It was as if I was in a vast and quiet forest and his words echoed around me as if deafening. I did not let go of his scorching stares at me. He slowly remove my eyeglasses. I caught all his blistering gaze even though my confused heart was pounding.
"M-magen..." mahinang tawag ko sa kaniya bago mag-iwas ng tingin.
My knees are still shaking even though I am sitting here at his desk. His two hands were on both sides of me so he cornered me. I will admit that I cannot think too much because his face is too close to me. He planted again a kissed on my forehead.
I felt his lips so soft that it feels like a marshmallow. "Honey..." he whispered again before facing me with a smile on his face "As time went on I felt more and more interested in you ..." my eyes widened in shock "Habang tumatagal parang rumurupok 'yung... heart button ko," he chuckled "Kaya lalo akong natatakot," umiwas siya ng tingin bago umayos ng pagkakatayo.
Pinanood ko siya na prenteng nakatayo habang dahan-dahan na pinapasok sa kaniyang magkabilang bulsa ang parehong kamay. The way he stood up is very charismatic. He looks like a model!
"Baba kana d'yan. You want to replay it?" He mocked while smirking attractively.
Napabalikwas ako ng tayo dahil bahagya akong nahiya sa sinabi niya. How can he scare me with those words?! I mean, it's not scary! For sure I'm going to enjoy it! I already enjoyed it! But... I need to be Maria Clara for now. Dapat mahinhin muna ako ng very slight.
"I-is it too much if I ask you about your family matters?" Alanganin kong tanong bago sumandal sa lamesa niya.
He stood up properly and stare at me "What matter?" He seriously asked before leaning too on his table.
Bumaling ako sa gilid ko kung nasaan siya. "Mint told me some info---"
"Oh..." he chuckled, para bang papatayin na niya si Mint sa isip niya.
"If masyadong out of the line na or it's too much to ask then it's fine. No worries about it," tipid akong ngumiti habang tinititigan siya.
Nakikita ko sa mga maamo niyang mata ang pag-iingat para bang may gusto siyang sabihin pero may pumipigil sa kaniya.
"Nahihirapan ako sabihin 'to sa iba," nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Sobrang hirap," binalik niya ang tingin sa akin. "But I know that this secret will be safe if I tell you,"
Napalunok akong kumurap-kurap. He will trust me? Of course his secret is safe with me!
"If I tell you this, I'm sure that you will never tell anyone about this because you know the word 'boundaries' that's why..." he stopped and stare at me. "I'm going to tell you,"
I nodded awkwardly, hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang mga salita na sasabihin ko sa kaniya.
"Matanda ako ng ilang taon kay Mint. There are times when my parents fight. I wish the financial problem was the only problem but the problem was the worst part. My father had an affair with another woman," tumingala siya na para bang pinipigilan ang luha. "Tangina lang..." huminto ulit siya bago bumuntong-hininga. "Nakita ko... kitang-kita ko 'yung pag-iyak ng Mom ko everytime my Dad's defending his mistress,"
Napakagat ako sa labi ko bago mag-iwas ng tingin. Nakita ko pa kung paano kumuyom ang parehas niyang mga kamao.
"Sobrang... sobrang nakakapanghina. Parang lahat ng luha ni Mom hinihila ako pababa," he tried to smile, fakely.
I just watched his sadness expression.
"There's a time when my Mom committed s-suicide," his voice cracked. "Her bloods on the floor, messy hair, tired face, and wrist that full of wounds. H-hindi... hindi 'yon n-nawala sa isip ko..."
He stopped again, right now he stare at me and smiled like he was comforting me instead comforting himself. Para bang sinasabi niya na ayos lang at h'wag ako mag-alala dahil nga ayos lang.
"Ang hirap kasi sa part k-ko," pumiyok siya, nakita ko rin ang pangingilid ng luha sa kaniyang mga mata. "Dad must stay beside my Mom. He is the one that my Mom can lean on but instead of offering his shoulder to my Mom he offered it for someone else," tipid siyang ngumiti at pinadausdos ang kaniyang daliri sa buhok.
