Seconds after the call, I remain on the couch, feeling like an asshole. I was too harsh. Maybe I wasn’t harsh enough. El has always been a cry baby. She is the type to cry when shouted at even when at fault.
I groan into my palms. I never wanted this.
Faint footsteps echo in the background, I straighten up and force a smile on my lips when I see Bren. She stops in front of me and my heart breaks at her tear-filled eyes. I am not given a chance to talk, she crawls to my laps and hides her face in my chest. My arms tighten around her, I rest my jaw on her head.
“Don’t be so mad at Mummy,” Bren says against my chest. After the initial annoyance of knowing she eavesdropped passes, my hands flatten on her lower back. She looks up to me. I try and fail to smile. Her brown eyes so eerily similar to El’s peer deep into my soul and I press a kiss to her hair. “Please. Forgive her.”
Like she forgave me for stepping in to help her company. “Okay, Princess. Okay.” Bren pushes herself up to peck me on the lips and her arms lock around my waist in a firmer grip. “Daddy will forgive Mummy.”
I pick my phone to call El but every time I want to tap on the call button, something stops me. Bren’s snores have my lips curling in a small smile, I lift her gently to take her to her room. The call to El can wait.
* * *
The weather has been cool. El should be returning soon. I would know for sure if I wasn’t such an ass to her. It is awesome and awful at the same time. To move about my life without a care for any woman’s feelings. The last time she called me, I barely got a complete sentence out and she had to end the call.
Bren has been watching. She tries to put me on every time her mother calls. I manage to be polite. But she knows all is not well and has taken up that responsibility to fix us. I hate myself for being the type of parent who needs to be fixed by their kids but I can’t forgive her. All the lessons from therapy have been replaced with memories of our separation. The wasted efforts. Years I begged her for a second chance.
Forgiveness is for my sake but I can’t forgive her.
I warm my hands on the car vent while going over the conversation I hope to have with Vincent. I am taking Sophia’s advice to speak to him again. Few weeks have passed since that meeting at the restaurant. Brianna will be fifteen in less than two months time, I am undecided about throwing her a small party.
Vincent will never find out about her but I want the constant looking over my shoulder to end. Since the girls resumed school, they have had people watching over them. I don’t want them to grow up that way.
For someone who makes so much noise about being a better parent, I am doing a shit job at it.
The ride to his office is spent thinking and thinking. How hard can it be to tell him to fuck off? I miss my turn a few times and almost crash into the car in front of me. Curses fly in the air but I am already speeding past the driver like he doesn’t matter because he doesn’t. Why does he have that piece of crap on the road anyways?
At the gate of Vincent’s company, I delay to answer the brown-skinned guard. He knocks on my window again and I roll it down. Fucking protocols. I tap on the steering without a word to him, he narrows his eyes and I shrug. I don’t have an appointment but I’m not turning back without seeing his idiot of a boss.
“Name?” he growls out.
“Brandon Stark,” I tell him with a calm I don’t feel.
We stare at each other for what might have been minutes, he says something into the phone attached to the shoulder pad of his uniform and nods. The gate rolls back and I drive in to find a spot among the rows of cars sitting nicely. The space reserved for the CEO is empty, I direct my car to that spot and park.
I wipe my clammy arms on my slacks and get out of the car with only my phone. The job is simple, get in, discuss and get out. The phone rings right as I am about to step into the building, a frown takes over my lips at the name showing on my screen. I feel a headache brewing at the sight of her name.
What does she want from me?
“El,” I say into the phone once I pick.
That awkward pause ensues, she says, “Hey, Brandon.” I start counting. If she doesn’t state her reason for calling in five seconds, I will hang up. “I... I just wanted to let you know I’m in town. Just got back.”
A sound comes out of my throat. I should ask about her trip or show some excitement about her arrival but I am numb. I wanted to be the first one she called once she arrived, not anymore. Using my shoulder to open the glass door with the logo of Vincent’s company emblazoned in blue colour, I head straight to the receptionist to prevent a scene. She smiles. I hold a finger up to stop her from speaking.
El takes my silence as a cue to continue. She is so soft spoken I almost miss her words. “Are you busy?”
I splay my palm on the wooden surface. “Yes.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The receptionist smiles at me and I force a small smile to my lips. I can’t read the name on her tag but it’s something with an M. I slide my card to her and point in the direction of the elevator. She shakes her head.
“Do you have an appointment?” she mouths.
I pull the phone away from my ear to reply, “No. But your boss wants to see me.”
Stepping away for more privacy to continue my call, I lean against the tiled walls to keep an eye on the receptionist. El’s breathing reminds me the call is still in progress, I let out another sigh. I am tired.
“What do you want, El?”
The receptionist dials someone I hope is Vincent’s PA or Vincent himself, she sends me a subtle nod and I saunter to the elevator. El huffs in my ear as I punch the button to the last floor. My office is on the last floor, I hope it’s the same with him. If it’s not, I can start banging on all doors until I find the right one.
“I’m sorry, baby.” I am not her baby, I am not even her husband. I don’t know what we are at this point. “Brandon, I’m sorry. Please. Forgive me this once. Let’s start over.” El lets out a sound that tugs at my heart. I remind myself of the video and the guilt dissolves. “What else will you have me do?”
Observing my reflection in the elevator wall, I smooth the invisible wrinkles on my jacket. I didn’t ask her to call me, she chose to. She is not doing me any favours, only putting more pressure on me. Now, she’s back, I will have to get someone to watch her because I don’t trust Vincent. His silence might be part of his strategy.
With this thought in mind, I ask, “Where are you?”
“The house. Are you coming?” Mirthless laughter spills from my lips, she lets out a defeated sigh. The elevator door slides open. “I don’t know what else you want me to do. How long are you going to keep this up?”
I step out of the elevator and stand in the middle of the corridor with one hand in my hair. There’s only one door on this floor and my breathing slows at the thought of going in. Once I walk in there, nothing will be the same again. My dear Elna started this. Everything is her fault. She doesn’t ever listen to me.
“As long as I can,” I mutter.
Her reply takes longer to come, I am convinced she ended the call but her voice filters into my ear once more. “As you wish, Brandon,” she retorts. I don’t say a word. “Baby, please.” I grunt something about being late for my meeting, El sighs again. “I’m picking the girls up. You can have them by Monday.”
The call ends, I shake my head and pull out my contact list. There are two guys assigned to the twins, a bit extreme but I am not taking any chances. I send a text to one of them to change location. El is my least favourite person right now but she is under my care. I take a deep breath and start for the door.
It ends today.