"It's Lonch's birthday, Wave. I'm bored to go upstairs with my cousins so I decided to stay at the pool area. Lonch told me something while he's beside Magen. Hindi ko alam, his charisma want me to worship him! Ang gwapo at ang linis tingnan even the way he looked at me feels like I'm in danger. Nakakatakot siya tumingin but still... you know ewan," Kwento ko kay Wave habang pinupunasan ang screen ng laptop ko.
Nagvivideo call kami at nakapwesto ako sa veranda. Prenteng nakapatong ang laptop ko sa marmol na lamesa dito. We always like this if we have some free time. I saw how his brows furrowed while playing his lips. He looks expensive too! Tumayo ako saglit ang kinuha ang hair brush ko na nakapatong sa side table ng kama ko.
"He's not your type..." agad akong natigilan dahil sa mahinahon ngunit may pagtataka niyang boses. "Most of your exes are funny when you meet them." He added.
I sat again on my chair and brush my long hair. "Yes, that's why I can't understand too! You know I most prefer those funny and not serious guy because they can lighten up my day but Magen is different. I can't figure it out! When I saw him, I just realized that... oh! I like this guy," I honestly said while not taking of my stare at the screen.
He shrugged and nodded "Well, when you like or love someone. There's no barriers or boundaries. Pasok man sa standard mo o hindi... type mo man o hindi, when you fall then it's your battle to fight with..." I smiled widely. "Ikaw nga maldita ka minsan and that's not my type. Sometimes you are impolite but well, I know that you treat others the way they treated you," he smirked.
I rolled my eyes "Hindi ako maldita, Wave! I... I j-just you know, the s-slut matter---"
"Hey! Stop it, Puso. You're not a slut, okay? Alam ko kaya ka nagmamaldita sa iba para ipakita na malakas ka. Na... kaya mo silang harapin because you know who you are. Don't mind those insecures saying that word. Sadyang friendly ka lang and approachable. You don't want anyone to be left behind. You build a big wall of confidence that others can't destroy and the word slut is not a good word for anyone especially for girls,"
Napabuntong-hininga ako at pinalobo ang pisnge ko. Some of girls that know me are mad at me. They're accusing me to the things that I didn't understand. 'Yung mga boyfriend kasi raw nila ay hinaharot ko but I'm just talking with those guy because they keep on asking me some questions! Sometimes there's someone who's hitting on me but I already turned them down kasi alam kong may girlfriend na sila! I'm just being friendly but they keep telling me that I'm a flirt... I'm a slut! The hell?! I'm not born to snatch those in a relationship!
I pouted "I admit it, sometimes may pagkasharp ako magsalita and jinajudge ko agad 'yung iba without a filter. Katulad na lang ng mga nakakasama minsan ni Chave, Denver and Neejan. Sometimes I'm calling them a f-flirts..." napaiwas ako ng tingin dahil biglang nagsalubong ang kilay niya. "L-look, sinasabi ko lang 'yon minsan sa sarili ko! Not verbally but sometimes verbally because I can't help it they're stepping on the lines that a girls must not step with!" I defend myself but knowing Wave? Ah! Nevermind.
"Kahit na.. Ayusin mo 'yung gan'yang ugali mo! It's not good to you. Understand?" He raised his brows.
We talked some things pa. About the reason why he's busy. Siya na pala talaga ang gagawin na C.E.O ng company nila. Sila 'yung owner ng Hoffen Incorporation which is Car incorporatiom. The Hoffen is a famous car globally. They ranked as a 3rd in total brand ranking. Pawang mayayaman lang na tao ang nakakaaffored ng mga kotse na nilalabas ng Hoffen Inc. Kahit na gan'on kayaman sila Wave he still the same Wave that I knew. Parang wala lang sa kaniya 'yon. He's father is a wealthy person but Wave is also a bread winner in terms of supporting his younger sister. Sariling pera niya na galing sa pinaghirapan niya ang binibigay niya sa kapatid niya.
"Puso, sometimes please visit Manchy at her condo. Inform me if she's really fine. I'm damn worried busy I think she's stressing herself on her study," nag-aalalang pakiusap ni Wave.
"Your sister is always like that. You know she's a grades conscious kaya malamang naiistress 'yon but it's still normal for a teenager like her. If I do have a free time bibisitahin ko si Manchy..." I assured him.
"Thanks..." he sincerely said and I nodded.
Tatango-tango ang sinagot ko. Napakunot naman agad ang noo ko ng bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at bumungad si Chave na nakangisi wearing his simple white sando and basketball short.
"Get out..." simpleng taboy ko sa kaniya habang pinapanood si Wave na pumipirma ng kung ano-anong documents. "I'm not talking to you, Alon," pinangunahan ko na si Wave ng nag-angat ng tingin sa 'kin.
