I'm really inlove with Magen and I can't deny it. I was hurt by loving him and I'm aware with that but still I'm hoping that this love turn into wonderful privileges. I hope that this love will lead me to a serene path. Kung saan ay tahimik at maayos. Kung saan walang pag-iyak at pagluha. Kung saan walang nakakapagod at nagpapapagod.
I love him and I'm still willing to take the risk by loving him. Loving someone looks like choosing a color that you want to mixed with another one. For me, love is like a white color in palette. Once we look at it because of our own judgement or own sided then it's hard to figure out the essential of it but when we look at the both side or another judgement then we will find that it's not useless. Na... ah, mahalaga rin pala 'to. Color white, we thought it just useless or not capable on giving us benefit but in another way it was very important because that was the one who makes everything beautiful.
Sa pagmamahal kapag tayo ay nasasaktan we will always find a way to cover that pain. For me, kapag nagmahal ka dadating ka talaga sa point na manghihina at masasaktan ka but I believe that this pain is not useless. Na itong sakit na nararamdaman ko sa ngayon ay magtutulak rin sa akin para sa isang magandang chapter ng buhay ko.
This love will help me to find the beautiful shadow cast by my tears because love is not just get to grips with the survival value but it is about seeking for the value for survival.
"Ate Heart?!" I heard Manchy shouted.
She was shocked looking at me leaning on the wall of her condo. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no ako nakapunta dito dahil lutang na lutang ako. I didn't inform her since my phone is with Magen. I don't if I still have the right to go back there. Baka makaabala lang ako sa kanila. It looks like Magen is having a good time.
"Hindi ako nainform, Ate!" She hissed while grabbing my arm.
Pinapasok niya ako sa loob at pinaupo sa couch. I didn't say a words, I just stare on her granite coffee table. It has many bondpaper and highlighter. She is studying again.
"Wave told me to visit you. So, I'm here... please don't stress yourself too much. Sometimes, take a break and enjoy being a teenager, Manchy." I said seriously.
I put my small bag on my side and held tightly the couch pillow. She stare at me so I stare back. Ngayon ko lang napansin ang suot niya. She is wearing a simple light pink terno pajama. Her hair got shorter, below her shoulder. She looks beautiful too with her innocent face.
"Umiyak ka, Ate?" She asked using her worried voice.
I didn't respond to her question. It's a signal for her to do not ask another question because I'm not in my mood. Manchy knows me too... When me and Wave still in a relationship we often stay here at Manchy's condo. Tsaka lang talaga kami naging close ni Manchy ng maging kami ni Wave. Well, nung magkaibigan palang kami ni Wave ay nagkakausap na kami pero hindi kami totally close.
Manchy is the one who witnessed the love story of me and Wave. She was aware about our almost perfect relationship. Mahirap rin kung iisipin kasi... walang nagloko sa 'min, walang nafall out of love, walang may kasalanan. Hindi ako nagkulang... hindi siya nagkulang... walang nagkulang pero kailangan parin tapusin.
"Pwede ka mag-open up sa 'kin, Ate." Manchy said while holding her color pink highlighter and highlighted something on her paper.
I swallowed hard, I shook my head when she looked at me. I don't want... ayaw ko. Hindi dahil sa nahihiya ako. Ayaw ko dahil ayaw kong makaabala. I don't want others to think about my problems instead of them. I'm not good at sharing my problems with others. Pakiramdam ko pabigat lang ako. Kaya imbes na sabihin sa iba ay kinikimkim ko na lang. Tutal ako naman ang may problema dapat ako nalang rin ang mamoblema.
"Can I borrow your phone?" I asked her. Her brows furrowed "Someone borrowed mine..." I explained so she won't ask anymore.
She nodded and stood up "Wala akong pantext..." kumamot pa siya sa ulo niya. "May wifi naman kasi. I don't need to text or call someone. Pero kung need mo ay magpapaload ako sa 711 ngayon, Ate. Nasa kanto lang naman at isang sakayan lang..." she said shyly.
