Chapter 33

Mad

I was about to let go of my lips to him when he suddenly sucked my lower lip before pushing his tongue inside my mouth. I gasped at what he did, but it didn’t stop him from moving his tongue playfully inside my mouth, tasting every piece of me. Nang dahil sa ginawa niya ay nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko at muntik ng mawalan ng balanse kun’di dahil sa mga kamay niyang buminigay ng suporta sa bewang ko.

Nang maka-adjust sa paglalaro niya ng kaniyang dila sa bibig ko ay walang pagdadalawang isip na sinabayan ko ito. Pikit mata akong sumasabay sa galaw ng mga labi niya sa bibig ko. I yelped when he suddenly lifted me as his kisses went down to my jaw, down to my neck, and back again to my lips.

Naramdaman ko ang lamig na dulot ng kawayan na kinaroroonan ko ngayon dahil sa dahan-dahan niya akong pinahiga without breaking the kisses. Suddenly, the sensation that I am feeling intensify when his lips went down again to my neck as he expertly licked every bit of it. I let go of my hold around his neck and grabbed his hair as he deeply licked and sucked every bit of my soft spots.

I arched my neck to give him more access, letting out a moan. I bit my lips and closed my eyes, pleasuring every kiss he gave on my neck up to my jaw. Slowly, I felt him unclasping my bra inside of my shirt.

That fast! Hindi ko man lang namalayan na nakapasok na pala ang kamay niya sa loob ng damit ko. Pero masyadong nagliliyab ang mga halik na ibinibigay niya sa akin kaya hindi ko naramdaman ang pagpasok no’n sa damit ko. Mas lalong uminit ang nararamdaman ko nang hinimas-himas niya ang maselang parte sa loob ng damit ko.

Damn…. His kisses were so good. I am totally lost, feeling to want it more.

“Reeve,” I moan his name…

Nang marinig niya ang pagtawag ko sa pangalan niya ay huminto siya. Binuksan ko ang mga mata kong namumungay at takang nakatingin sa kaniya. Sumalubong agad sa akin ang namumungay niya ring mga titig. Ipinikit niya ang kaniyang mata ng mariin at huminga ng malalim bago ako pinaupo ng maayos.

“Shit… I’m sorry,” garalgal niyang pagpapaumanhin sa akin.

“I should have done that… shit… I’m sorry, Neve,” pagpapaumanhin niya ulit.

Inayos ko ang damit na gusot-gusot na bago ko siya tinignan sa mga mata. He shouldn’t be saying sorry to me. I also want it. Bumigay din ako at ginusto ang ginawa niya sa akin. Hindi niya kailan humingi ng paumanhin sa akin dahil lang sa hindi niya na control ang sarili niya kasi ako gano’n din. Malapit ko na rin hindi ma control ang sarili ko.

I shook my head and caressed his face. He’s looking at me with those soft sets of eyes. “Why are you saying sorry?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I continued.

Umiiling siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko na nasa mukha niya. “I almost didn’t control myself. I almost did it, kung hindi lang ako nabalik sa huswisyo ko. I shouldn’t have done that without your permission, Neve.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Reeve. The moment I responded to your kisses, you have my access already. I also want it. It’s not your fault,” I told him.

“You don’t deserve to have it here, Neve. You don’t deserve to lose it here. You deserve to give it to me after our wedding and not just in a random place like this,” he softly muttered.

He planted a soft kiss at the top of my head and hugged me tightly. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa kaniyang sinabi. Oh, Reeve, why do you always do this to me? Why do you always flatter me?

If you keep on doing this, I might not control myself anymore and totally gives in to you. Baka hanap-hanapin ko ang mga ginagawa mo sa akin araw-araw dahil sa ginagawa mong ito.

“Why are you doing this? Why do you always flatter me too much?” I can’t help but state what my mind thinks.

“I drown myself in the vast of the ocean, and I am afraid that I can’t find my ways to swim-up.”

“I’m here willing to save and catch you always,” he stated, and that makes my heart goes wildly again.

“I love you, Neve.” Damn… hearing these words coming from his mouth is music to my ears. I have been waiting for him to tell it me directly. Pero mas nanaig ang pagtiwala ko sa nararamdaman niya kesa sa salitang ito.

Hindi naman araw-araw kailangan marinig ang mga salitang ito. Ang nararamdaman mo sa isang tao ay sapat na dahilan para malaman mong mahal mo siya.

