My car grinds to a halt in front of the girls school. Their arms wrap around me from behind, hair tickling my skin as they smother me with kisses I return with equal fervency. I release them so they can get their bags, heart thudding and chest tightening at the realisation I will not be seeing them until the weekend.
Craning my neck to give them final kisses to their cheeks, I murmur, “Love you two.”
The backdoor opens, my insides clench painfully, the weekend went so fast. “Love you too, Daddy.”
They don’t get out of the car, I glance at them through the rearview mirror. Bren nudges Wyn with her elbow, a frown meets my lips and my worry evolves into something bigger. They are hiding something.
“Daddy?” Bren speaks up when Wyn doesn’t, I unfasten my seatbelt and join them at the backseat. Wyn closes the door, Bren climbs to my laps while fiddling with my tie. I grab her hand to stay her movement, my lips move into a smile at how ridiculously small her palm looks against mine. “Are you coming?”
Their anxious gazes make me gulp, I link my other hand with Wyn's. Filtering the activities of the short weekend, I try to remember what I might have missed but my brain draws a blank. “Coming for what?”
“The PTA,” Wyn answers. Her hair sweeps into her face at the sudden jerk of her head, she swipes it with a glare that forces a nervous chuckle out of me. Her eyes narrow to harsh slits. “You promised.”
“Of course I’m coming,” I say in a voice that hides the fact I didn’t remember that promise until now. Yesterday was our only free time together and most of it was spent recounting their skating experience or repeating questions from their maternal grandparents, questions too complicated to be answered honestly. Their faces light up with smiles that can illuminate a room, I ruffle their hair. “What time is it?”
“Now.”
My heart crashes to a stop, then resumes beating erratically. Taking out my phone to check my calendar, I frown at the meetings lined up for me this morning, the first one is by nine. Ed has not replied my emails to resume work, I even promised him a raise. I understand his silence since I was a jackass but he is the best assistant I have got since Danielle’s dismissal. As awful as I might be, I am logical enough to admit I need him back at work to deal with my hectic schedules so I can spend more time with my little girls.
One glance at their beautiful faces, the anxiety spread on them and I swallow the excuse making its way to my lips. I promised. I have never been to any of the PTA meetings because Elna never thinks to inform me, which is kind of okay since I have busy mornings but that has to change. I send a text to Dina, shove the phone into a compartment of the car. If I’ll attend the meeting, I’ll do it without any distractions.
“Okay,” I mutter and it earns me kisses on my cheeks.
They grab my hands once we exit the car as if afraid I’ll leave, I delay for a nanosecond at the sight of the huge brown doors wide open to receive us. Kids race each other to the entrance, the twins giggle when one of them almost trips. A tug on my sleeve reminds me we are still outside, I offer them a reassuring smile and we make our way up the stairs and into a long corridor filled with parents and their wards.
Shame tinged with guilt slices through me at the sight of couples having hushed conversations with their kids. I squeeze their hands at the thought of them never experiencing this intimacy, earning a suspicious look from them. I have never been inside their school, never had to participate in the registration at the start of each session. Elna handles it all without complaints, gives me a summary I never question. I try to focus on Joshua’s words; I can shape the future. It is not enough for us to spend weekends together, I need to do more as their father. I have to be more present in their academics and other areas of their lives.
They drag me down another staircase, we pause for them to greet their friends. Wyn runs off without notice, the parents gathered in the corridor stop me from screaming her name. “Where is Wyn going?”
“To pee,” Bren replies, pulling me into a near-empty corridor with glass doors on each side.
Her calmness reassures me, I suppress a chuckle when she yanks me into her class. So much strength in that little body. The empty class eases the tension in my joints, I wouldn’t know what to do in a class full of kids. Pushing me into her seat to occupy my laps, Bren tugs on my beards until my gaze meets her.
“Do you miss Mummy?” she whispers.
“Yes.”
Her arms circle my neck, she rests her head on my shoulder. “We will take you to the hall when she comes.” I nod, thankful the conversation is over. I miss their mother everyday. I miss being a husband.