"Oh! Is that Wave? Anong oras na ha?! Video call parin? Wassup, Wave!" Chave looked at the screen and nodded at Wave.
"Don't talk to me, Chave. Nakakairita 'yang pagmumukha mo," walang prenong pagkakasabi ni Wave at binalik ang tingin sa mga documents.
"Wow ha?! Porket Hoffen Incorporation ranked number 3 gan'yan kana?!" Chabe tapped his chest.
"Get out, Chave. Nag-uusap kami ni Wave..."
Chave chuckled "Ikaw ang lumabas muna dito sa kwarto mo and eat dinner. I cooked something,"
My eyes widened and smiled at him. "Okay!" Tatango-tango kong binitbit ang laptop ko at dare-daretsong naglakad palabas ng kwarto. "Did you eat already, Wave?" I asked when I put my laptop on the dinning table.
"Maybe later, Puso. Wala akong gana pa. Just it there and drink a plenty of water after... got it?"
I nodded "Okay, don't worry about Manchy. Kapag nagkafree time ako pupuntahan ko siya. Your sister is a brave one so don't worry too much about her..."
He nodded, pinuwesto ko ng maayos ang laptop ko sa gilid na kung saan ay makikita ko parin siya. Hindi kami nagkakasawaan dahil minsan lang naman kami magkaoras mag-usap at magfacetime.
"Seriously, Heart and Wave? Kahit sa pagkain nakavideo-call parin? Ano magjowa lang? Ay gago 'di ako sure," Chave sarcastically said before drinking his cold water while rolling his eyes to me.
Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at nagsalin na lang ng kain sa plato. May mga kung ano-ano pa siyang sinabi tungkol sa pagbivideo call namin ni Wave. That me and Wave looks idiot and stupid.
"Kakain na lang, gan'yan pa? It's uncomfortable to me--"
"Can you please shut up, Chave?! Ang ingay-ingay mo. If it's uncomfortable for you then go back to your unit!" I hissed because of annoyance. "Kalalaking tao ang ingay-ingay! Stupid idiot!"
"Wow! Stupid brat! Plus idiot!" Tinakpan niya pa saglit ang bibig niya. "After all of this?! I cooked for you even I know you already knew how to cook! because you're a chef! Kahit na dahil sa katamaran mo ay nagpapanggap kang 'di marunong! I... I still cooked for you!"
"Ba't galit ka?! ha?! Why are you mad at me?!"
"Hindi ako galit! Nagpapaliwanag lang!"
"Weh?!"
"Weh... walang label!" He hissed.
"Hoy! Chave! Gago ka ha? Lugi ako d'on
, e!" Wave hissed.
"Ay gago 'di parin ako sure..." Chave fired him back.
I just rolled my eyes and continue eating. Chave also put on his plate some rice and adobo that he cooked. Yes, it taste good!
"Magen! Eat here!" Chave shouted reason why I stopped from eating.
What?! Tell me that Chave is kidding! I lifted my head at Chave. He smirked and rolled his eyes. He looked at my back reason why I look at it too.
"Omayghad!" I covered my mouth and stood up "M-magen, h-here seat here and eat..." I offered the chair beside me.
Bahagya siyang nakasandal sa fridge habang seryosong-seryoso ang mukha. Nakakrus pa ang braso niya sa harapan ng kaniyang dibdib. I don't know but I felt like my whole body wakeup! His dark eyes met my gray eyes. There's a spark that shock me! He licked his lower lips, sexily. My lips parted as he walked directly beside Chave and didn't intend to say hi to me?!
Napapahiya akong bumalik sa pagkakaupo. I looked at the screen of my laptop when I heard Wave chuckle.
"Hey, Magen? How are you? Still up to Phoebe?" Walang prenong tanong ni Wave.
Agad na sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Chave smirked filled my ears but the fast beating of my heart is the loudest one.
"I'm fine, Wave and yeah... still Phoebe," Magen answered without and doubness.
Wow! Did he know that I confessed my love for him?! That I do have also a feelings? Sabagay, wala rin akong karapatan. Kasi ako lang naman ang nakakaramdam nito and it's not his obligation to love me back!
Magen looked at me and I immediately avoid his gaze. It's terrying, pakiramdam ko mas madudurog ako kapag nilaban ko pa ang mga titig niya. His honest answer already hit me... sapat na muna 'yon!
"Tatag ha... you want to try my ex girlfriend? Ayan oh, si Puso. The best 'yan! Sarap magmahal," Wave proudly said.
