“Ethan?” I was surprised to see him outside our faculty at this hour.
I checked my watch and it’s already past lunch. I was about to go to the club room to check some stuff since I don’t have my class yet.
“What are you doing here?” I added.
He smiled at me just like how he used to when we were still in the same university. It’s the playboy smile...as what my friends used to call it everytime we see him smiling at me...yeah, I guess it was only for me. I don’t know. I was so used to seeing him smile at every girl on the campus, and I could say that he’s smile is different from how he smiled at me. I felt the warmth everytime he smiled at me...like it was so genuine compared to other girls.
Honestly, for once, I considered him. That maybe, I could change him and his ways about love and the way he deals with girls although I was terrified and scared to get hurt so I never tried it with him. Maybe, I did feel something for him. I did. Although, I never paid attention to it because I never believed a playboy could change. Well, Vivian made him change. I guess since she’s the only girl in his life now compared before that there are a lot of girls lingering around Ethan’s life.
“Just like the old times.” He raised the cup of a latte from my favorite coffee shop and a paper bag which contained my favorite donut. He really knew me. He is indeed the one that got away or maybe the guy.
“Sending you a coffee as an apology for what happened in the event.” He pouted. “I really don’t know that my brother is your boyfriend.”
Ethan sighed and I could feel that a lot of things were bothering him. He might not have said it yet I know that it’s Gray. I couldn’t believe that something like this happened to him. I couldn’t blame him. I know what they did to Gray was grave and wrong enough for Gray to hold a grudge. But then, why is it that he’s only holding a grudge against his brother and still keeps on entertaining Vivian. Ugh! I hate to think about this. I couldn’t blame them both. Love ruined them and I hope it will not ruin me...or us.
“I am also not aware that you are Gray’s brother. How did it happen?” I scowled. How come I never knew it? I should have stalked him before so that I’ll know, but he’s so private just like me. I also don’t want a lot of people to know about my life.
“We came from one womb,” he smiled a little. “Did you two fight? Vivian and I fought.”
I shrugged. Yeah. I guess so if you call that a fight or an argument. We both sighed and eventually laughed upon realizing how we’re both miserable right now.
I grabbed the latte and sipped as we walked to the bench. We sat there while watching the students passing in front of us. Some of them even looked at us when they recognized me as their instructor. I taught Literature subjects in the University since I majored in Literature here while taking Architecture subjects in Spain during vacations. I even took the licensure examination for architects in the country and passed it. Now, I feel like going back to Spain and just stop teaching.
“May I ask something?” I glanced at Ethan.
He nodded.
“What happened between you and Gray?” I asked though I am already aware yet still I want to know the whole story.
“What else? He’s mad at me because Vivian chose me over him and right now, for sure, he wants to kill me because he learned that we know each other. I hate how there’s always a girl between us.” He groaned in frustration. “I hate how we always like the same thing.”
“Well, that’s tragic,” I said, not really knowing what to say. “But, how did it happen? Vivian really cheated?”
“I guess it was also my fault because I let it happen,” Ethan started talking. “Gray and Vivian were close when they were in high school. I see her as a little sister and I never really cared about her as a lady. Although, she admitted that she had a huge crush on me when they were in high school.”
“Woah, really? You’re that handsome,” I joked to ease the moment.
“I am more handsome than Gray,” he hissed.
I shrugged because I wouldn’t admit the fact that Gray’s more handsome than him. I am being biased. They have different qualities but they are both handsome. Gray’s cooler though and Ethan is really hot. Must be the reason why they also won’t get along.
“Going back to the topic,” he said after sipping his latte. “Gray courted Vivi when they started college and they became together. Never really cared since I was busy paying attention to you,” He emphasized that while glaring.
“Are you aware that you really hurt my feelings before?” He rolled his eyes. “You were the first girl that made me want to change myself.”
I stared at her and almost choked upon confirming that it was real. Okay, my mind was already playing what-ifs when it should not be playing anything. Ugh! What-ifs can kill us, too, sometimes.
“Should I be touched?” I joked.
Ethan nodded. “You should. It’s true.”
I smiled because I no longer know what to say.
“You never liked me before?”
I twitched my lips, thinking if I am going to admit it, though, I chose not to. After all, I don’t really know what I felt for him. I did not exactly pay attention to it.
“You’re not gonna have your answer, dude!” I grinned. “So...continue…”
He sighed.
“Gray went to another country to pursue a short-degree course. It was for two years and Vivian was left here…” He paused.
“And, you two developed feelings?” I said, confirming my hunch. It’s the only explanation unless they are already cheating before Gray left.
“I tried, really did. I ignored her and God knows how I tried...but…”
“But, you still feel in love…” I smiled slightly as I stared into space.
