Kendra had seriously had enough.
The heated, stolen gazes, the professional, innocent but desire-packed touches…
It was all a bit too much for the Beta.
Especially when she seemed to be the one suffering the most between the two of them.
For some reason, Killian seemed to have had complete control over himself in all the times they had interacted, but she?
Everything he did had her feeling some type of way…
She felt flustered when he looked in her direction,
She felt cackling sparks of electricity when their fingers brushed each other’s unintentionally,
And gods, don’t even get her started on their sparring sessions.
Kendra was really being tortured.
It was thankfully the end of a long, arduous, week, but oh, the female Beta had a plan.
It had been brewing in her soul all week, so much so that she had carefully given it all kinds of contemplations and assessment.
She had already decided; and no one was going to be able to change her mind.
Not even Killian.
She needed to get away.
Scratch that, she was going away.
And she knew just the perfect thing.
But it was too late to seek Killian out.
She didn’t think it was such a sensible idea to willingly go out seeking trouble— which was exactly what she was going to get if she convinced herself to venture into his chambers at that time of the night when both their wolves were most active.
So she was going to see him first thing in the morn.
*****
Monday morn dawned bright and early on the Silver Crest Pack house, its brightness rousing Beta Kendra Sullivan from her slumber.
She felt wonderful. Elated. Over the top with joy.
She was finally going to do something productive… gods knew she hadn’t done something like that in a long, long time.
You see, for quite some time now, the young she-wolf had had this feeling that she was settling. Settling into the routine, now less thrilling role of Beta.
It had been drummed in her ears for as long as she could remember that she was destined for great things. Her parents had received this prophecy way before she was born, and when Kendra had managed to attain the role of Beta… a position she had won with her sweat and her blood, she had felt like perhaps she had fulfilled that destiny her parents had been talking about,
But lately, she wasn’t so sure.
She had this feeling of restlessness within her that she couldn’t really explain, and though her situation with Killian was what was mostly pushing her to finally go on this quest, she had to admit that the restlessness and that desire pushing her to do more… to be more, was a close second.
This for her felt like a chance to redeem herself.
But why was she getting ahead of herself though?
She needed to seek clearance from her Alpha and friend first.
With that thought in mind, the Beta made quick work of taking her bath and donning a scuffling attire. She was going to head straight to the sparring area to practice after seeing Killian, and so it felt quite unnecessary to dress up in a gown instead.
Soon, she was standing in front of the door to the Alpha’s study, but for some reason, she just couldn’t bring herself to knock.
The reason was quite obvious, really… and if Kendra wasn’t that stubborn, she might have admitted it to herself.
Just when she finally mustered the courage to deliver that one knock, the door swung open, a surprised Killian shooting her a very puzzled look. “Kendra… what are you doing here?”
She felt that now familiar flutter in her belly as she looked up at his handsome face, and even though everything within her told her to press her lip against his, she only settled for smiling wanly at him. “Can I have a word with you?”
“Uh… sure, come in,” He opened the door wider and gesture for her to enter. She did, but she regretted the action almost immediately, for she had felt his body warmth and had almost jumped his bones right there and then.
Get it together, woman!
She scolded herself sternly and cleared her throat, right as Killian took his seat in the grand chair behind his desk.
She sat opposite him and got right into it.
“I have to go on a quest,” She started, “Now, before you try to say anything… I’ve given this a lot of thought and I have decided. You can’t stop me Killian.”
“I see. What’s this quest about, I can ask that though can’t I?” The broad wolf questioned her sardonically.
Kendra decided to ignore his tone, she wasn’t going to say anything to annoy him. Not yet.
He needed to give her his permission first.
Hell, she wouldn’t even have asked if he hadn’t been her Alpha and if she didn’t need to delegate her duties as Beta to Miguel.
She would have just snuck out in the dark of night, and by the time the Packhouse would have started stirring from their slumber, she would have been long gone.
But that couldn’t be so.
And so now she had to tell him about the quest.
“I’m going to seek out the General of the Curers, Alaric Macintyre,” She admitted proudly, head held high. “And when I do find him, I’m going to make him pay for all the wolves we have lost.”
Killian stared at the dark she-wolf for what seemed like ages, trying to come up with a diplomatic way to say ‘hell no’ without setting her off.
He couldn’t believe she wanted to jump into the midst of danger like that,
No, wait… scratch that, he couldn’t believe that she’d prefer to choose such a dangerous situation over settling with him as wife.
“I see.” He said simply. It was the only thing he could think of to say in that moment.
“That’s all?” Kendra couldn’t help but ask, a surprising pang of disappointment developing in her chest. “So I have your permission?”
“This fight is not your fight, Kendra,” He growled lowly, finally unable to contain the rage that was growing deep within,
“Whose is it then?” Kendra retorted with a huff. “It’s high time we wolves came together and took down our enemies.”
“What do you think the council has been trying to do all this while, huh?” Killian roared. “There are some things that you do not just stand up and jump into, Kendra… you need to make careful deliberations and come to an amicable solution first,”
“And all that while you waste time with your diplomatic bullshit, innocent lives are being lost in the process.”
Hackles raised, eyes narrowed, tempers skyrocketing to the roof… it was pretty obvious that the Alpha and his Beta were not going to see eye to eye on the issue. And it was pretty obvious too that there was more to their little bickering than the offensive strategies of the Council and its approach to the Curers.
Killian decided to voice that part out, willing the anger and the hurt to disappear from his being so he could have this conversation with his mate.
“What about you and me, Ken?” He asked softly, for a second hating how needy he sounded, and he couldn’t help but notice guilt creep into the She-wolf’s features.
“I-I…” Kendra sighed deeply and tried to start again, “Honestly speaking, as much as I care about you, Kill… this is a very difficult decision to make. You know my stance on marriage, and you know my stance on these gods and goddesses. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with all of this.” She confessed softly, leaning in to reach for his hand, “This is why I need to go on this quest, Kill…”
The Alpha stared into her brown eyes. He believed her, but not entirely. There was something she was hiding from him, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment by pointing it out, and so he said,
“Alright, you can go on your trip. Whatever it is that you’re looking for out there, I hope you do find it… and that when you finally decide to return back to me, it is not already too late.” With those words, the proud male wolf squeezed her hand for one last time and stood up, “I wish you a safe trip, but I’m afraid I’ve got to go now, there are a few things I need to attend to. When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow, at night.” Came the reply.
Killian didn’t say anything. It hurt too much to talk right now, and so he just nodded and stepped out of his study, not even bothering to look back. It wasn’t until he had stepped out that Kendra allowed the first stray tear to fall,
Gods… that had been the most difficult thing she had had to endure.
But it needed to be done.