"Do I look like your Dad's m-mistress?"
He immediately shook his head "Hindi..." he stopped and looked away. "P-pero... kung ugali ang pag-uusapan at ang fashion style ay hindi kayo nagkakalayo. The way she wore a clothes is very revealing like... you," he chuckled. "She is very similar to you. Sorry if I will offend you but I c-can see her to you,"
Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Agad naman siyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.
"Is that the reason why you hate me?"
He stare at me "Kailan ko sinabi sa 'yo 'yan? I just told you that I don't like you I didn't say that I hate you,"
Umiwas ako ng tingin dahil sa sinabi niya. Hindi na ako masyadong makahanap ng mga salita na sasabihin sa kaniya. Knowing his situation.
"Does your Dad and his mistress still talking to each other?" usisa ko.
Umiling naman agad siya "Hindi na at ilang taon na rin ang nakakalipas since they stopped hanging out because my Dad figured out that I know about it. He was sorry and he didn't explain. That is why it's already carve in my mind. Kahit anong gawin kong pagkalimot. I really can't,"
"Why he didn't explain? He must---"
"Yeah, he must. For the passed years, I want to ask him why? what happened? but instead of having the courage... the hatred controlled me,"
"You told me that it's already happened in past. Do you still remember her face? her name?" Curious kong tanong.
"I remembered clearly her face but her name? Hindi ko alam dahil hindi ko naman siya nakausap," seryosong sagot niya.
Tipid akong ngumiti "What if one time you will see her? Ano'ng gagawin mo?"
He chuckled irritatedly "Hindi ko alam dahil taon lang ang lumipas pero 'yung marka na iniwan nila. Hindi mawawala 'yon. It feels like I was stepping on my grave that time and my Mom holding me tighter," he even gritted his teeth.
Para bang nagpipigil siya na malabas ang kaniyang mga galit. I saw how his fist closed tighter. It looks like he was ready to punch something.
"That's why you don't like the way I dress?" I raised my brows as I avoided his serious gaze.
So, there's a reson why. Kaya pala parang laging masama ang tingin niya sa akin. He can see his dad's mistress.
"Yes because you remind me of her,"
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya na mukhang bigla niya naman nahalata dahil tumikhim siya.
"I want to be honest with you. Gusto ko si Phoebe. She was there when I need someone that time. He knows what Dad did to my Mom. Kaya siguro nahulog ako sa kaniya? Wait, kaya ko siya nagustuhan but I can't say that I love her because there's a part of me saying that I'm just attached," he retored honestly.
Tipid akong ngumiti at alam kong ‘yung tipid na ‘yon ay peke.
Phoebe
Phoebe is his zone.
"Gusto ko siya pero sa t'wing kasama ko siya ikaw ang naaalala ko. Sa t'wing kasama naman kita. Ikaw parin ang inaalala ko," nanlaki ang mata ko at gulat na binalingan siya ng tingin.
My chest and heart went crazy. I felt like I was melting while catching his pleaded gaze.
"Kaya nalilito ako kung sino ba talaga ang gusto ko. Hindi kita pinapaasa, I was mad to myself too because I can't find the real answer," he stopped and licked his lips while staring at me, intensely. "Gusto kita layuan dahil bumabalik ‘yung alaala nung kabit ni Dad. I know, wala kang kasalanan pero hindi ko talaga mapigilan ‘yung tumatakbo sa isip ko. Hin--"
"I understand, Magen. Hindi mo kailangan magpaliwanag because I really understand. Don't worry I change---"
"No," mabilis niyang pigil sa akin. "I was mad to myself by thinking non-sense about you. Ibalik mo, Heart. Gawin mo... suotin mo lahat ng gusto mo. I'm not stopping you," he stare at me with full of assurance.
