I am now standing opposite the door of this unit of mine. I was waiting for Magen because I cooked lunch for him because I knew he didn't go into the cafeteria. I also used my food plating skill.
Ilang beses pa ako kumatok sa pinto niya bago niya ako tuluyan na pagbuksan. I was like a dog salivating when I saw that he was not wearing any top clothes and only a blue checkered boxer. I swallowed averting my gaze.
"Kakagising mo lang?" I said the obvious and tried to go inside but he blocked me.
He nodded "I was sleeping but you're too loud. What's that?" he uttered using his sleepy yet husky voice.
Napatingin din ako sa niluto ko. I pouted when he stared at me.
"Can you let me in first Chave was not there in his unit. They went out of town so no one could see. "I explained before grinning.
He looked at me seriously first as if he was thinking first of what to do. Mukha ba akong may gagawing masama?
He took a deep breathe and nodded "Go on kitchen, magbibihis lang ako..." seryosong sabi niya bago padausdusin ang palad sa kaniyang buhok.
I was not in the mood to nod. Actually, it's okay with me even if he doesn't get dressed! It's a blessing ! what a waste! Naglakad na ako papunta sa dinning table. Wow, ang linis niya sa gamit halos wala akong makita na basura.
"Bakit nagluto kapa? I don't want to eat lunch..." he mumbled using hi raspy tone.
Ang sarap naman nito pagmasdan na umupo sa tapat ko!
I giggled "I just want... I'm a Chef so don't worry because it taste good," I confidently articulate.
His sexy chuckle attacked my ears "Yabang..."
"H'wag kana maarte. Just taste it!" natatawang sabi ko.
He rolled his eyes. "You're not a Chef,"
"Excuse me! I graduated with culinary arts degree..." I defended.
He sniffed "You graduated pero hindi ka naman nagtatrabaho. You're still an ordinary person,"
Natahimik ako dahil sa sinabi niya. I don't really know but I don't want to be a chef and I don't see myself as that. He noticed that I was quiet because he sighed arrogantly so I looked at him with frowning eyebrows.
"I just can't see myself happy with that career..." I explained and pouted.
Natigilan siya sa paglagay ng tubig sa kaniyang baso. Ipinatong ko ang aking siko sa lamesa para makakuha ng pagsuporta. He lifted his head and stared at me wearing his calm expression.
"You're still undecided?" kunot-noo na tanong niya na nagpatango sa akin.
I saw how his jaw tightened because of my response. Well, it's really surprising because until now I still don't have the career in life that I want.
"Wala kang ibang choice?" he asked curiously. "You cooked well, your profession suits you," he complimented me.
Hindi ko alam pero napangiti ako dahil sa sinabi niya. His voice is not conciliatory.
"I don't have a dream. I just pushed myself to took that degree because I don't have a choice. I was under pressure because my cousins and then those the same age as me already have a dream path. While I had no dreams,"
Napatitig siya sa akin bago tumango. "You are happy in your life now even if you are just like that. Let it be because it's okay to have no more dreams," he uttered and chew his food "It's alright, Heart. If you still don't have dream then take a pause and continue when you feel like you want not because others want,"
Napaawang ang labi ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Naramdaman ko rin ang pangingilid ng luha sa mata ko. His words give me a comfort.
"What you think suitable to me based on my personality?" I made a puppy eyes reason why he groaned.
"Murderer." mabilis niyang sagot kaya mabilis kong sinipa ang hita niya sa ilalim nitong mesa. "Aray ha!" natatawang angal niya.
I glared at him, mukha ba akong murderer?!
"Napakasama ng ugali mo..." I pouted and rolled my eyes.
"I was kidding!" natatawa parin niyang sabi. "Alright... at first, akala ko model ka. You have the aura of professional models. So when I found out you were a chef I was a little surprised,"
"Paano 'yung gulat?" I snapped full of sarcasm.
Umakto naman siya na nagulat. Damn! This man! He look good at anything!