I pouted and smiled at her with assurance "It's fine, no need. I can use my social media accounts. I need to chat Hailey or Chave they didn't know that I'm here at Cavite." I explained calmly.
Well, my cousins always go at my unit and pester me. Baka biglang may isa sa kanila ang pumunta sa unit ko at hanapin ako. Ngayon wala pa sa 'kin ang phone ko. I thanked Manchy when she let me borrowed her phone. The phone didn't have a lock or password to be needed. I just need to swipe it sideward. She has a color pink plain wallpaper. She doesn't have a apps of Instagram or even twitter! How can a girl like her exist? So, I need to install it fiorst. I didn't bother to ask for her permission because she is serious reading something. I'll delete it after.
@iHeart
I'm here at Cavite. Inform Chave, maybe he is wondering.
@Heyyyley
Walang nagtanong.
I rolled my eyes, Okay.. Hailey is not in a good mood. I stood up and face the beautiful sunlight. I held the curtain a bit and smile. The trees are dancing and swaying with the wind. I looked at Manchy's phone when it vibrated. Someone texted but I didn't bother to open it. Tiningnan ko ang ang mga nagcomment sa huling post ko.
Neejannanaman Another victim ba 'yan, Cous?
Cheyb It looks familiar! Who the hell is that Heart? @Alon may bago na bebe mo.
I pouted when I saw Wave's reply
Alon tangina mo, @Cheyb. By the way love you, Puso. Support kita! Mwuah, kiss nalang kita.
Denden Face reveal! Tingnan natin sino mas gwapo sa 'ming dalawa!
Lami replied to Denver
itsme_Lamilavs Cous, don't demand for it. Ayaw kong nasasaktan ka!
Denden @itsme_Lamilavs Pangit ng ugali mo!
itsme_Lamilavs Pangit ka rin kasi, @Denden.
4Sele Name drop!
Denver replied to Sele
Denden @4Sele Mama mo name drop.
4Sele Idiot! Magkapatid tayo!
Denden Ay HAHAHAHA oo nga pala.
Heyyyley Ganda ng pagkuha ng picture! @Lawnchhh I want this kind of shot, love.
Lawnchhh I'll practice that kind of shot, Baby.
Heyyyley Aww, okay.
Lawnchhh I love you
Heyyyley I love you too!
I rolled my eyes again. Wow ha? sa comment section pa talaga ng post ko nagharutan? Where's the respect?!
I almost got a thousand likes and hundred comments asking who is he! Wow, kung alam niyo lang kung ga'no ko kagusto na ipangalandakan na si Magen 'yon ay hindi ko magawa!
"Manchy, can you take a picture of mine for a while? Nakaside view ako habang nakatingin dito sa laba..." I pouted while pointed the glass window.
She nodded and stood up "Sure!" kinuha niya agad sa 'kin ang cellphone niya.
I smiled widely, hinawakan ko pa saglit ang kulay puting curtain.
"Dapat may effects effects e. Wait, buksan ko 'tong electric fan!" she energetically said and turned the electric fan on.
Napapikit ako ng tumama ang malakas na hangin sa mukha ko. The curtain and my hair are now dancing because of the air coming from electric fan. I leaned my head on the glass door while smiling a bit. I nodded at Manchy and it's a signal. She place the camera of her phone infront of me. She took a picture of mine for many times. Different pose.
"Post mo 'to, Ate." she said while pointing my picture using her right index finger.
In picture, I was staring at the clouds, deeply. My pointed nose highlighted because of my side profile. Nakaside view kasi ako, my long eye lashes is attractive too also my brows. My lips is kinda parted while my hair swayed like the curtain.
I was about to say something to Manchy when the name of Magen popped up on notification bar.
It shows.
@DawnVf Heart, Where are you? Please, go back here.
My eyes widened when Manchy gave me her phone and acted like she doesn't read anything. I swallowed hard and ignored it. I swiped it to the right so it will disappear. Sana gano'n lang kadali 'no? Kapag nasasaktan ka iswiped mo lang ang kung anong bagay 'tas mawawala na rin.
