Everyone is watching.
Bren. Wyn. Joshua. They have been watching Brianna for the last few minutes, expecting her to stir awake and probably speak. Wyn sighs first and props herself by the elbows on her side of the bed. She looks the most frustrated. I slipped and told them Brianna spoke once, now, they want her to prove it.
Joshua examines the wheelchair, face pensive as his fingers trace the buttons on one side. The buttons are for fancy since Brianna can’t use them yet. Mia, her caregiver is somewhere in the house to allow us privacy with her. I slouch on the edge of the bed, face buried in my hands. Three weeks and there has been little or no improvements yet. I should be thinking about the girls birthday party. Christmas too.
I haven’t even shopped for their presents.
The phone in my pocket pings with a message from Jei. Wrinkles mar my forehead. He wants us to meet now. I slide the phone into my pocket without a reply to him. For days on end, I have tried to reach him and he chooses to reply me today. I might as well start considering other options because he’s not it.
In a bid to distract them—mostly myself while we wait to be disappointed, I ask, “What’s your favourite thing about Daddy?” It’s the exercise for today. Maybe Ava added it so I can hear others’ opinions about me to realise El might have spoken out of anger. I tickle Bren and she falls on her back with laughter.
Wyn doesn’t pay us a lick of attention, Joshua too. He has not let go of the wheelchair.
“Nothing,” she says and my heart beats so fast I let out a breathless, “Wow.” She giggles and her tiny feet land on my legs. I have half a mind to fling them when the cutie says, “I don’t have any favourite thing about Daddy because Daddy is the best daddy in the world and I like everything about him. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Her smile widens, she squints and my heart stops palpitating. I resume tickling her, she wheezes with laughter which dies off abruptly at Wyn’s warning. Bren offers me a contrite smile and rolls over to join her sister, leaving me to stare at the walls while Joshua loses himself in a world of his.
The rich cream coloured walls of Brianna’s room soothes and annoys me. The walls are too empty. No pictures. No toys or furniture. I want her to pick a design herself like the twins did for their room. What if blue isn’t her favourite colour? It’s Bren’s. Wyn likes yellow. It’s bright. A happy colour. I like all colours.
“Daddy.” Bren nudges me. I make space for her to sit beside me. “When will she talk?”
“Soon,” I answer. I spread my palm for her to place hers on top. Her hand is tiny. “How was school?”
Her head falls back in defeat, she rolls her eyes and I prepare for a long talk. “Ugh. School was okay.” El said they loved details so I ask her for specifics and she glues herself to my side. Her eyes alternate between me and her sister who is staring intently at Brianna like a magician willing her to wake. She cups her hands around my ear. “Wyn has a crush.” I lift a brow and she nods. “But he’s not her boyfriend.”
I don’t like boyfriends. I have mentioned that once or twice or maybe more to them. They will live with me for as long as they want. Why do they need a boyfriend when they have me? The best daddy in the world. I smile a little. The positive affirmation exercise is partly working. It is amazing how much of a difference saying positive things to your reflection in the mirror can do.
But one look at the bed and my mood sours. Brianna is on the bed. I am not the best daddy.
“What about you?” I ask.
Her face wrinkles like she’s thinking about her reply, one that might please me. “I don’t have a crush.” I raise a hand and she smashes it in a high five. That’s my girl. No crushes. No boyfriends. She rolls her lip between her teeth for a brief second and wipes her hands on her legs. “Daddy... Did you say sorry?”
“Huh?”
“To Mummy.”
A squeal from somewhere besides us saves me from replying, my head swings to the source and Bren and I rush to Brianna’s side. She stares at Wyn and a corner of her lips curve into what I call a quarter-smile.
I settle down beside her, back against the headboard as I help my baby into a sitting position so she can lean on me for support. Joshua is the most stunned. He gawks at Brianna without saying a word. I arch a questioning brow at him and he shrugs. He wanted to meet her and now he has, he should quit acting like a chicken. She’s weak, yeah. A bit wobbly too but it can’t be as bad as he makes it seem. She will be okay.
“Hey,” he says to her, taking one of her hands.