Pakiramdam ko naman agad ay biglang namula ang buong mukha ko "Wave, stop it," Wave pouted and nodded. Kaya agad akong nakahinga ng maayos.
"If she's the best then why you both broke up?" Magen seriously said without any emotion on his face.
I looked at Chave but he just shrugged at me like. Me and Wave are obligated to answer his question.
"H-he needs to studied abroad..." i answered and bit my lower lips.
"It's not a valid reason," Magen said when I'm about to drink my water.
Wave chuckled "It is..."
"No, it's not because we're talking about love here. Kung mahal mo kahit ano 'yang dahilan ay mananatili kayong commited," Magen proudly said.
Agad kaming natahimik dahil sa seryosong pagkakasabi na 'yon ni Magen. Para bang may pinaghuhugutan siya.
"It's a valid reason, Magen. Love is not about staying commited sometimes you both need to let go each other hands. Kasi nga mahal namin ang isa't-isa. Magkalayo kami, we need to face the reality na kapag hindi kami nasa tabi or magkalapit ay may magbabago sa relasyon namin. We can't say na hindi kami magkakagusto sa iba habang wala ang isa because in the first place mouth is not the one who's deciding it's the heart. Kapag puso na ang nagdecide kahit madaya ay wala kang magagawa. That's why it's valid, ayaw namin maging unfair sa isa't-isa. He want me to find a guy who can stay beside me and love me the way he loved me. I also want him to find someone who can stay beside him and love him the way I do...."
"Wow! Ang matured ha! Parang hindi spoiled brat..." and then Chave laughed.
Magen stare directly at my eyes. His cold expression wrapped my whole system. Bahagya pa siyang nagtiim-bagang at umiwas ng tingin. He can't find a words reason why he just nodded like he doesn't care at all. Bakit ba ang hirap-hirap niyang paamuhin?
"Balik kana sa 'kin, Puso..." Wave's voice changed.
It's serious one, I swallowed hard and before giving him a glance. Wave is directly looking at the screen so I felt like he's definitely staring at me.
"Eat, Heart..." Magen huskily and seriously said before pushing a bit my plates.
I look at Magen with a curious expression but he didn't look at me. He's just give Wave's a quick glance before continuing to eat. Pinagmasdan ko ang bawat galaw niya. His jaw moving because of he is chewing his food. He stop chewing and lifted his head at me.
My eyes widened when I look away. I look back at Wave who is now busy on his paper works. Is he joking? Right? I wished he is! Kasi ngayon I can't answer him. I can't assure that my answer will not dissappoint him.
"I said eat..." Magen seriously command while glaring at me.
I swallowed hard and nodded because his glare is very intimidating. "Why are you here?" I ask him.
He lifted his head and look quickly at me before going back to eat "Chave told me to come here. Kaya pumunta ako," he answered honestly.
I pouted, Napatingin pa ako bahagya kay Chave. He just shrugged and drink his cold water.
"Heart, I need to end this call. Kumain ka ng marami and about Manchy... please give me an update..." Nag-aalalang sabi ni Wave.
I nodded as a quick response "Yes, If I have a free time then I'll visit her. So, stop worrying..."
"Good," he nodded. "Alright bye, love you..." and then he hang up.
I just took a deep breath and continue eating.
"Naks, may pabaon pa si Wave na pagmamahal ha..." Chave loudly teased.
Hindi ko na siya pinansin at nakayuko na lang akong kumain. I don't want to argue with him infront of Magen so I better shut up.
"Kung ako 'yon then I'll chat him and say it back..." he added.
Inis kong binagsak sa lamesa ang dinner spoon and pork before giving my cousin a death glare.
"Can you please shut up?" I annoyed said.
He shook his head "Ayaw ko nga,"
"Get out!" I pointed my door while gritting my teeth.
Nakakairita!
"Hell no, I cooked for you then you are asking me to get out? Where is your manner?" He mocked.
I closed my eyes because of annoyance.
"Just get out, Bro..." Magen seriously said at glare at my cousin.
My cousin just rolled his eyes "Pasalamat kayo tapos na ako kumain! Tsk, This will be the last of me being your damn chef..." and he walked out like a cried baby!
Bahagya tuloy ako naguilty. Well, nevermind! Nakakainis naman kasi siya e. He keeps on talking something!
I just continue eating and while chewing my food. I steal a gaze from Magen. He looks like he doesn't care about anyone. Parang siya lang ang tao sa mundo at kung mayro'n man ay wala siyang pakialam.
"Hi..." I greeted.
He lifted his head and I saw how his jaw clenched before grabbing a cold water.
"Don't talk to me..." he said with horror.
"Why?!" I asked with disbelief.
He glare at me, nakakatakot! "You told me you're not going outside yesterday," seryosong sabi niya.
