The phone won’t stop ringing. Elna. Joshua. They won’t stop calling me.
I spread out the files on my desk, picking out the thinnest from the bunch. Tracing the words written in big, bold letters on the front page, a weight lifts off my shoulders. Things are moving painfully slow with Jei but it’s progress, productions will start sooner than later. The news should have made me glad but there’s no one to share it with. Sadness sneaks up on me, my chest tightens. Even Sophia is ignoring me.
A smile lifts the corners of my lips when my eyes wander to the girls huddled in a corner of their office, they grin at each other as they take turns to perform CPR on one of their toys. Wyn notices me first, she waves. Bren’s eyes gleam with mirth when they meet mine, I wave back at them, they share a look and giggle. They always do that. Pointing to the telephone on my desk as I pick the receiver, I motion for them to do the same. Bren rushes behind the desk, I ring the line in their office and she picks with a grin.
“Do you need anything?” I ask. She reiterates the question to Wyn who also replies in the negative.
The next few seconds pass with me asking mundane questions, she answers all of them without mincing words. On a sigh, she ends the call, waves for the last time then joins Wyn. I slouch in my seat. Maybe I am overthinking it. Maybe I am not doing a terrible job. They have been with me for two weeks now, it’s why El won’t stop ringing my phone. To be fair, I informed her over a text that I will keep them for the duration of their break. That rash decision might have been influenced by the whole incident but I am not willing to reconsider. She spends more days with them anyways, she can deal with their absence.
And the girls have not complained. Sure, they ask about their mother, speak to her occasionally but they like it here with me. Thankfully, El is wise enough to leave out the fact my decision was taken without her permission. I pick the discarded file, skim through lines and lines of technical terms and sigh. My brain refuses to process a clause in the contract Jei sent, I close my eyes and stop trying to figure it out.
A voice niggles me, the blurry face in my mind slowly forms into Vincent’s. I should have hit him harder. No, I should have asked him what he meant, then punched him. Is it too late? What does he know? Does he know about Brendan? The accident? I pinch the bridge of my nose, opening my eyes at the shuffling from behind the door. The person doesn’t wait to be ushered in, the door opens and Joshua strolls in.
“You are not picking my calls,” he says. But we both know he means to say, our—his and El calls because they have been calling for the same reason. To know why I’m keeping the girls. I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about the text I sent to El. I have a right over the girls as much as she does. “Why?”
“Don’t know where my phone is,” I murmur.
Joshua scoffs. “Right there. In front of you.” I look towards the direction he points and there is my phone peeking from underneath a pile of white papers. Making himself comfortable on one of the two seats in front of my oak desk, he rolls his sleeves to his elbow and flexes his biceps. “Brandon, what is going on?”
The pencils in the cup become attractive, I pull one out and circle the paragraph from Jei’s contract over and over again. Joshua clears his throat to call my attention, I drop the pencil and my spine stiffens. He looks different—good in a navy blue suit sewn to perfection. As the last child of the family, he didn’t have to spend so much time in the office world like us, I never got to see him in outfits beyond jeans, plaid shirts and a lot of cowboy hats. He arches a brow over hazel eyes, I realise I haven’t answered him.
“What’s going on?” I say, he nods. “I don’t know, you tell me. You are the one blowing up my phone.”
He shifts in his seat, tugs on his multicoloured tie. “You know why.”
“Enlighten me.”
The sigh that escapes him echoes in the room, frustration oozes from every pore in his body and I look to the girls office, relieved to see they haven’t noticed him. Joshua follows my gaze, his chair rotates in that direction to get a better view of them, he sighs again. “Why are you keeping them away from her?”
Our gazes remain on the glass door, on my girls playing without worries, they have moved to the sofa, a new toy. I run a hand through my hair, messing up what Bren spent so much time combing this morning.
“I’m not,” I whisper. That ache in my chest that comes from thinking about El these past days strikes me again, I wipe my palms on my knees. The air-conditioner is on full blast but my palms remain clammy. Joshua’s gaze finally rests on me, it feels like we have swapped ages and roles when he arches a brow. I am the elder brother but I don’t feel like it. I don’t feel like discussing my wife with him but my mouth opens to say, “I informed her I would have them for this month but both of you keep calling me.”