The twins sandwich themselves beside their sister, face lighting up with indescribable joy. Brianna doesn’t reply to his greeting, her eyes linger on his face, then fall to the twins. “Hello,” she whispers.
Wyn screams. Bren yells, “Daddy. She spoke.” She did and I know that because I am right beside her. Their happiness spreads to me, I manage to smile. “Can you say apple? A-p-p-l-e. Apple. Can you say it?”
“Hello,” Brianna replies instead.
Bren shakes her head, she leans so close her breath fans Brianna’s face. I nudge her shoulder gently, she smiles at me and almost immediately mutters, “Okay. Say Bren. That’s my name. Brenwyn but everyone calls me Bren.” She darts Wyn and Joshua a bored glance. Wyn is still quiet. I think she might pass out from shock. “And that’s my sister. Our sister, Wyn.” My heart does a funny little dance. Joshua grins at me over their heads and I smile like the proud father I am. “And that’s Uncle Josh. He likes apples.”
Wyn says, “Say Wyn.” Her mouth moves into a funny shape as she lays emphasis on her name. Brianna looks away from them to me and I realise their time is up. “Daddy, why won’t she say my name?”
Her eyes well with tears, Joshua grabs her from the bed and I send him a grateful smile. Brianna can’t say her name because she can’t fully speak yet. It might take a while but I don’t know how to say that to any of them without breaking down. I am tired too. I send Mia a message and Bren touches my cheek.
“Don’t be sad, Daddy,” she says. I am not sad. I am simply not happy. I put my phone away and smile at my little princess. She crawls to my laps and tugs on my beards. “My sister will be fine.” I nod. She will be. Brianna’s eyes are closed, I place a kiss on her forehead and Bren mimics me. I chuckle. She pouts.
I only leave Brianna’s side when Mia returns to the room. With Bren hoisted on my laps, I join Joshua outside. He’s whispering to Wyn who has her head on his shoulder and her thumb in her mouth. I snicker when she lifts teary eyes to me. Big girl indeed. The twins yawn at the same time, Joshua and I chuckle and carry them to their room where they demand kisses from both of us before letting us leave.
We enter my office in silence, Joshua offers me a glass of water from the dispenser. I finish it in a gulp, he refills it and I sip slowly. “How do you feel?” he asks as he slides into the seat across mine. I shrug. The windows are open, I force myself to enjoy the view or pretend to. “You are not going to at least call or text her?”
I shake my head. If she apologises to me, I might reconsider selling the shares back to her. “Cheer up, it’s not the end of the world,” I say, more for my sake than his. He rolls his eyes, I throw my legs on the table and his lips pull into a scowl. “She’s one annoying woman,” I whisper. I am yet to reply to her email about the number of guests we should have at the twins’ birthday. How she expects me to act normal after her stunt is beyond me. I take another sip from the glass. “What do you think?” Joshua frowns. “Of Brianna.”
“She's alright,” he drawls out in a funny accent that makes his words come out as one and we burst out laughing. When we are composed, he says, “I don’t know what to think. She looks like you. Very much.”
Not the answer I was hoping for but I’ll take it. I clasp my hands behind my head. Joshua continues, “What are your thoughts on reality shows?” I have none. He takes my close-lipped smile as an answer. “There’s this one. A dating show.” My legs drop from the table, his fingers circle the rim of his empty glass. “It premieres next year. Couples come on the show, go on dates without seeing their partners–”
“Interesting,” I say since I've been too quiet. Reality shows are not my cup of coffee. “Are you interested?”
He stops moving. His eyes flicker to mine and uncertainty flashes across his face. “I received an invite but I haven’t replied. What do you think? I am not interested in the money, half of it already goes to charity but if the contestants are lucky, they will walk away with something more. Like a life partner.”
“So you want to go,” I finish for him.
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
I move to the edge of the table and sit a few metres away from him. “What’s the name of the show?”
“Blinded,” he replies without meeting my gaze.
“You have my blessing if that’s what you are asking,” I say. He scoffs. I ruffle his hair, causing strands to fall over his forehead and his laughter dies off. Because he hates it when I do that, I ruffle his hair again.