You don’t say ‘I love you’ out of obligation. You say those words because that’s what your heart truly speaks. And sometimes, you also don’t need to hear them. You just need your heart to speaks for you.

At ganiyan ang pinaniwalaan ko. I let our feelings speak for us that’s why I don’t say those words, yet it feels different when he finally stated it.

Mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap sa kaniya, hoping that he would hear how my heart beats so fast for him.

We stayed silent and let our hearts speak for us. He brushed my hair, and it calms me. Tanging ingay ng mga alon at ang ingay ng aming puso ang tanging naririnig namin ngayon.

Hindi namin namalayan ang oras at pagdating namin sa rest house ay tulog na ang lahat. Separated ang kwarto naming lahat. Gusto sana ni Reeve na magkatabi kami sa pagtulog kaso kumontra ang mga kaibigan ko. Hindi porket magjowa na kami ay papayagan nila kaming matulog na magkatabi.

He kissed my forehead for the last time. “Good night, Neve. Dream of me.”

“Goodnight Reeve, see you tomorrow,” nakangiting saad ko bago ako pumasok sa kwarto.

“Yes! Finally, first semester is done!” Hannah happily stated. Nandito kami sa canteen at nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng exam.

“Makakapagpahinga na rin tayo kahit papaano!” masayang wika ko.

Pagkatapos kasi naming magkaroon ng trip ay balik sa pagsusunog ng kilay kaming lahat. Walang ng oras para gumala kung saan-saan dahil sa exam week. Pasahan din ng mga projects ngayong linggo kaya wala talagang panahon para magpahinga.

Time is precious, and we have to spend it wisely. Lahat kami ay busy sa pag-aaral at walang panahon para sa ibang bagay. Kaya naman ay hindi ko nakita si Reeve ng ilang araw. Inaya niya ako sa sabay kaming mag-aral pero tinanggihan ko siya.

Baka kasi imbis na mag-aral kami ay iba pa ang mga magawa namin.Mahirap na at iba rin ang masagot ko sa exam ko.

“You’re going home to your province after this?” Renaissa, who was silent earlier, asked me.

“Yes… I miss my fam there,” I answered her.

That’s my plan after the final exam at balak ko itong sabihin kay Reeve kapag nagkita kami. Plano ko rin kasing sabihin kina mom at dad na may boyfriend ako. They aren’t strict about having a relationship naman as long as I know my priorities.

At alam ko rin na hindi sila tututol sa relasyon namin ni Reeve. Hindi nga sila tumtutol sa relasyon namin ni Christoph no’n ito pa kaya. My parents gave their trust in me, so I shouldn’t break it.

“Ahh! Want kong sumama sa inyo… I miss tita and tito and your lil sis,” biglang sabi ni Althea.

“Edi sumama ka,” I told her. Kapag sembreak namin ay kadalasang sumasama sila sa akin sa pag-uwi ko sa probinsya. Nagustuhan kasi nila do’n lalo na ang preskong hangin na hindi nila nahihinga dito sa Gensan. Sa amin kasi pinapalibutan kami ng mga puno at mga halaman do’n na nagdudulot ng preskong hangin.

Hindi rin marami ang mga kabahayan do’n at malayo sa city kaya gustong-gusto nilang sumama sa akin sa tuwing umuuwi ako dahil napaka peaceful daw ng province life.

Pero ngayon ay hindi sila makakasama dahil may kaniya-kaniya kaming agenda sa taon na ito.

She pouted, “Hindi pwede, I want to spend my break with Marc.”

Bigla akong nabulunan sa kinakain ko dahil na bigla ako sa sinabi ni Althea. Did I heardi it right? Spend time her break with Marc?!

“Dahan-dahan Henzy, baka pagalitan kami ni Reeve kapag namatay ka r’yan dahil lang sa nabulunan ka,” biro ni Hannah sa akin. Pero hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya.

I looked at Althea na kunot ang noo. “You what?!” bahagyang tumaas ang boses kaya napatingin ang ibang estudyante malapit sa table namin.

“Ba’t gulat na gulat ka?” she laughed.

“Kayo na?!”

“Huli ka na sa balita Henzy,” Zenneth joined the conversation.

“Alam niyo?!”