Joshua twists so his upper body is leaning forward, he drums his finger on the desk. “You can’t just take the kids like that,” he says quietly like he’s holding himself back from reprimanding me. I cross my arms on my chest, his eyes narrow and I shrug. “A text message is not good enough. You are co-parents, you can’t make decisions about the kids without hearing her opinion.” I snicker at his efforts to be cool, he slams his fist on the table. “For God’s sake, Brandon. Elna hasn’t seen her kids in over two weeks.”
“Oh, now it’s her kids?” I murmur.
Frustration crosses his face, he leans back into his seat. “You know what I mean.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”
Joshua runs his fingers through his hair, I catch a glimpse of his tattoos and my muscles relax. I never got to ask him the significance, that’s if they hold any. The concept of tattoos and piercings is strange to me, I will rather stick to what I know—whips and cuffs. When Joshua meets my gaze head-on, I try harder to remember he is not the enemy. He doesn’t know about Brianna, he’s here because he still thinks high and mighty of El. My head cocks to the side as I take in his features, I wonder briefly if he ever got over his crush for her or just learnt to hide it better. I don’t dwell on that thought, I barely dwell on anything that isn’t the girls these days. It’s as if my brain can’t think past them and it’s affecting me and my work.
“Brandon, what’s going on?” I shrug. I am not sure anymore, I am not as upset as I was when I found out about Brianna but there’s still a mild ache in my chest. “You were doing so great before... Are you seeing Ava?” The mention of the kind therapist unleashes a tidal wave of guilt, I grip the edge of my seat and smile sadly. “Why not?” After minutes of painful silence from my end, Joshua says, “You can talk to me.”
“Can I?” I whisper.
Sarcasm drips from my voice, Joshua’s gaze lingers on my face and I realise he’s unaffected by my tone. Still, I have nothing to say. Talking got me here. Talking to El got me a separation. Talking doesn’t solve the problem, it only makes it worse. In all honesty, I can’t say for sure if Joshua will pick me over El, she has been much more of a friend and sibling to him than I will ever be. Right now, I hate her guts so much but I still want her to have him in her corner. I want him to keep seeing her as the angel he thinks she is.
“If you are mad at El, I get it.” I arch a brow, he chuckles. “I do. But don’t take it out on the kids.” Amber eyes lock with hazel, I nod. “They miss their mother too.” He maintains eye contact until my head bobs in agreement, the stubborn part of me wants to keep fighting his words but I know he’s right. “Is it that bad?” he asks a second later. I stare at him in confusion, he continues, “El’s crime. Is it so bad this is the only way you can punish her?” It’s my turn to sigh, my palms run over my face. “Wanna talk about it?”
Now, he sounds like a therapist. They make it hard to stay upset. I want to be mad. My mouth opens to answer, he must have suspected my reply to be in the negative because he murmurs, “I won’t judge.”
Sincerity colours his tone, shines in his eyes and I lost my ability to lie. “Some other time.” He doesn’t look away from me, I manage a smile. “Promise.” His grin is contagious, I chuckle, diffusing the tension. “How’s work?” Joshua’s lips pucker into a frown, laughter spills from my mouth. Business must not be going well. He confirms my suspicions with his reply, I nod attentively as he continues to update me. I cut him off to add, “You know I am always here if you need my help?” He nods. “How’s Loan Dolphin?”
A pleased expression shadows his face at the mention of El’s thriving business. “Great.”
Though I am aware of her business success, my heart still puffs with pride. “Does she know?”
His smile vanishes, he shakes his head and I nod. Guilt stabs my heart, he looks down at his hand resting on the table. When El was about to go bankrupt, I stepped in to help. If the stubborn woman hadn’t refused to use the black card in her possession, none of this would have happened. She doesn’t know one of her major shareholders is me, Joshua took care of the underground work but it was my money that saved her company. The shares are my gift to our girls, I’ll transfer ownership once they are older.
“The girls are in there,” I say at last when he makes no attempt to talk. “You can say hi.”
Joshua jumps on the offer, he shoots out of the chair and laughter escapes me at his childish excitement. When he’s halfway across the office, he says, “I’ll talk to El but she has to see the kids. She misses them.”