I scan the place my daughters spend most of their time in. The teacher’s table with a pile of books has me hoping the kids are not forced to study all of them in a session. I smile at the unsolved fractions on the board, the walls covered with maps. Everything looks normal, as normal as a kid class should be.
Giggles from outside catch my attention, Bren squirms out of my laps and Wyn’s head pokes inside. She smiles at us and runs off again, her curls bouncing and I shake my head. I lift Bren off the ground before she can also take off, her protests go unheard and she wriggles in my arms until I let her down.
Stubborn girl.
“Don’t go anywhere,” I mutter and peek at my wristwatch. Her class teacher should be here by now.
A bunch of kids of the same age rush into the class, recognition flashes in Bren’s eyes and I unhand her. She doesn’t race to meet them like I expect, the bell rings and a light-skinned female walks in. Bren joins me to greet her, she introduces herself as the teacher and offers direction to the venue for the meeting.
Halfway across the corridor, I notice Bren behind me. I crouch in front of her. “Why aren’t you in class?”
“I want to get my sister,” she says, poking my cheeks. “She’s in the toilet.”
For some reason, I don’t believe her. Those two are schemers. We resume walking, I hear voices, a tiny one I can recognise anywhere. I quicken my footsteps, that’s not the toilet, that’s not the direction Bren said it was. We take a curve by the right and my feet crash to a stop at the people before us. My heart beats against my chest, squeezing when the second person pulls Wyn into a hug she gladly reciprocates.
My girls. Elna and Wyn.
I take that time to ogle El. Her red gown hugs her curvy frame, her full lips have my body reacting in ways strangely familiar to me. I run my tongue across my bottom lip, I need to kiss this woman. I tense slightly at her shoe choice. She’s on heels. As a tall lady, she has never had use for them. Does she have a date?
Wyn notices me first, she giggles as she pulls me to stand beside Elna. “Daddy.” El’s eyes flicker to me, she creates a distance between us and Bren occupies it. “Mummy came,” Wyn tells me and I chuckle.
Right, as if her appearance is a coincidence. Elna averts her gaze, staring instead at the child smiling in front of us, all too pleased with herself. Someone screams, we jump and I mutter profanities under my breath.
“Wanker,” Wyn says. Her finger jabs in the direction the sound came from, I pale.
El squats in front of her. Prying her fists open, she asks, “Wyn, what did you say?”
“The person that shouted is a wanker,” she replies and bursts into a fit of giggles, avoiding eye contact with me. Bren smiles along, no idea what her sister just said but supporting her as always. “Wanker.”
My heart sinks to my stomach, El barely spares me a glance. “Where did you hear that word?”
“Daddy.” Wyn steps away from El to hold her sister, her gaze rests on me and she offers me a smile like she didn’t just get me into trouble with her mother. How can evil look this cute? No more late nights for them. “We are going to class.” Dumbfounded, El gawks at them while I place a kiss on their heads. They don’t leave, my heart skips. What do they want this time? Wyn says, “Give Mummy a kiss before we go.”
“No, we–” I cut El off with a kiss to her cheek.
“Now go to class,” I tell them. They high five each other and dash to class, stopping once to wave at us.
El is in front of me in minutes, a disapproving frown on her lips. “Don’t indulge them,” she mutters. I shrug, it was only a peck, a peck I want to repeat. “And don’t use words like that in front of the kids.”
It takes a minute for me to figure out what she’s talking about. “I’m sorry.” My apology surprises both of us, I go on to say, “I didn’t know they heard me.” Her frown eases. “But I didn’t use it in front of them.”
Her head bobs, she licks her lips and I suppress a moan. I want to taste her. I want to feel her. I want to have her. “It’s alright, they eavesdrop all the time. You shouldn’t swear when they are in the house.”
“I won’t.” I won’t do anything she says I shouldn’t. We engage in another stare-off, my eyes linger on her sexy lips tucked between her teeth. I gesture to the empty corridor with a tight smile. “We will be late.” She nods, I nod, wishing she used her words instead. I love hearing her speak. “Shall we?”