“What’s the song that you’re saying a while ago?” Gray asked as he wrinkled his brow. He held me in my waist while my arms were circled around his neck as we danced to the sweet music being played.
In the end, it was Gray that won. Of course, I don’t want another scene so Ethan and I both let it go even though Vivian doesn’t want to let it go. Well, they might be fighting right now since they’re both gone in the party.
“You are not really going to talk to me?” He hissed because I am still ignoring him. “C’mon!” He stopped swaying and pulled me closer to him where I could already taste his mint breath.
“What do you want me to do, please, babe?” He sighed as he caressed his back. “Please, talk to me.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to tell him. I want to cry in front of him, tell him everything that’s bothering me but I was so afraid that he wouldn’t get it. I was so afraid that everything that’s bugging me is true. It’s killing me.
I let go of my hands from his arms as soon as the sweet music stopped playing.
“Don’t walk out on me,” he ordered. “Talk to me!”
I glared at him to stop him from making a scene on his grandfather’s birthday as people started seeing us. I even heard them talking about us a while ago especially with the scene that Gray created. I never saw their faces but their stares were killing me. It’s bothering me. What are they talking about? Are they comparing me with Vivian? Damn!
I didn’t say anything and went out of the garden going to the back of the hotel pretending to look for the comfort room. Gray followed me until we reached the parking lot. He kept on calling me as I tried to push him away.
I stopped when he blocked my way.
“Are you going home? I’ll drive you home!” He insisted.
“I am going to the comfort room.” I lied because the truth is that I want to get out of the place already.
I was already done with my set and the people were only gossiping, talking, wasting time, catching up with each other, and my presence was no longer needed. Although, it would be rude on the part of Grandpa as he requested my presence so I am trying my best to finish the event. But, it was really hard for me to see Gray as of the moment as well as to see Vivian who seems to still have feelings for Gray.
“Why aren’t you talking to me?” He pleaded.
I sighed and decided to face him as I could never hide from him. I need to address this right now because I am already exploding inside.
“Are you still mad because I lied about Vivian?”
“Is there anything I should be pissed off aside from that?” I raised my brow. “Is there anything you want to say about Vivian and you?” I heaved and bit my lower lip. Damn, my tears! I don’t need them now.
“Is there anything you want to say about Ethan and you?” He fired back.
“See? You are avoiding it. You are trying to avoid it!” I raised my voice as I am getting frustrated with this again.
“I am also asking you. Am I not allowed to ask?” He bit his lower lip and I could see how pissed he was. Well, we are just the same! He isn’t the only one!
“Ethan and I met when we were in college. We were schoolmates since your brother got his second degree in the same university where I got my degree and I will admit that he tried to court me,” I started explaining hoping that after this he would also explain his side and he will remove all my doubts about him.
“He did, but I wasn’t interested in him.” I confirmed.
I was never interested in any guys because I was hoping to meet him during those times and right now, I no longer think if my younger self would be happy I’d wish to see him. Expectations really are far from reality.
“What about the coffee he sent? How many dates did you and Ethan have? Why does my grandfather seem to know a lot about you and Ethan?” He continued asking.
“We became friends and spent some time together. He did send me coffee whenever I was busy or if he felt like I was stressed. That’s how nice your brother is,” I told which somehow I regretted because I saw the dark that crossed his eyes.
“Really? Just that and you already assume he’s nice.” He frowned.
“He was nice to me and he still is, okay?” I answered with frustration. “I used to have gigs in a bistro where he usually spent time with his friends and he was with your grandfather where he introduced me. Then, after that, your grandfather sometimes visits the bistro and we’ll have a conversation.”
“Just that?”
“The rest, you can ask Ethan. I don’t know what he told your grandfather, okay?” I impatiently told him. “Now, that’s it. Okay?”
“Do you have constant communication even after college? How did he get your number and how come he was able to--”
I stopped him because I felt like I knew where this was going. He thinks that I am cheating or if not, I will do what Vivian did to him.
“We cut ties after college. I never saw him again. He called our common friends to ask about me because your grandfather requested for me. That’s all. What do you want to hear?” I brushed my hair and was so close at punching him. I really need to vent my anger at something else.
“Do you like him?”
“Seriously?” I lifted my brow and scowled. “I wouldn’t be standing in front of you now if I liked your brother because I would probably choose him before I even met you!”
I turned my back to him and decided to go back and finish the event. Ugh! If only Dave was here, then I'd have someone to pick me up. Why does he need to go? I could no longer ask Ethan to drive me home and I don’t want Gray. I hate myself.
“Please hear me out…” I stopped when I felt his voice weaken. “You promise me, right? Remember your promise?”
I closed my eyes and heaved. I did remember that and I wished I hadn’t promised that. Is this love? Does love hurt so much like this?
“Do you love her?” I asked, without turning my back and almost cried when he hugged me from my back. No, I already cried. My tears were already falling from my cheeks.
“Why would I be here with you if I love her?” He whispered.
“You, being here with me doesn’t mean you are over her. Maybe, you are just pretending…” I told him as I faced him.
His gaze softened as I stared at him. He caressed my cheeks, wiping my tears. Gray’s lips parted but there were no words. Instead, he hugged me.
“You are not answering the question, Gray!” I pushed him away.
“Babe…” He tried to hold me but I shoved his hands away and stopped him.
“The question is answerable by yes or no. How hard is that?”
He shook his head and from the look in his eyes, I confirmed, he wasn’t really over her. How could he be over her when they’ve been together since high school? They were each other’s first like what he told me. She was the girl Gray planned the future with and she was the girl Gray spent half of his life. How can I beat that? After all, she was also the girl Gray wanted to marry before he caught her cheating with his brother.
You cannot move on with that so easily. So, it was already clear that he might like me...but he didn't love me, not even close as he loved Vivian.
“You are lying to yourself, Gray.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Deanara,” He bit his lower lip and tears started to fall from his eyes.
“You cannot lose something you didn’t even love from the start, Gray.” I smiled a little. “Find me when you can already answer my question because I love you, Gray.” I confessed.
“I love you, so don’t ruin me.”