Ryan POV:-
It's midnight and it seems like the bed has lost its comfort and my slumber has been deprived of me. A strange coldness surged in me as I felt… Lonely.
No bickering, no mocks, a pitch silence is spread across the room and an empty stomach.
“What have I done?” I somehow felt alone because there's no one to snuggle close to me.
A numbness took over me as I laid on the bed, frustrated. I put my hand over my face and emit a deep breath.
I shouldn't have said that, no matter what, if anything happened to her, it would be my fault.
“No, she is okay, she is with her sister.” I tried to reassure myself.
But at the same time, some uneasiness and distress lingered in my heart as my heartbeat became faint in dread.
“But what if she is not?”
I sat up and got out of the bed. I went to the kitchen and thought about calling Rebecca.
But after what I told her, I don't think it would be a good idea to talk to her over the phone.
“Should I call her?”
I looked for something to fill my stomach and found the leftover lunch. I sighed as I heated the food and ate it.
I looked at the time, it's 1 am and no sleep was blessed upon me. I don't think I can sleep peacefully until I shrug this uneasiness.
I took the keys of my car and drove off to Marianne's place- even though it was unfavoured and I don't even want to see her face because it will burn me more.
‘But just to catch a glimpse of hers to see if she is okay or not, I have to.’
I stood outside her house as my heart began to beat fast and I felt heartbroken.
I can feel my chest tightened and that overwhelming grief is eating me up. I held my urge to cry inside me and inhaled.
‘Your coldness is contagious, Rebecca, it made me cold too.’
I called Marianne. She picked up the call as I said hurriedly, "I am outside your house. Come. "
I then cut the call and leaned on the wall. I put my hands in the pocket of my trouser and waited for her to come out.
After a few minutes, she came out with a frightened look.
I gave her an icy look and spoke up nonchalantly, "Has Rebecca fallen asleep?"
She gave me a perplexed look and asked, "Why? Isn't she with you?"
I straightened up upon hearing that as my eyes widened.
I stood there, stunned. My whole being stilled as I tentatively asked, "... Isn't she ...with you? "
"No, She left right after your call." She said, God, Rebecca, no.
I cursed under my breath and pulled my hair in tension.
“Dammit.”
I spared a glance at her, she seemed ashamed and she kept looking down. I glared at her and then turned to leave but she called me.
"Ryan." I turned to look at her from the corner of my eyes. She nibbled on her bottom lips and began to say slowly.
"Please… Don't hate Rebecca. It wasn't her fault, she did it for me, Father forced her. Please, she has already suffered a lot, don’t hurt her." She almost begged me.
I narrowed my eyes on her and took a step closer.
“I don’t care what forced her.”
My stare turned into a glare as she took a step back in fear. Her back hit the wall as I put my one hand on the side.
I let out a scowl and said, "And what about the suffering you made me go through? "
"We were left with no choice but to do this." She defended.
"And you left me with so choice but to take revenge." I hissed.
"R-Revenge?" She shuddered in dread. Her breaths became shallow as she was scared.
“Please, Don’t.” She then looked at me for about a minute as tears pricked in the corner of her eyes as I can see the terror residing in her eyes.
“Why not? You guys deceived me after all, you did this to me.”
She then lowered her head as a sad smile formed on her face as she began to say.
"I am your culprit. Take revenge from me for neglecting your love but please spare Rebecca. Please don't give her any more despair." She finished her sentence in a croaked voice.
“I don’t need to hear it from you.” I muttered.
I grit my teeth and pulled away from her. I pulled away and then in a split second, I slammed my hands on the wall,
“But-” Earning a squeak from her as I began to growling at her in a low voice.
"I could have become your redemption Marianne…" I leaned in dangerously close to her face and continued.
"I could have borne the pain of your rejection but.. You broke my heart, you broke everything that pulled me close to you."
She lowered her head in shame and didn't utter another word.
“You murdered my feelings for you that day.” I whispered and got away from her and was about to leave but stopped and glanced at her for the last time.
Filled with broken feelings of betrayal, consternation and resentment and I spoke my words.
"I hate you, Marianne!"
I walked away and was about to sit in my car but I heard her voice.
"It's near. I know where she is. She would be at the beach, closest to my place."
I didn't answer and left.
I was sitting in my car, outside the beach thinking whether I should go and look for Rebecca or not.
Meeting Marianne made all my scars hurt more as the fire inside me became fierce. I banged my head on the steering wheel cursing as the vexation filled me up.
“I would never forgive you… none of you.”
My grip tightened as I felt this unnerving affliction rushing in my veins and stirring my mind severely.
I tried to contain myself but I couldn't do it anymore.
‘I am amazed how Rebecca put up a strong front without getting affected.’
“I hate you all…”
A sob escaped my lips as my heartbeat became unclear and my mind was clouded with extreme misery.
“You took it away from me!”
Tears rolled down my cheek without any halt as the sound of my cries echoed in my ears. My cheeks glistened with tears as I felt losing my last bit of equanimity.
“You razed me…” Felt utterly broken and cheated.
I couldn't bear this feeling anymore as it is taking my life out of me and burning my soul in a fiery fire of hatred which is blinding me and making me lose my track.
I felt lost…
After crying my heart out, I walked out and sniffed and wiped my tears with my sleeves.
I walked and saw the silhouette of a person bending on its knees while facing the sea. When I walked closer, I could hear the sound of loud sobs.
“Rebecca?”
The sound was clear to me and it's enough for me to know that it's Rebecca.
Just like last night, her facades were broken as she can not hide her sorrows behind those cold walls of ice.
“Please… take me… End this..” Her voice came.
She was miserable, maybe even more than me, her whole being was filled with intense despondency as if her last ray of hope was crushed and could kill her anytime.
“Rebe-” I was about to call her but her thundering sound came. Her loud cries filled me as it pricked a needle in my heart.
"I AM SORRY!!" She cried out loud.
There in the gloom she bent her knees, losing all hope and filled with anguish.
‘Are you hurting as much as I am?’
"I AM SO SORRY!! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME ANYMORE!"
I couldn't understand her words, they are unfathomable, I couldn't understand if she was talking about me or rather to herself.
“Please… I can’t take it…”
She lowered her head and I watched her from afar crying her heart out.
I kept staring at her devastation from afar not being able to do anything for her.
“Take me with you. End this…” She sniffed.
I curled my hand in a fist as her loud cries caused a commotion in my mind.
I stood there with two choices whether to console her or leave her in her ravage.
‘That day, I made the biggest mistake of my life and left her.’
...Only if I held my hand out to her and told her that I am here for her. The upcoming devastation would have never occurred, the havoc which isolated us and not matter how close we got, we were miles apart…