I bit my lower lips and played my fingers as avoided his gaze that weakened me.
"Ayaw ko maalala mo---"
"Let me handle it. Just do whatever you want. Don't stop yourself because of what my perception is,"
"I don't want to give you a hard time, Magen. It's really fine,"
He stare at me "No, It's not,"
"Magen---"
"Heart naman, I said do whatever you want. H’wag ako ang alalahanin mo. Hindi naman ako magagalit,"
Pinakatitigan ko ang mga mata niya na nangungusap na para bang nagmamakaawa na siya sa akin na tigilan na ang pinagtatalunan namin. I just nodded, It's true that I don't want to make it hard for him but if he keeps on pushing my button the okay.
He stood up properly "Bagay sa ‘yo ang scrunchie. Lalo ka gumanda kapag nakaipit ang buhok mo," naramdaman ko naman agad ang pamumula ng pisnge ko "What color of scrunchie do you prefer? Baka may madaanan ako sa mall so I can buy the color you most prefer," he sat on the couch without taking off his attractive stare on me.
Napatitig rin ako sa kaniya "Bibilhan mo ako?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko bago maglakad palapit sa swivel chair niya.
Agad kong pinaypayan ang sarili ko para pilit na pakalmahin ang namumula kong pisnge. He raised his brows when he noticed what I did. He even look at the aircon, back to me.
I bit my lower lips, bakit niya ako bibilhan? Did Phoebe already seat here on his swivel chair? Did Magen buy something for Phoebe? Hinalikan niya rin ba si Phoebe rito?
"You can seat there if you want," he said pertaining to the swivel chair. "...and yes, I'll buy again some scrunchie next time," he seriously said.
Pinakatitigan ko muna ang itsura niya bago mag-iwas ng tingin. My chest feels so heavy because of random questions that I want to ask him but I'll choose to kept quiet. Ilang minuto pa kami natahimik dahil hindi ko siya kinibo. I'm just staring at his swivel chair like an idiot.
Tumikhim siya kaya napabaling ako sa gawi niya. "Hey, do you... do you have any problem? Bakit bigla kang natahimik? Ayaw mo ba na bilhan kita o may iba kang gusto ipabili? Just tell me, Heart. Bibilhin ko lahat ng gusto,"
Sobrang bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Para bang binuhusan niya ako ng sobrang lamig na tubig dahilan para maalarma ang buong pagkatao ko. I looked directly at his pleaded eyes. Sa sobrang pangungusap ng kaniyang mga mata ay parang bumibigay na naman ako.
"No, it's fine. H'wag kana mag-abala," binigyan ko siya ng pekeng ngiti.
This is so awkward! Swear! Ilang minuto rin kaming natahimik na para bang nagkakapaan ng mga salitang sasabihin. I felt tired and I want to take a rest.
"How did you know my Dad? Lorenzo Isagany Nazario," I asked curiously.
He chuckled "Chave recommend my Cafeteria. May upcoming big events daw. I know your Dad will buy one resort. He wanted to put one branch of cafeteria inside and well. He choose mine. Hindi ko sana tatanggapin kasi Chave just recommend our café so I declined it,"
Kumunot ang noo ko "You w-what?"
"I declined it but he said that he choose us because of the quality of our coffees. Pinuntahan niya ako rito dahil gusto niya ako pilitin. I was about to accept his offer but I think he will re-schedule our meeting,"
I nodded "Dad is a very busy person but he came here to meet you," I smiled.
He shrugged "I told him that I'll only accept it if he offer it personally,"
Nanlaki ang mata ko "Wow ha!" natatawang sabi ko. "I know you're rich---"
"Who told you?" tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.
"Sino pa ba? Kundi ang madaldal mong kapatid," natatawa akong umirap.
"Parehas lang naman kayong madaldal," natatawang sabi niya.
"So, yeah... I know your family was rich but our family too! We own many branches of restaurant all over the world!" I proudly said and flipped some strand of my hair.