Why is love like this, right? We have a choice. I know that. But, what if we are only choosing our happiness despite the fact that we are going to hurt someone. Are we still going to choose them?
I also tried that. I tried to forget Gray before I could even meet him. I tried to date and I always told myself that I would never see him, but I couldn’t. I am trying to convince myself right now that I am not affected by what happened between us but I couldn’t let it go. Last night was the moment where I confirmed that I do love him. I love him because it hurts.
“How are you and Gray?”
I shook my head. How could I tell Ethan that Gray still loves Vivian? That would ruin them again, not that they are already ruined, but I no longer want to wreck them. How am I going to convince myself that this is nothing?
“I haven’t talked to him since the birthday party,” I replied.
It’s been weeks since that happened. Lyuna and her boyfriend picked me up, so I never got the chance to talk to Gray. He didn’t call me, either. So, I guess that would explain it. He’s still not over with Vivian and we’re over.
Is that it? Are we over? How can I confirm that we are over? Should I ask him or should I just go on with my love and stop waiting for him? Should I start doing it now?
Is this it? Should I go back to Spain and start a life?
“Yeah. He went to Cebu for a project,” Ethan confirmed.
I didn’t even know about it. See, he didn’t tell me although I knew why after what Ethan said.
“He was actually with Vivian.”
“What?” I raised an eyebrow.
Should I be shocked? I mean, what’s new? I felt like they are always together in every project. Why can’t they just get another interior designer? Is she the only one?
“They were together and you are just…”
I rolled my eyes upon realizing. “Why aren’t you with them?”
“What do I know about it?” He frowned. “I am not an Engineer. You know, I am a businessman. I deal with the ins of our business and Gray does everything with regards to the building. Vivian is an interior designer.”
“You should have taken Engineering.” I told him so he would think about it. “I cannot believe you didn’t take an Engineering course considering you run an engineering -- wait…” I stopped. “You are an Engineer.”
I remembered he was taking a second degree in our university after taking a business course and from what I knew it was an Engineering course.
“You are lying.”
“I am not lying. I am not an engineer yet.” He emphasized the last words. “I might have taken an engineering course but I am still not an engineer, Ms. Architect!” He rolled his eyes. “I haven’t taken up the board exam.”
“Why? You are wasting it!” I urged him. “Go, take it.”
“Pressure…” He stopped his sentence for a second before continuing. “Are you even aware that Gray is a topnotcher and the rest of my family?”
My eyes widened because I didn’t know that. I should start searching for it...no, I should start moving on and should not care about it. Ugh!
“Well...you’re great.” I told him. “C’mon, take the board exam and be an engineer. You are wasting it.”
He scowled as he faced me.
“You should be using your degree in Architecture. Do you want to work in our company?” He offered. “I am looking for the best architect and I checked on you. You top the board exam for architects. Companies tried to recruit you after passing it.” He stated.
“No. It’s not my time yet to use my degree in architecture.”
“Why is that?”
I shrugged. “Working in your company would be a headache so it’s a no.”
Ethan chuckled. “Let me know if you already want to become an architect. You are wasting your talent!”
I am not wasting my talent. I am preserving it. Kidding aside, I grew up learning architectural stuff and everything...so before I spend my whole life living with it, I want to try other things.
“Wait,” I looked at him. “What is it that you need?” I asked when I realized that he’s not here just to talk about things.
“It’s not about coffee. You need something from me.” I looked at him with doubt.
“Can I not see you without a reason? C’mon, I just learned your whereabouts. Please, allow me to have a reunion with you.”
I hit him in his shoulder and rolled my eyes. “You are wasting my time. What do you want?”
He sighed. “I always loved the fact that you know me even after all these years.”
“What is it, Ethan?” I seriously asked him.
“Gray…” He started and my heart started to race. “Gray still loves Vivian.”
My jaw dropped for a second and I eventually smiled. This is my confirmation. The reason why he isn’t talking to me now. Maybe they have already reconciled? I don’t know. I am not really sure. But, Ethan knew it, too. He felt it like how I am feeling it right now.
“I know.” I replied with a sad smile.
Ethan glanced at me. “Are you okay with it?”
“Are you okay with that?” I asked him the same question. “They’re together.”
“I am not okay, but, what can I do, right?” Ethan sighed and somehow I felt like he knew he couldn’t do anything because after all he was the reason why they broke apart. Vivian is to be blamed, too. They both chose it. Vivian chose Ethan, so I cannot understand why she is still lingering around Gray.
“Well, you just have to trust Vivian. After all, she chose you over Gray.” I replied. It must be really hard for Gray to face his brother each day as well as Vivian. I don’t know how he could do it. I might have died of too much pain if it happened to me.
“But, can you do something for me and you?” He asked.
“Huh? What would that be?”
I almost fell from my seat when he said, “Can you make Gray fall for you?”