I posted my picture and put a emoji of cloud as a caption. Marami na agad ang naglike at nagcomments complimenting me and asking me for a date! Just wow!
@DawnVf Hey, go back here.
I sighed while looking at his message. Hindi ko pa kaya na harapin siya. The image of him ang my cousin making out makes me weak. Hindi ko alam if mapipigilan ko ba ang luha ko kapag siya ang kaharap ko.
@DawnVf Ignoring me, huh?
Ilang beses pa akong nagpakawala ng malalim na pagbuntong-hininga bago mapagpasyahan na replyan siya. I sat on the couch and tried myself to calm down. Bigla nalang kasi akong kinabahan. Imagine his cold and deadly glare at me when he doesn't like what I did!
@iHeart I'm staying here at Cavite for awhile. I'm going to stay here at my friend's condo.
Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko habang pinapanood ang tatlong tuldok na nagawa. It's the sign that he's typing.
@DawnVf Where?
My brows furrowed, he didn't need to know!
@iHeart Cavite
@DawnVf Where in Cavite? Pupuntahan kita.
Bigla akong naalarma sa message niya. Why?! He will scold me here?!
@iHeart No need.
@DawnVf Are you mad at me?
Hindi na ako nagreply. Instead, I logged out my account and uninstall instagram. I don't want him to know that I'm mad because of what I saw. Kasi nga... I don't have the courage to tell him. Baka kasi mawala ako sa ulirat. I'm not good at explaining myself. I told Manchy that I'm going to stay here at her Condo. She has a extra room since Wave sometimes slept here when he's in Philippines. He wants to spend most his time with me and his sister than spending night with some random girls.
I roamed my gaze at Wave's room. It was a simple one, color white and black. I saw the picture frame hanging on the wall. It was me, Manchy and Wave. Nasa gitna ako habang nakayakap silang dalawa sa baywang ko. I was smiling like I reached the sky! I missed the old times already. Birthday 'to ni Manchy and we decided na magpicnic na lang.
"Ate Heart!" Manchy shouted.
My eyes widened, agad akong lumabas ng kwarto at hinanap kung nasa'n si Manchy. Then I saw her papers on the floor. She was holding a bloody guy! The blood is drifting on the floor like it was just a faucet. The guy is wearing a white long sleeve folded into his elbow and a black clack. Hindi na mukhang kulay puti ang damit niya dahil sa dugo na kumalat.
"A-ate, nasaksak ata s-siya..." nangangatog na sabi ni Manchy.
I ran towards her, I held the guy arm and slowly put him on the floor. "Call an ambulance, Manchy! Stop being scared because we need to save this guy!" I shouted. Pakiramdam ko ay lalabas na ang ugat ko sa leeg dahil sa malakas na sigaw.
"Poena..." the guy whispered.
My lips parted when I saw who is it. He looks pale and dizzy! It means the flowing of his blood inside his body is now abnormal! This is dangerous for him! I looked for a clean cloth or anything but I can't see anything! Isa na lang ang naging paraan ko. I immediately take off my white clothes. Agad kong tinupi at tinakip sa tagiliran niya kung saan siya nasaksak para mapigilan ang patuloy na pagdugo.
"Hold this for awhile, Hanz!" I shouted worriedly.
I swallowed hard, Pinahawak ko sa kaniya ang damit ko na nakatapat parin sa sugat niya. Agad akong tumakbo sa couch at kinuha ang mga unan. I put it on his legs so the blood will flow in his heart and brain. I looked at Manchy, she is talking at her phone while she's watching what I did! Hinawakan ko agad ang tela at pinakatitigan ang dugo na kumulay na rin dito.
"Hanz! Wake up! Don't sleep! Padating na ang ambulance!" I shouted when he was about to close his eyes.
Hanzel is my ex-boyfriend, he is the one who cheated but even with that circumstances. I still care for him! He gives me a good time and memories with him. Kahit naman ibang tao 'to ay tutulungan ko parin.
"S-someone s-stabbed---" he tried to explained but I cutted his words.