"Why don't you try modeling?" seryosong tanong niya.
I shrugged "Well, I love taking pictures and posting it online. I'm also fond of fashion styles," ngumiti ako. "I think I want it already..." He smiled at me as if he was melting me with his calm expression.
When he finished eating, he rested first but he also said goodbye to me immediately because he said he needed to take care of something. So I just spent my time inside my unit. Gusto ko sana pa ayain si Magen na sabay kaming magdinner but his phone is off. Siguro busy siya sa trabaho niya.
"Did you saw Magen?" I asked Chave when we both entered the elevator.
Isang araw ko na kasi siyang hindi nakikita. Simula nung umalis siya kahapon ay hindi ko na siya nakausap at matatapos na itong araw na 'to but I can't see even his shadow!
"Kailan pa kayo naging close ni Magen? Nabalitaan ko rin na sinama ka no'n sa kasal nila Rapha. I am his friend he didn't invite then he invited you?!" he complaint.
I rolled my eyes "Hindi siya ang kinasal, Chave. Kaela's sister is my friend because I was with her at work so she invited me," I reason out even I'm not sure.
Hindi kasi ako sure kung si Magen o si Anica 'yung nag-invite sa akin but I think Magen will never think of me when he heard the engagement!
"Ang alam ko nasa Davies si Magen. Naghahanap ng chicks..." he said that made my whole system boiled.
Irritated I exited the elevator I even heard Chave's teasing whistle while both hands were in both pockets. Dare-daretso ang lakad ko papunta sa parking lot. Wow! I waited for him all day then he's there?! Hindi niya man lang ba naisip na may naghihintay sa kaniya?! He even shutdown his phone because he doesn't want anyone to disturb his fvcking time?!
"Hoy, Heart. Just chill... 'yun pala si Magen oh. Pre!" tawag niya sa kung saan.
There! Wearing his simple white t-shirt and brown chino short partnered with his brown loafers! Nakita ko kung paano sinara ni Magen ang sasakyan niya at kunot-noo na tiningnan si Chave na tinapik ang balikat niya. Magen's glint eyes darted at me. Mabilis akong naglakad palapit sa kaniya. Kinuyom ko ang palad ko at direkta lang ang titig sa kaniya.
"What's wrong?" he mumbled using his husky voice and stared at me.
Wow! He look tired! Ano'ng ginawa niya para mapagod ng gan'to?!
"Pre, marami ka ba nabingwit na chicks? Where did you book the hotel?" Chave asked without any filter.
Pakiramdam ko sasabog na ang dibdib ko dahil sa narinig. I sniffed reason why they look at me. I immediately averted my gaze to also hold back the tears in my eyes. Nanlalabo na ang paningin ko.
"Shut up, Chave." Inis na saway ni Magen sa pinsan ko bago bumaling ulit sa akin.
So, it's true huh?! Bullshit!
"Sarap ba, pre?" Chave asked again.
I stepped backward because I don't want to hear his answer. I immediately turned my back and started walking away, slowly. Nanghihina na kasi ako.
"Tangina naman, Chave." galit na sabi ni Magen.
Naramdaman ko naman agad na sumusunod sa akin at dahil amoy na amoy ko na ang pabango niya ay hindi ako nagkakamali. He didn't speak he just followed me until I got to my car. I was about to open the door of my car when his cold palm landed on my elbow to stop me. Hindi ako nagsalita, bumuntong hininga nalang ako at dahan-dahan siyang hinarap pero parang gusto ko sabunutan ang sarili ko dahil sa maamo niyang mukha.
"Where are you going? Gabi na," he uttered.
I smiled fakely. "May pupuntahan lang ako," I lied!
He sighed, para bang alam niya na nagsisinungaling ako. "Stop lying..."
Hindi ko nalang siya pinansin. I looked at my cousin's sedan. Parang pinapanood niya pa kami ni Magen but because it's tinted then I can't see his evil smile! I tried again to open my car but before I can... he held my elbow again.