Natatawa siyang tumingin sa akin "I know, Heart. Hindi mo na kailangan magyabang," and then he laughed again.
Umawang ang bibig ko dahil sa mga mata niya na pawang ngumiti rin dahil sa pagliwanag.
"H-hindi ako nagyayabang!" I defended "I'm just stating fact! I added.
He sniffed annoyingly, para bang natutuwa pa siya sa reaksyon ko. Tumayo siya at pinahid ang palad sa kaniyang pwetan.
"Ikaw nga ang mayabang, e. Porket matambok ‘yang pwet mo," I laughed and even covered my mouth to stop it.
His brows furrowed and the smile on his lips highlighted "Okay lang na matambok ang pwet kaysa naman sa ‘yo na walang pwet," natatawang balik niya bago ngumiwi.
"E-excuse me?!" inis kong sigaw.
He smirked "Dadaan ka?" he sarcastically asked.
"Mukha ba akong dadaan?!"
"Oh, pasensya! Mukha lang palang daanan," He said full of playfulness.
Pakiramdam ko sinilaban ng nagbabagang apoy ang paligid dahil sa sinabi niya.
"I was kidding, okay? Biro lang ‘yon. Bawal ang pikon. You tease me first so---"
"Oo alam ko!" inid kong saad bago umirap.
Parehas na parehas sila ng ugali ni Chave! Nakakainis!
"Iiyak na ‘yan... iiyak na ‘yan," he chanted while teasing me with his annoying yet beautiful smile.
I just stare at me, he want me to cry? Why? Hiniling niya rin ba na umiyak si Phoebe?
Lumunok nalang ako at umiwas ng tingin. It was a joke, Heart! Loosen up!
"What's wrong?" seryosong tanong niya habang hinuhuli ang titig ko na pilit kong iniiwas. "I'm just kidding!" pilit siyang tumawa. "Damn! Don't cry," he panicked.
What's wrong?! Oo nga naman Heart! What's wrong?! It's just a joke!
I smiled awkwardly "Nothing..." umiwas muli ako ng tingin.
Para bang kapag tinagalan ko pa ang pagtitig sa kaniya ay malulusaw ang buong pagkatao ko dahil sa nakakapaso niyang mga titig.
I need to go out here! I will surely melt! Malulusaw ako ng pinong-pino!
Matapang ko siyang tinitigan "Ah, I need to go home. I need that eyeglasses," I said and pointed my right index finger to my eye glasses that he's holding, tightly.
He stare at me using his dangerous eyes before combing his hair using his fingers.
He chuckled sexily like he own the universe. "Uuwi kana?" He seriously asked.
I nodded "Yes but I need that eye---"
"Why?" He cutted my words immediately.
Para bang hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinabi ko at wala akong karapatan na magpaliwanag. It feels like we're on stage but he have the most powerful spotlight! His brows furrowed while staring at me. I also saw how his jaw clenched while putting my eyeglasses inside his right pocket.
"Hey!" awat ko sa kaniya sabay turo sa kaniyang bulsa. "Uuwi na ako!"
"Why?" nanliliit ang mata na ulit niya.
Why?! Bakit papatayin niya ba ako dito sa loob?
"I need to go home,"
Oo, tama! Kung gusto ko makasurvive sa jealous trap! I must survive.
"Why you need to go home?" He even raised his brows!
Natahimik ako dahil sa tanong niya. Why I need to go home? Why?!
"Uhmm... I need to wash the dishes!"
Oh, bullshit.
Unreasonable reasoning!
"Bakit ka nasigaw?"
"You're asking because?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay bago lumunok ng lakas ng loob.
Napatikhim siya bago tumayo at maglakad palapit sa akin. The loud pounding of my chest and heart went crazy! Para bang may mga nagwawala sa kaloob-looban ko.
"Can't I?" naliit ang mata niya bago ilapit ang kaniyang mukha sa akin.