“Puro Reeve ka kasi kaya huli ka na sa balita,” si Renaissa.

“OMG! How?” tanong ko ulit.

“Grabe ka naman maka ‘how’ Henzy. Ikaw lang pwede magka-jowa, gano’n?” Althea joked.

I ignored what she said and ask again another question. “Kailan lang?

“After our small trip,” she simply stated.

“Mabuti at naging mamon ang puso niya? Pero mag-iingat ka pa rin, Althea huh. Playboy ‘yang boyfriend mo. Baka isang araw magugulat ka na lang may kontrabidang lumapit at sumira sa relasyon niyo dahil na buntis ni Marc,” walang preno kong sabi sa kaniya.

“Don’t worry, I know my boundaries… Edi kapag mangyari ‘yon ay ako na ang kusang aalis. I won’t ruin the future of that baby just because of my selfish decision. Ibang salita na kapag may batang involved na,” she seriously uttered.

“Hmmm… siguraduhin mo lang… baka isang sorry lang no’n ay hihina ka na agad. Marupok ka pa naman,” Zenneth straightforwardly said to Althea.

Natawa kami dahil sa walang filter na pagsasalita ni Zenneth. Minsan lang ‘yan nagsasalita pero pamatay naman kagaya na lang ngayon. Sabihan ba naman ng marupok si Althea.

“Ano masama sa pagiging marupok? Nagmamahal lang naman ako,” Althea defended.

“Walang masama pero kapag sobra-sobra na do’n na nagiging masama kasi nagiging martyr ang mga tao. Kung ilang beses ka ng sinaktan, tama na. ‘Wag mong gawing dahilan ang pagiging marupok mo kasi puso mo lang naman sa huli ang magiging kawawa at hindi ang puso niya,” seryosong wika ni Zenneth.

“Learn to give up. Not all the time you need to fight for love cause sometimes fighting for it isn’t worth it. What’s worth it was setting yourself free,” dagdag niya pa.

“Bakit ang lalim ng pinanghuhugutan mo? Na in love ka na ba Zenneth?” I laughed.

“Hindi… based on observation lang,” she replied.

“Ang lalim naman ng observation mo,” Hannah stated.

“Ikaw na ang love adviser of the year, Zen,” Renaissa claimed.

My phone beeped. I smile when I saw who texted me. I miss him already kahit ilang araw lang naman kaming hindi nagkita. Hindi rin kasi kami magkasama sa exam room kaya hindi rin kami nagkita buong exam period. At ngayon tapos na ang exam ay makakasama ko na siya bago ako umuwi sa amin.

Reeve:

Meet me at our usual spot after you talked with your friends.

Napangisi ako ng Mabasa ang mensahe niya. Kaya mahal ko siya eh. Hindi siya nakikihati sa oras ko sa mga kaibigan ko. Kapag alam niyang kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko ay hindi niya ako iistorbohin para lang makasama siya.

Hindi siya ‘yong demanding na boyfriend na gusto lagi nasa kaniya lang ang attention ng girlfriend. Kapag oras ko sa mga kaibigan ko ay oras ko at hindi na siya makikihati pa. Just like this.

Ako:

Okay, copied <3

Hindi rin nagtagal ay nagpaalam na kami sa isa’t-isa dahil may gagawin pa raw sila. Agad naman akong nagtungo sa tambayan namin ni Reeve na nakaupo sa nag-iisang lamesa do’n at naabutan ko siyang nakikinig ng kanta dahil naka headphone siya.

He was swaying his head with his eyes closed as he enjoys the beat of the music playing in his head. Hindi niya napansin ang presenysa ko dahil sa lakas ng tugtog niya at nakapikit pa siya.

I took out my phone and secretly captured the beautiful scenery I was witnessing. Nakailang take ng shots ako bago ko ibinalik ang phone sa loob ng bag.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at niyakap siya ng nakatalikod. He stopped swaying his head and took out his headphone. Humarap siya sa akin at yinapos ang bewang ko.

Tumingala siya at nakangiting tumitig siya sa mga mata ko. “How was your exam?” he softly asked.

“It’s fine…” I answered,

I brushed his messy hair using my fingers. Pumikit siya sa simpleng ginawa ko sa kaniya. Gustong-gusto kong ginaganito ang buhok dahil nasisiyahan ako. Sometimes, I would even play with it I will tie or braid his her.