"Shut the hell up, Hanz. Don't say anything and save your energy..." I almost begged.
Hinawi ko agad ang mahaba niyang buhok na humaharang sa mata niya. He is sweating like a bullets while staring at me. I bit my lower lips when he tried to smile. No please...
"A-ate, Heart... padating na daw sila. Nasa ground floor na..." Manchy said.
I nodded and smile at Hanzel "You heard it, right? The ambulance is on their way here. So, don't close your eyes and be strong!"
I want to ask him many question. Why he's bleeding to much? Why he got stabbed? Why he looks weak right now?! Why he looks miserable? Why someone tried to kill him? Why Hanzel? Why my ex-boyfriend? and what the hell he's here at Cavite?! I want to ask him but I stopped myself. I need to prioritize his safety than my curiosity! He must be safe.
"Padating na sila, Ate. Suotin mo muna 'to..." Manchy hand me a black shirt.
I nodded and wear it immediately. Kitang-kita ko kung pa'no nanginig ang kamay niya.
"Don't be scared, he will be safe." I assured her.
She nodded at me before giving Hanzel a quick glance.
"One... two... three!" The parademics counted when they was about to transfer Hanzel on stretcher.
They even put the mask to the demand valve and check Hanzel's condition. May mga kung ano-ano pa silang ginawa. I go back to the couch and get my small bag. Agad akong sumunod sa mga paramedics na tulak tulak ang stretcher kung saan nakahiga si Hanzel. Hindi ko na nagawang balingan si Manchy.
"Is he going to be fine?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko ng makalabas kami ng elevator.
All of them look at me that makes me worried "Marami siyang naubos na dugo," Tanging sabi ng isa bago iangat ang stretcher at pinasok sa ambulansya.
"Sumama kana ma'am," One of them said.
I nodded and sat on the side of one paramedics. Hindi ko matukoy ang mga pinagagawa nila but one thing I knew they're doing their best. Napatitig ako kay Hanzel, he's staring at me. My brows furrowed when he still manage to winked at me! Mabilis naman kaming nakadating sa Hospital.
I want to scream out loud at Hanzel when he closed his eyes. Why now? Nandito na kami sa Hospital ngayon pa siya pumikit?!
"Nasaksak siya sa right abdomen,"
"Blood pressure 80 over 40,"
"Pulsation, 140 per minutes,"
"Maraming dugo na ang nawawala,"
"This maybe because of intracranial hemorrhage or cerebral hemorrhage. Prepare the OR!" The doctor shouted while following the stretcher where Hanzel is lying in.
They immediately assist Hanzel's condition. I was now sitting on waiting area. I stare at my hands, full of Hanzel's blood. Hindi ako makagalaw habang tinitigan ang ibang marka na natuyo na. Some of people passing by, looked curious. Hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses akong napalunok. My knee is now weak while watching my shaking hands.
My chest pound so fast. What if Hanzel's condition is bad?! What if he's unstable?! No!it can't be! He was a strong one! He can survive with this! He will! He needs to survive!
Napatayo ako ng biglang lumabas ang doctor galing sa operating room. "Is he stable?" I asked the doctor.
He fixed his Hospital gown before giving me a glance. It looks like he's older than me for about a years.
He nodded "Stable na siya ngayon, we just need to conduct a diagnostic test and CT Scan to make sure his condition.Sa ngayon ay tumigil na ang pagdudugo at natahi na ang sugat niya. Wala namang organs ang natamaan at naapektuhan ng malala sadyang marami lang ang naubos na dugo," the doctor explained.
"So, he need to do a blood transfer? Ayos na po ba? Nasalinan na po siya ng dugo?" I asked panicked.
He nodded and smiled at me "Yes, Ayos na.. he will be transfer in recovery room. So, excuse me..." he said and walked away.
Agad akong nagpakawala ng malalim na pagbuntong-hininga dahil sa sinabi niya. I closed my eyes because of relief. Bumalik ako sa pagkakaupo, I rubbed my hands together to calm myself.
"Why he's still unconscious?" I asked worriedly the nurse when I entered the recovery room.