I think we need to call an ambulance? Parang aatakihin ako sa mga pinaggagawa niya! Napalunok akong umatras bago mag-iwas ng tingin. I touched the backrest of his swivel chair to gain more support. I felt like he weakened me because of his intense gaze! He did! He always did!
"I need to go--"
"You need to go home because you're going to wash the dishes, huh?"
I immediately nodded without hesitation "Y-yes," I nervously said.
He stare directly at my eyes using his calm and pleaded gaze.
"Really?" He asked huskily.
"Y-yes,"
"Then stay here, I'm going to wash your dishes later," seryosong sabi niya na nagpagulat sa akin.
He took again a step forward, napahigpit ang hawak ko sa backrest ng swivel chair niya.
"Seat..." he whispered huskily, full of authority. "I was just joking, Heart. I don't want you to cry..."
Napalunok akong dahan-dahan na umupo sa swivel chair niya. Sobrang bilis na naman ng tibok ng puso ko. My knees is trembling so hard! I don't know where my uncomfortable gaze will darted.
"Ako na maghuhugas ng hugasin mo sa unit mo. Just stay beside me," he seriously said before putting his both hands on my side.
He cornered me again and lower his face so he can have the full access to make me feel like I'm floating.
Bahagya kong nilayo ang mukha sa kaniya. Hindi ba siya aware na sobrang nagwawala na ang puso ko?! He slowly putting a bombs! The bombs that surely will explode immediately!
It's dangerous!
"Are you kidding me?" I mocked as I avoided his dangerous gaze.
He stare at me again and smirked "I'm not, Heart. Hindi ako nagbibiro kung 'yon lang ang dahilan para umalis ka sa tabi ko pwes hindi ako papayag. You're going home instead of staying with me because of that damn dishes, huh?"
Kunot-noo ko siyang tinitignan "Magen, I need to go home. So, give back to me my eyeglasses. I can't go home without that. They can see my eyes," mahinahong sabi bago mag-iwas muli ng tingin.
"I said just stay here for a while,"
"I said just give me back my eyeglasses,"
Nakipagtitigan ako sa kaniya. Tumikhim siya bago mag-iwas ng tingin.
"Tanginang mga mata 'yan," I heard him whispered annoyingly.
"Y-you hate my blue eyes? Don't worry I have contact lense--"
"Don't you dare..." he warned me, softly. "Gusto ko 'yan... gustong-gusto ko 'yan,"
I bit my lower lips and avoid his dangerous eyes but the dangerous part of it... is very different. Dangerous yet comforting.
"D-did Phoebe... s-seat here t-too?" Alanganin akong nag-iwas ng tingin.
"So... my honey is damn jealous, huh?" He huskly whispered on my left ear.
I swallowed hard before rubbing my hands together. This is so embarassing!
"N-nevermind..."
"Seat down..." matigas ang boses niyang utos sa 'kin nang akma akong tatayo.
Umakto akong walang narinig. Patayo na sana ako ng pigilan niya ako at hawakan sa magkabilang balikat. Nanlaki ang mata ko ng bigla niya ako sunggaban ng mainit na halik na pati ata ang puso ko ay napaso.
I could not move even though breathing I was struggling while feeling his forced kiss on my lucky mouth. My lips just parted and he himself made the way to kiss me and with the pounding of my chest I no longer knew how I had the courage to fight his kisses. His sweet kisses... his delicious kisses... his addicted kisses.
He kisses me as if we're about to tie a red string that connecting our soul and heart. It feels like he was the electricity... his kisses was a charger... and I was a gadget that about to shut down. He fulled me up.
"Y-you kissed me twice, Magen. You called me Honey," I whispered when we stopped kissing. "Ano ba tayo?" I stare at his wonderful eyes that looks like it contains the universe.
He stared back at me. He even licked his lower lips before giving me a smile.
"Masaya, Heart." He huskily answered. "Masaya tayo," he repeated.