Sophia is still not picking. I pinch the bridge of my nose and release my breath slowly. It can’t be that bad. If he releases the video, I will get a few hate, maybe more than a few but there’s nothing to it. It will pass. A lot of people have videos of them spurting their cum over other women’s faces all over the internet.
Yeah, right.
The slab that separates me and Enzo is still up, I don’t need him offering me pitiful looks but my nerves are frayed to the point I’ll accept a smile from him. Sophia’s text comes in seconds later, I look out the window to see her waving at me. I take a moment to study her and my chest tightens with each second. I get out of the car to wait for her.
This lady has been my friend for so long. She knows almost everything there is to know about me, she won’t do something as stupid as giving him that video. She won’t betray me. I should have asked her to delete it. I kick the tire of the car and let out a silent yell.
If Enzo hears me, he remains as quiet as he was when I stepped out. Sophia hurries to me, her hand on my shoulder stops me from doing something crazier. I slick my hair back as she moves beside me to rest her weight on the car. The battle inside me worsens, I am a dynamite of emotions waiting to explode.
Cars. Ambulances line the hospital garage. My mind spirals with images of us rushing into a setting like this with Sofie and leaving with Brianna. Sophia shoves her hands into the large pockets of her coat.
“Sorry I missed your call.” I don’t look up from the pile of snow on the floor. “What’s going on?”
“You tell me,” I reply. With my hands in my pockets to protect myself from the chill air, I push forward so we are toe to toe with each other. “How was your date?” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and shakes her head. The gesture annoys me. My brows draw together. “How was your date with Vincent?”
She bounces and her heels screech against the slippery floor. She is the only doctor I know who wears heels this much. “The second date didn’t happen.” I run my hand over my face and blink foolishly at her. Vincent could have gotten the video on their first date. There was plenty of time for that. “I cancelled.”
If she cancelled, why didn’t she say it sooner? I kick a harmless block of snow out of my way. It snowed a bit on our way here. The weather has been erratic. Mostly unpredictable like all my current misfortunes.
“Why?” She shrugs and my shoulders droop.
I throw my hands over the hood of the car, making random shapes on the snow covered surface. Sophia mimics my stance, silent as I continue doodling. A car outside the hospital gates honks, I eye the flowers lining the white fence with envy. Their blissful existence. They don’t know about blackmails and people like Vincent.
It’s all too much for one person. A sick mother. A sick daughter. A sick father-in-law. A not-so-estranged wife. At what point does the author of my life decide I need a break?
“Vincent has the video.” The girls’ faces fill my vision and my spirit comes alive. I’ll be fine. “The one from the club. The night you visited.” Her intake of breath has my eyes fluttering open, I sigh again. “Yeah.”
The cold becomes insignificant as we mull over my statement, I prop my jaw on the cold surface and a chill skitters down my body. I will give all of these up for one moment of peace. The cars. The company. I want it all gone for a long overdue moment of peace. A night with my wife after a full day with the girls.
If this is karma, I have paid my dues and some. My eyes sting from the particles in the air, the chilly air bites my skin and I shudder. We should seek refuge inside the car or anywhere warm but the idea of freezing to death becomes more appealing. Dead people have no worries but what happens to my little girls? El?
Snow begins a slow descent from the sky but we remain there. I am here but not entirely here. A part of me is missing. Each time El and I fight, I lose a bit of myself. That woman owns me. Mind, body and soul.
Leaving only a foot of space between us, Sophia wraps her arms around herself. “Is he blackmailing you?”
My hand comes down on the rooftop of the car twice. “I wish he was.” But he isn’t. Blackmail is too easy, too cheap. He will undo me slowly until I make another stupid mistake. “He will make me suffer. I guess,” I add with a shrug, pulling off the nonchalant attitude effortlessly. “Did you send it to him?”
“No. I deleted it as soon as I left the club.”
The club. The fucking damn club. Tiredness curls around my spine, I pull the door open and sit at the edge without offering her a seat. She rolls her eyes but stands in front of me, hands tucked in her coat.
“I’m selling it.”
My words come as a surprise to me, I shake my head to rid my hair of snow particles. Sophia does the same, I scuttle inside and she joins me. Rubbing her hands for warmth, she throws me a glare when I snicker.
Seconds after the heater is turned on, we let out a collective sigh of gratitude. “Why?”
If I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t have gone there. If I hadn’t gone there, Vincent wouldn’t have anything on me.
“Because it’s not fair to El.” She frowns, I frown. El’s only complaint happened the first and last time I took her there. She cares less what I do with the place. “I am getting rid of everything from the past.”
