya ang nasa ang icon.
Kilala niya rin Gwyn? Kung oo, paano at kalian? Then I remember what his bestfriend said last time!