"E, inaya ako ni Lami. I didn't intend to lie," I defended.
"Yeah... whatever," he rolled his eyes and continue eating.
"Nililigawan mo parin si Phoebe?" I asked reason why he stopped eating and looked directly at my eyes. I swallowed hard and avoided his gaze. The pumping of my heart is too loud!
Narinig ko pa ang pagtikhim niya "It's none of your business..."
"But I want to know..." I immediately said. He didn't respond! He acted like he doesn't hear anything! Napaka!
"Hey, you can court me if you want. Hindi ako papalag. Just tell me that you're going to court me then I'll answer immediately..." I tried my luck. Bahagya siyang nagtiim bagang at padabog na binaba ang kutsara at seryoso akong tiningnan. I immediately felt the butterflies inside my stomach that went crazy!
"Gagawin ko lahat para lang magustuhan mo, Magen. I already buy the clothes that looks formal and not showing too much skin," I added almost begging.
"Can you please---"
I cut his words "Just let me, okay?!" I begged.
Inis niyang ginulo ang kaniyang buhok bago tumingala. The way his adams apple moved looks hot to him. "Ayaw kitang paasahin, Heart! Stop this nonsense!" He shouted with horror and stood up because of annoyance.
"I want!"
"Heart!" He shouted with horror.
"I heart you!" Malanding sabi ko bago siya kindatan.
"Disgusting!" He shouted and pointed me using his index finger. Disgusting?! Me?! Is he serious?!
"I'm not! Look, Magen. Let's just try I can be your girlfriend while you're courting Phoebe. Handa akong magpagamit, Magen. We can break up if Phoebe already answer yes to you..."
His lips parted because of what I said "Sinasabi mo bang maging two-timer ako?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Stop it!"
"Gusto nga kita jowain!" I shouted honestly. Bahagya siyang natigilan at tinitigan ako. It feels uncomfortable that's why I looked away.
"Are you insane?!" He asked with full of irritation.
"I'm just inlove!" I defend.
"For pete's sake, Heart. You are begging for love!" He crossed his arm over his chest. Nakita ko pa ang pagtaas at baba ng dibdib niya dahil sa malakas na pagsigaw.
"Because I want to be love! By you! I want to be love by you, Magen. So, please... let's try..." I begged while playing my fingers. My chest feels so heavy. I'm begging for his love because I really want him. Gusto ko siya...gustong-gusto ko talaga siya.
I'm willing to beg. I'm willing to hide the pains, tears and the sadness just for him. Even I know that in the first place there is no enough space or room inside his heart for me. I'm willing to settle on his fake attentions. I'm willing to be hurt and heal alone. I'm willing to love him even that love sting the most. Kasi nga mahal ko... at kapag mahal mo talaga ang isang tao. Kahit walang assurance ay mamahalin mo parin siya. Kasi nga do'n ka masaya.
"You can have me secretly. Wala akong pagsasabihan--"
"You want yourself to be my secret girlfriend?" He asked while his brows is furrowing.
I nodded and gave him a wide smile. "Yes! You can break up with me if Phoebe loves you back!"
"Are you insane?" Seryosong tanong niya na nagpakalabog ng todo sa dibdib ko. "I'm not going down and be a cheater just for you, Heart..." he looked seriously at me. "Cheating is not right! You are inlove with me?! Then just love me! You can't force anyone to love you back, Heart. Just stay inlove to me if you did! Don't be a monster just because you love me!" His loud voice roar inside my unit kaya napayuko ako.
Hindi ako nakasagot dahil parang biglang sumikip ang dibdib. I just love him! Ano bang masama do'n? Gusto ko lang naman na mahalin niya. Why is it too hard? I want to be with him because I know I will be happy beside him but why?... bakit ang hirap hirap?
Unrequitted love really sucks?
It's too painful to the point that I can't do anything! Inis kong pinunasan ang mukha ko dahil basang-basa na pala ng luha. My shoulder is now shaking... turning upside down so I tried to calm myself but my body didn't want!
"Stop crying!" His voice thundered.
I just can't help it! Ang heartless mo talaga! Hindi ako nakinig sa kaniya. My tears is now rolling on my cheeks like there's no tommorrow.
"I said stop crying!"
I bit my lower lips and tried to calm myself. He's now mad! I don't want him to be mad at me!
"Alright! Just a fucking months, Heart." He irritatedly said and walked out.
My lips parted as I watched my door shut. Did he said what? Wait?! Magen is now my boyfriend?! Is this for real?!
"Omyghad!" Napatayo akong natakpan ang bibig.
Pinilit ko siya! But it's not matter! Boyfriend kona si Magen!