"What Chave said is not true," he retorted.
"I didn't ask..." mataray kong sabi.
Is he guilty?!
I saw how he swallowed hard "Yeah... I just want to inform you. Hindi ako nag-inom o pumunta ng bar. Hindi rin ako nagdala ng babae sa hotel," iiling-iling niyang paliwanag na kinukumbinsi ako.
"May pupuntahan ako, Magen. I need to eat dinner," I lied again.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta! I just want to escape for awhile.
He nodded "Sasamahan kita..." hinila niya ako papunta sa kotse niya pero marahas kong hinigit ang braso ko para mabitawan niya.
I glared deadly at him but I didn't say any words. Napabuntong hininga siya at saglit na tumingala.
"Sasamahan kita..." pilit niya.
He tried again to hold my arm but I shook my head and step backward so he didn't succeed.
"May kasama na ako!" inis kong sabi.
Mapupungay niyang tinitigan ang mata ko.
"Who?"
Natahimik ako, si Sele at Lami ay pagod 'yon for sure dahil sa flight nila. Hailey is probably with her boyfriend.
"S-si... si Rain,"
Nakita ko ang pagbakas ng galit sa mukha niya at ang gulat.
"Why?"
"Ano'ng why? I need to eat dinner!"
"Bakit siya ang kasama mo? Sasamahan kita kung gusto mong kumain," he grabbed again my arm.
I tried to do anything so he can let go but he held me tighter!
"What the hell, Magen!" I shouted when he pushed me inside the passenger seat.
He didn't say a words. The anger trace on his face when he sat on the driver's seat.
"Where are we going?" nagpipigil niyang tanong.
I didn't answer because I was still disgusted with him. I don't know if he was telling the truth before. I just stared at the building where we were staying. Narinig ko pa ang sunod-sunod na pagbuntong-hininga niya.
"Heart..." hindi parin ako kumibo.
I crossed my arm over my chest. Pinalibot ko nalang ang paningin sa paligid. Pinanood ko na umandar ang sasakyan ng pinsan ko. Maglalandi na naman 'yan!
"Heart..." ulit na naman niya. "Saan tayo pupunta?" hindi ako kumibo.
Ilang minuto pa kami na natahimik.
"Heart, where are we going?"
Nairita ako dahil sa pag-uulit niya. "Bakit ba paulit-ulit ka?!" inis kong sigaw.
Nagulat siya dahil nakita ko na umawang mapupula niyang labi. Damn! I miss his lips! W-wait... what?!
"Tinatanong kita ng paulit-ulit dahil hindi mo naman sinagot ang tanong ko," halatang nagtitimpi niyang sabi.
Hindi kona siya ulit kinibo! Bahala siya!
"Heart... where are we--"
"Sa mga babae mo!" I shouted loudly.
He stared at me "Pinagsasabi mo na naman?"
I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Tutal ang sinabi niya suitable naman ako sa pagiging murderer then I'll murder his girls face!
"You need to eat dinner," I made a face "Stop it, Heart. Bahala ka ako na ang pipili," he said.
He took me to an expensive restaurant. I don't know but it looks like someone is celebrating in my chest. It was like our first date outside. I mean, he didn't invite me on a date today. Maybe I'm just feelingera.
"Ano'ng gusto mo orderin?" he asked but I ignored him.
Napatingin pa sa akin ang waitress at naawa na bumaling kay Magen. I just crossed my arm over my chest. Pinanood ko lang siya na umorder dahil hindi ko parin siya kinibo.
"Come on, Heart. I didn't do anything bad... pansinin mo naman na ako," nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Why?! is it important for him that I notice him?
Bumuntong hininga ako "Saan kaba galing? I waited for you and I even contacted you but your phone is damn off!" napalakas ang sabi ko kaya may napabaling sa amin na iba.
I immediately felt the redness on my cheek especially when I saw the reflection of a beautiful smile on Magen's lips.