“Ikaw? How’s the exam?” ako naman ngayon ang nagtanong sa kaniya.

“Easy, Neve,” mayabang niyang wika.

Pagkatapos kong paglaruan ang buhok niya ay hinawakan ko naman ang mukha niya. I squeezed and pinch his face so hard. Napasimangot siya dahil sa ginawa ko sa kaniyang mukha pero hindi siya nagreklamo.

“Oo nga naman. Wala namang hindi madali sa’yo.” And pinched his cheeks more harder but this time he complained.

“Stop it… it hurts already, Neve.” Dinakip niya ang dalawang kamay ko at pinagsilop ito sa kaniya.

“I love to pinch your cheeks!” pagpapa-cute ko sa kaniya.

“Wait ‘till we have a baby, Neve. Mas masarap pisilin ang pisngi ng mga bata.”

“Matagal pa naman ‘yon kaya ngayon pisngi mo muna ang pipisilin ko,” tinaas-taas ko pa ang kilay at nginisian siya.

“I am not a baby, Neve. My cheeks aren’t your pinching bag,” he laughed, “palagi mong kinakawawa ang pisngi ko. Hindi ka ba naaawa sa kanila?”

I stopped pinching his cheeks and leaned closer to him. I smirked and whispered, “You’re not a baby, but to me, you’re my baby.”

“I’m your baby now, but it’s much better to have a baby, Neve,” he playfully smirked.

Bigla akong pumalakpak kaya nagtataka niya akong tiningnan. “May sense of humor ka na pala ngayon. I remember last time when I tend to have a joke like this, you just showed me your annoying face. Pero ngayon natuto ka ng mag joke ha.”

“It’s because you’re a virus to my system. Nakakahawa. You influenced me,” he chuckled.

“Should I take that as a compliment, my baby?” I playfully told him. I leaned my face much closer to him. I saw how his adam’s apple moves kaya mas lalo kong inilapit ang mukha ko.

Pero bigla akong napatili nang siya na mismo ang naglapit ng mukha namin. Sa sobrang lapit namin ay aakalain nang mga nakakita sa amin na may ginagawa kaming kababalaghan.

“Stop calling me baby, or else we’ll make a baby.”

He stares longly with a playful smirk plastered on his face. Tila na estatwa ako sa kinatatayuan ko hindi alam ang sasabihin sa kaniya. Lumunok ako ng ilang beses bago tumayo ng matuwid. I avoided his gaze at me.

Damn… Henzy natameme ka ngayon? Ikaw ang nagsimula nito pero natiklop ka rin agad.

I heard him laughed and stood beside me in front of me. His eyes landed on the necklace he gave and touched it. “But before we’ll make a baby. We’re going to reach our dreams first, my future doctor.”

“Of course, Reeve. Our dream first before anything,” I smiled and pinched his cheeks for the last time. Hindi na rin naman siya nagreklamo at hinayaan na lang ako.

The school ended for this first semester. My mom immediately calls me as soon as she heard that my classes end. She wanted me to go home earlier than the said time I planned because my sister got sick and no one will take care of her. Si manang na matagal na naming kasama sa bahay ay biglang umuwi sa kanila dahil may sakit ang kaniyang anak kaya wala siya ngayon.

This time, my sister needs me pumayag na ako kahit na gusto ko pang mag stay ng ilang araw bago umuwi.

I already told Reeve about my leaving. Inaya ko siya na sumama sa akin para mapakilala ko siya mga magulang ko but he declined. He needs to go back to New York because his parents called him. And just like me, he also needs to take care of his sister.

Speaking of his sister. I unexpectedly open that topic to him last time. He was shocked when I know his sister’s condition. Ask me about it, and I didn’t lie. I told him that his friends also unexpectedly stated it to me. I thought he would be mad about this because it was a sensitive topic, yet he didn’t. Instead, he talks it with me.

Today’s my last day here and tomorrow is the day of my leaving. We had only two weeks of sembreak, so I might as well enjoys my vacation there.

“I’m sorry if I can’t go with you tomorrow,” Reeve said. He clings his arms around my shoulder and softly caressed my hair. I rested my head on his shoulder as I tightly hugged the throw pillow I was holding.

This felts comforting.

“It’s okay. Your family also needs you, and you must prioritize them. Meeting with my parents can wait,” I assured him.

