Chapter 64
***Larissa***
Logan apologised and pleaded with me to be his mate but I couldn't. The moon goddess would have done me the favour of being mated to him in the past, not anymore. I had someone else. I had Jack. Although it was Logan I loved, I didn't want to be with him.
What if he only grasped the opportunity of being his second chance mate to use me? If he loved me he would have come for me back then, not now. Barging in my life suddenly just made it weird. So he had to wait to be betrayed or till his father was dying to find me? It was sus. It was a setup to get me to heal his sick father and then kick me out. I'd rather treat the peasants than the old man. He deserved to die. He made my life a living hell.
The thoughts that I might be just a second choice infuriated me and fueled my misery.
“I'm only a substitute. Yes, no matter how you try to sugarcoat it, that's what I am. You never would've thought of me if you didn't need my help,” I said. My voice wavered while anger crushed my emotions.
“I've always had you on my mind! Did you think you were the only one who suffered? Do you know how broken I was when I found out you had gone. I sent guards to look for you but you were gone. Without a goodbye. I spent nights waiting for you to come back, I went to–” his voice faltered.
“I went to our love nest, hoping to see you waiting for me with a smile on your face. You know how much I loved you,” he said.
“Easy for you to say. You promised me. You said you would never let anything or anyone come between us. You said you'll reject anyone that wasn't me and I held onto those promises like they were my last breath. You had everything, everything. No one respected me, they hated me. I believed you wouldn't thrash what we had until that day when she came to you like an homeless puppy–”
“She’s not a homeless puppy, don't say anything about her. You don't know Alvina,” Jason warned.
“She tortured me, Logan. That much I knew and yet you chose her over me. It could've been someone else you know.”
Tears pricked the corner of my eyes. My doubt was clear. I was the replacement. I would never be more than that. After everything she did to him he still safeguarded her!
“You still love her, don't you? Get away from here Logan. I'm done with this conversation.”
He blanched, startled by my response “I didn't say it was over. I'm still talking.”
“You can't make me do what you want logan,” I spat.
“I'm the Alpha. You're in my wolfdom. You get to listen to me.”
Colour drained from my face and I cowered as his statement reverberated in my head.
“Screw you logan.”
He paced the room with his hands crossed to his back.
“You're very stubborn Lissa. Really stubborn. I said I don't want to talk yet you keep making things severe. I'm sorry I raised my voice but you can't dismiss me on my watch. Never. Listen to me, then speak and I will leave you alone.”
I was happy Alvina was out of the picture but I still found myself sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't hold back my feelings and my body had a way of betraying me. I quivered with every sob and pushed Logan away when he wanted to console me. I didn't need his pity.
“I don't want to be your fallback option, logan. I'm more than that, worth more than that. I deserve more than that. Everyone put me through a lot of difficulties here. Would you have ever thought of me if someone else could do it?”
“Larissa please, let's not go back and forth in this conversation. Weigh it from both perspectives and try to understand me. I can't alter fate, I can't undo the past but I'm ready to make things right now. Please. I know you don't believe me and I'm not going to coerce you into believing me but please, this once I ask that you trust me,” Logan pleaded as he searched my eyes for a glint of understanding.
I swallowed hard. I couldn't trust him again but I didn't say so.
“Fine,” Logan said, “I understand you. It's fine with me if you reject me and return to the human world. I'm not going to be selfish although I could keep you here till forever. But please Larissa, heal my father. Then if you're still hellbent on leaving afterwards, I won't stop you. It's not a promise, it's my word and I stand by it.”
“You’ll let me go, you won't kidnap me nor will you ever threaten me again. Agreed?”
He smiled, “You have my word.”
I got on my feet and reluctantly shook his outstretched hand, “Fine”
Logan sealed our gazes, his mesmerising eyes boring into mine, searching. His eyes seemed to be every colour as the light reflected on it. They were really pretty.
I tried releasing my hand from his but he held it firmly.
“Larissa. All I want is for you to be happy, nothing more. Even if it's without me and you really seem happier. I'm sorry for every pain I've caused you and every inconvenience I'm putting you through right now. Please.”
I nodded and yanked my hands. How I wanted to tell him about life, about the human world. How I wanted to tell him how broken I was that he wasn't with me when I was pregnant. How I wanted to tell him about our three beautiful children. I thought about them and suddenly felt unhappy.
I might never get to see them in months, and Jack must be so worried about me. I didn't even see my phone else I would have tried to reach him. But then he would come searching for me and I couldn't let him know who I was. Yet. I was sure I could heal the alpha within months, all I needed was to run a series of tests, find out the cause of his ailment and put him on treatment. If this was the only thing I could do for Logan, then I would. And then I'll reject him and leave. I'll go back to my family.
“Fine. I'll treat your father and if he survives, I'll leave.”
The contract was sealed. Now I had to work towards it.