"Oh! I was on Mint's condo. May pinag-usapan lang kami tungkol kay Dad and Mom. I forgot to charge my phone that's why," he explained.
"Chave told me you're in Davies and lookinf for a girls..." napaiwas ako ng tingin.
"Bobo 'yung pinsan mo..." walang preno na sabi niya. "Hindi ako nambababe kaya pwede ba 'wag kana maging sadgirl d'yan," natatawang dagdag niya.
"I'm not sadgirl!" inis kong sabi but he just shrugged his shoulder. When our order arrived we ate immediately while we were eating, he said that Mint would be in charge of their family business. Anica and Mint have already graduated. Magen allegedly talked to Mint not to take things seriously first because Magen said that Mint is very competitive and he does not want to give all the pressure to his brother.
"Goodnight..." Magen mumbled and shut the door of his unit.
Napangiti ako na pumasok sa unit ko. What a wonderful night!
In the morning I waited for Magen in the parking lot to come out. I was wearing my black simple high waisted shorts and the top was black tube. I took off my brown sock boots before climbing on the hood of my car. Ayaw ko kasi hintayin siya sa tapat ng unit niya dahil baka makahalata na masyado ang chismoso kong pinsan.
May mga napapatingin pa sa gawi ko but I just gave them a small smile. Siguro nagtataka sila kung bakit ang aga aga ay nakaupo ako dito. Well, it's not bad because I can absorb a vitamin D. Maybe this time is my sunshine vitamin D time!
Napaayos ako ng upo nang makita na maglakad palabas ng building si Magen. Wow, he is wearing his sky blue longsleeve partnered with gray trouser and white docksides shoes. He look expensive while folding his longsleeve into elbow.
"Para kang model," I praise him.
Salubong ang kilay niya akong tiningnan. "Bumaba ka nga d'yan," napanguso ako ng maglakad na siya palapit sa sasakyan niya.
"Let me hitch with you, Magen." I said while following him.
Hindi niya ako binalingan ng tingin. "Just go with your car," he said and entered his car.
I laughed and rolled my eyes, pero agad din na napawi ang ngiti sa labi ko ng mabilis paandarin ni Magen ang sasakyan niya. My lips parted while staring at his car before I can't see his car anymore.
Ano'ng problema no'n?!
Kumalabog dibdib ko. He was rude! He just leave me alone! Naramdaman ko ang pangingilid ng luha ko dahil sa ginawa niya. Wow, hindi niya man lang naisip na masasaktan ako sa simple niyang action towards me. He talked to me like I was a total stranger!
"Where is Magen?" I asked Wafer the cashier here in DM's Café.
"Dumaan lang po si Sir Magen pero umalis din agad," paliwanag niya.
Napanguso akong tumango "Alam mo saan siya pumunta?" I tried my luck but he just shook his head.
Laylay ang balikat akong bumalik sa sasakyan. I tried to contact him but it's only ringing!
"Lonch, do you know where is Magen?" gulat na bumaling sa akin si Lonch.
Nandito ako ngayon sa restaurant nila Hailey and Lonch was standing beside his car's door while waiting for my cousin.
"I'm not his lover!" natatawang sagot niya. "Ask his girlfriend," napakunot ang noo ko.
"Girlfriend? Who?"
He chuckled "Phoebe, wait... I'll call her and ask where is Magen. Bakit ba? may kasalanan sa'yo si Magen?"
Oo, marami.
"Sila na?" I tried again my luck.
Hindi pwede, I mean, hindi talaga. Hindi sumagot si Lonch. He dialed something on his phone.
"Phoebe, where is Magen? No... someone wants to talk with him. Yes... please tell him," biglang sumibol ang kaba sa dibdib ko.
"Where?" naluluha kong tanong.
"Sa condo ni Phoebe. I'll forward to you the address," nanlamig ako sa sinabi niya.
So, kasama niya pala 'yung gusto niya?! Iniwan niya na naman ako dahil doon! bullshit ka talaga, Magen!