“Babawi ako, okay?”

I nodded and closed my eyes, feeling tired from what I have done today. We’re here at my apartment packing my clothes for tomorrow. Reeve helped me packed it kaya medyo naging magaan ang trabaho ko. Pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilang ‘di mapagod. Maybe because I sleep late last night because we talked over the phone for almost two hours…

Pero si Reeve ay parang may energy pa rin hindi man lang napagod sa ginawa namin ngayon. Not only we packed, but we also cleaned the whole apartment. Pero tanging pagwawalis lang ang nagawa ko. He was also the one who tidy up almost everything.

“I’ll take a nap first. Wake me up after 30 minutes,” I reminded him.

“Yes, my queen,” he replied.

“You don’t have a permanent call sign to me. Sometimes, you called me queen, and sometimes, you called me love. Which is which Reeve?” Pikit mata kong puna sa pagtawag niya sa akin.

“It’s both. Neve,” he simply replied.

“And why is that so?”

“You’re my queen, and at the same time, you’re also the one that I love. That’s why you deserve the title,” he explained.

I open my eyes and teased him again. “You’re corny.”

“Just sleep and rest, Neve your 30 minutes start now,” pag-iiba niya ng usapan kaya natawa ako.

Nagising ako dahil sa mabangong amay. I stretched my arms before following where that smell coming from and it lead me to my kitchen. There I saw Reeve cooking again. He skillfully lifted the pan and kaya nabaliktad niya ang hotcake.

“You cooked,” puna ko agad at tiningna siya habang nagluluto.

“You’re awake already? Wala pang 30 minutes ha.”

“Nagising ako sa amoy ng niluluto mo,” I confessed.

“Dahil wala pa naman ang baby natin ikaw na lang muna papakainin ko,” he joked.

“You’re still not over that baby thing Reeve?!”

He chuckled at my reaction as he lifted the pan again.

“Why? Don’t you want to have a ba—“ his words were cut off when his phone suddenly rings at the table.

“Can you answer the call for me?”

“Sure.”

I took his phone. My mood turned sour when I saw who’s the caller Id. It has been a month since the last time I saw her, and now she’s appearing again.

“It’s Joana,” walang ganang sabi ko.

“Answer for me,” he said dahil busy na ulit siya sa paglalagay ng hotcake sa pan.

An obedient girlfriend that I am, I answer the call, but I stay away from him and go back to the living room.

“Hello, Ky! Glad you answer the call. I’ve been calling you how many times already, yet you didn’t answer them,” she said on the other line.

I rolled my eyes kahit na hinid niya ako nakikita. Tumikhim ako at sinagot siya, “Hindi kasi interesado sa’yo kaya ‘di niya sinasagot ang tawag mo,” I bluntly stated.

“Who’s this?”

“The girlfriend of the man you’re calling.”

“Girlfriend? Ky doesn’t have a girlfriend. ‘Wag kang assuming,” may bahid na inis sa tono niya.

I couldn’t help but to laugh at her remarks. Assuming? Kailan pa ako naging assuming?

“Kung ayaw mong maniwala edi ‘wag. ‘Di kita pinipilit. Gotta end your call. Me and my boyfriend are kinda busy right now, so basically, you’re disturbing us,” pang-iinis ko pa.

“Is this you Henzy?!”

“Yes, my dearest sister.”

She scoffed. “Assuming ka nga talaga.”

“Baka ikaw assuming. We’re a couple now so… basically I am not assuming. Paano ako mag a-assume kung ako mismo ang sumagot ng tawag mo? Want to have a prof para malaman mo ang totoo? Stalk my Instagram, and you’d know the truth,” gigil kong sabi.

Tumikhim probably composing herself. “’Di bale, girlfriend ka pa lang naman ‘di pa asawa. Maagaw ko pa siya sa’yo. Oh… pati nga pala asawa naaagaw.”

“Then that means that you don’t have dignity in your soul. May girlfriend na may girlfriend ang tao aagawin mo? Ganyan na ba kabababa tingin mo sa sarili mo? Or…. Because your mom used to be like that kaya namana mo rin?”

“How dare you!” galit niyang wika

“Bye!”

Natawa ako sa reaction niya. Akala mo hindi kita papatulan? You take away my father before, but now I won’t let you take away Reeve from me. Even when you’ve gone mad, Joana. Never…ever..