She smiled at me "Mga 1 to 2 hours pa po bago siya magising. May tinurok po kasi sa kaniyang anesthesia kaya hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa siya nagigising pero h'wag ka po mag-alala dahil safe na po siya..." She explained so I nodded.
I immediately looked at his phone on the top of mini cabinet on the side. Dito kasi nilagay ang mga gamit niya. His phone is ringing so I stepped forward to answer the call.
"Son, where are you?!" Tita Cookie asked worriedly, She is Hanzel's mother.
"Tita... this is Heart, H-hanzel is in Hospital but you don't need to worry because he's safe now,"
"W-what?! W-where?! Saang hospital, Heart?!"
I immediately told her the exact address of hospital. She hanged up and thanked me. I waited for her about 20 minutes because she arrived here with Tito Ysmael, Hanzel's dad.
"What happened?! Omyghad, My dear son," mangiyak-ngiyak na saad ni Tita.
She rans towards Hanzel. Tita is wearing a simple white dress and skin tone sandals while holding tightly her purse. I looked at tito, nakatuxedo siya na kulay itim. He gave me a small smile and tapped my shoulder.
"I was staying in my friend's condo. Then my friend shouted and I saw her holding Hanzel. I think Hanzel ask for help. He was lucky, Tita and Tito. I didn't ask him why he got stabbed because it can be dangerous. Nahirapan na kasi siya kaya hindi ko na pinagsalita. The doctor told me that he is now stable. They already stop the bleeding. He lost too much blood but the doctor already settle the surgery. After 1 to 2 hours he will wake up according to the nurse..." I explained while playing my fingers.
They both nodded, Tita looked at me with her teary eyes. "Thank you, Ija..." I just nodded, I sighed bago umatras patagilid. "Ysma, Buy us food. Heart, What do you want to eat? We will transfer Hanzel to the VIP Room..."
"I'm fine, Tita. I need to go back to my friend's condo," I reason out and gave her a small smile.
I don't want anymore to stay here. Baka kasi hinahanap narin ako ni Manchy. She looks scared! Well, Tita and Tito is very kind towards me. Actually favorite daw ako nilang dalawa sa lahat ng mga naging girlfriend ni Hanzel. I have the personality that they didn't think I have. Lagi naman kasi akong napagkakamalan na maldita at parang laging may hanap ng gulo but it just my aura, a fierce one.
"Let's take a photo first. Ysma, sumama ka," Tita said and place the camera of her phone.
Hinawakan niya pa ako sa braso para mapagitnaan nila akong dalawa. I looked at our reflection. I smiled widely and pose a peace sign. Tito is pointing me using his left index finger while his mouth is forming a big "O" Tita pinched my left cheeks using his left index and thumb fingers. We took many pictures with different poses.
"I posted it on instagram" Tita smiled while looking the screen of her phone "I tagged you," she inform me so I nodded and smiled at me. "Oh? You already have a boyfriend?" She asked curiously while her brows is furrowing.
"Ah the picture---"
She shook her head "No.. no, he untagged my post!"
My eyes widened "Po?" Naguguluhan kong tanong.
She pouted "I think he's jealous! I'm sorry if I make your boyfriend jealous!"
Naguguluhan akong tumingin sa kaniya. I looked at Tito Ysmael too. He just shrugged his shoulder.
"I think you're mistaken, Tita."
"No, he really untagged you to my post. I make sure na nakatag ka kaya!"
How? Magen? No one knows my account and for sure I save it on my phone. I never log out my accounts on my phone! He untagged?! Why?! No, Magen will never do that!
"Here! He message me using your account! Read it, omg!" Tita laughed and covered her mouth.
I swallowed hard and read his message using my account.
@iHeart
Hello, I'm Heart's boyfriend and with due of respect please change your caption because it's kinda offensive. Thank you and Godbless!
My eyes widened, agad kong tiningnan ang caption ni Tita. 'My son's beautiful ex-girlfriend. Looking forward for another chance to the both of them. Omg! My ship!'