I immediately started my car when I received the address where Phoebe was staying. While driving I cried because of mixed emotions. Kahit pala ano'ng gawin ko ay bumabalik at bumalik parin siya kay Phoebe! Nakakainis! I didn't bother to park my car because I saw Magen come out of the building still wearing the same outfit and looking in a hurry.
"Magen!" tawag ko sa kaniya.
Nanlaki ang mata niya at nagtiim bagang na naglakad papunta sa parking lot. Sinundan ko lang siya.
"Magen! Dinner tayo?" I build a topic.
Pinigilan ko na buksan niya ang sasakyan pero nagulat ako ng balyahin niya ang pagkakahawak ko. Para siyang nandidiri sa akin!
"I already ate a dinner with Phoebe. You must eat alone. I'm tired, Heart," mahinahon niyang sabi.
"I didn't eat lunch because I was busy looking for you---"
"Hindi kona kasalanan 'yon," malamig niyang sabi na nagpaawang sa labi ko.
"I know but--"
"Heart, tigilan mo nga ako. Pagod ako ngayon. I don't want to say any words,"
He ruthlessly got into his car and I was no longer surprised when he drove it so fast. Hindi ko alam pero pakiramdam ko ay binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig dahil sa sinabi niya. I went home feeling heavy. He ignores me again as if he doesn't know me. Bakit kapag binabalewala niya ako ay ayos lang sa kaniya? Bakit hindi ko siya kayang tiisin pero kaya niya akong tiisin?
A few days later we were still set up. Twing I approach him in the parking lot he quickly gets into his car. When I'm in the cafeteria, he always acts busy and doesn't want to talk to me first.
Nilulutuan ko rin siya ng lunch at dinner, dinadala sa office niya but it's ending up with his employees pero kahit ganoon ay hinahayaan ko lang. I want to ask him what's wrong with him since it's been a week since he keeps on ignoring me but I chose to shut up and go with the flow.
Kahit na nakakasakit na siya. Kahit na nasasaktan ako sa mga ginagawa niya.
"Magen, I cooked this one. Nagtimpla rin ako ng lemonade para sa'yo. Sana naman h'wag mo muna ipamigay 'to kahit ngayon lang," I told him while putting the paper bag on the top of his table.
I watched him signing some paper look like a contract with some events. Mukha ginawa silang sponsor! He just nodded, kaya nagmamadali kong kinuha ang lagayan ng pagkain.
"Akala ko hindi mo parin kakainin, e. Masarap naman ako magluto," pagmamayabang ko habang nakangiti na inaayos ang pagkain niya.
Napanguso ako nang walang emosyon ang bumakas sa mukha niya. He's just busy signing papers!
I waited for him to eat that. I just watched him seriously eat. Gusto ko mag-open ng topic para makapag-usap kami pero napanghihinaan ako ng loob. Natapos ang araw na hindi niya ako kinikibo pero hinayaan ko lang baka kasi may problema siya at ayaw niya muna maipag-usap sa iba.
"Ma'am Heart, umalis po si Sir Magen," Wafer stopped me when I was about to enter Magen's office.
I smiled and nodded. "Saan nagpunta?"
"Canada po," awang ang labi ko siyang tinitigan.
"Are you... wait! Kailan pa?!" nagtataranta kong tanong.
"Alam ko po kanina pang umaga..."
Naiiyak akong nag-iwas ng tingin. "K-kailan ang balik?" my voice cracked.
"December 14 po..." limang araw siya doon?!
And a few days later I waited for him to call or even text. I almost fell asleep in his cafeteria just to make sure if he would call the cafeteria phone and ask what was update but in the days that passed I was always disappointed. Lagi akong bigo dahil para siyang naglaho na parang isang bula.
He didn't gave us the reason why he leave. Basta nalang siyang umalis ng wala man lanh iniisip na may taong laging naghihintay sa kaniya.