“Including me?” she jokes.
Our laughter smoothens the wrinkles in the thick veil of melancholy hanging over us, I cross a foot over my knee to trace the tip of my shoe. Only two people have the video. El and Sophia. Make that El since Sophia deleted hers. I stop my thoughts from straying further. El and Vincent have no business together, yet he is on her Instaagram. Because of the charity. She also put up her pictures with others who donated. It was an event bigger than my beef with Vincent, the highest donor of that night.
I swipe my hands over my knees. I have another call to make. To Sophia, I say, “I have to go.” She nods. “Take care of yourself.” Her smile is fleeting and a funny feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. I have not been the best of friend to her but she’s always here. On all the good and bad days. “Stay safe.”
“You too.” Sophia opens the door without stepping out and a cold gush of air sweeps in. “Brandon, don’t do anything rash.” Her hand lingers on the door, she murmurs, “Vincent is not a bad person. He just has a lot of stuff to deal with.” Snickers lodge in my throat, I tap a finger to my knee. “Talk to him again.”
For the sake of our friendship, I let her comment slide. I am the one who has a ton of shit to unpack, not him. I look out my side of the window, not a word said as she exits the car. The snow is pouring harder, not hard enough to affect our drive home but enough to make pedestrians consider stepping out.
The car starts on my order, the ride home is in silence. I step out of the car without entering the house. Instead, I make myself comfortable on the stairs leading to the front door. My hand trembles as I pull out my phone. El’s number is at the top of the list but fear of the unknown stops me from doing anything. Vincent is with the video, it doesn’t matter who sent it to him. I hit the call button and hold my breath until the line connects.
“Hey.” Vincent can’t get to her so fast but I hear myself asking, “Where are you?”
El’s responding laughter chills me to the bones, she says, “I’m giving the phone to Ma.”
Hushed tones in the background filters into my ear. I don’t get a chance to state my case before Ma’s voice comes over the phone. “Brandon,” she drags the word like it tires her. I manage a smile at her tone. If she was here, she might have pulled my ear. “El is at home with me. As you know, her father is sick.”
I don’t know why but her tone sends me into a fit of laughter. She snorts and my laughter quiets down. God. I am going crazy. “I know. I wanted to ask about something else.” She scoffs but I no longer care what she thinks at this moment. I am scared for my wife, rightfully so. “Please give my wife the phone.”
“Your wife?”
“Yes.” I smoothen the lines on my forehead and pull the phone away from my ear to confirm the call is still in progress. “Please give El the phone.” She says something in her dialect and the call ends.
What the–?
The phone slips from my grasp but I catch it in time. I count to ten backwards and my heart slows. My screen lights up with El’s name, I answer without a word.
We listen to each other breathing for about a minute until she says, “If you ask me where I am again, I will never pick your call.” When I don’t react, she continues, “Why are you calling? Are the girls okay?”
What about me? Who cares if Brandon is okay? Don’t I matter?
“They are fine.” I look at the door and smile. They have been indoors since they got back from school. “They are doing great. We miss you.”
A heartbeat later, she says, “I miss them too.” My lips twitch. Only them. “I miss you too. Are you okay?”
I kick off my shoes and fold my legs under me. Snow settles over the surface of the cars. “No. I need you, El.” The office will close for the holidays soon, I want to spend Christmas and other holidays with my wife and kids. “Please, come back to us.”
She sighs. “I will.” Another long moment of silence passes before she asks, “How was your day?” She’s trying to distract me and it is working. I tell her almost everything. From the meeting with Jei to the encounter with Vincent. I am still talking about the video when she curses. At my insistence, she murmurs, “He was with my phone that night.” My heart sinks. Noting my silence, she tries to fix her slip up by saying, “Only for a few minutes.”
A few minutes long enough to send the video to himself. My shoulders sag in defeat, my mind shuts down. I turn at the sound of the door opening, Wyn and Bren step out with a grin that forces one to my lips.
“I have to go,” I say. I cut short her apology to add, “It’s fine.” It’s far from fine but the deed is done. She never listens to me anyways. I jump to my feet to avoid the girls launching themselves at me. At their squeal, I place a finger against my mouth. When El asks if I am alone, I answer, “Yes. I have to go. Bye.”
“Was that Mummy?” Wyn asks with her hands akimbo. Bren stares at me with slight disinterest. I shake my head. Their hair is in two parts, I ruffle a section to distract them from asking more questions. They stand on each side of me, watching the snow pile up. Wyn taps me. “Do you want to build a snowman?”
No. No snowman.