As I was watching, Ryan put legs over my laps to which I gasped.
"What the hell?! Remove your legs, Mr Knight." I hissed when his cold feet touched my skin.
He laid on the sofa and put his leg over me and put his hand under his head and closed his eyes.
"I am talking to you, remove them!" I said angrily, raising my voice.
"Shut up." That was his only reply.
I was about to remove his legs but he applied weight on it, making it impossible to remove.
“Hah, weak.” A victorious smirk crept upon his lips, I glared at him but he didn't care and closed his eyes.
I cursed under my breath and turned to my movie.
After a while, I saw him shivering, I put my hand over his feet which were cold as ice.
“I told you to lower the AC temperature but no.” I muttered.
I looked around to find something to cover his feet, he was sound asleep and being a light sleeper, I didn't want to wake him too.
“Tsk, what a pain.”
I tentatively put my warm hands over his feet and squeeze them slightly. I moved my hands slowly as I felt his shivers.
I kept doing this and his feet warmed up soon. I held his feet in my hands and closed my eyes and leaned back and fell asleep too.
The next day, I woke up and found both of us in bed.
I freshened up and did my morning routine. I woke him up,
“Mr Knight. Wake up.” And asked what he wanted and then left to prepare it and came back and helped him to get ready.
“Come down for breakfast.” I said coldly.
I was wrapping the tie around his neck as he asked, "Why did you hold my feet last night?"
"I didn't." I replied without looking up at him.
"Why didn't you leave me in the cold?" He asked, sternly this time.
"If you were awake, you could have gone back to the room." I said, avoiding his question.
“Wasted my effort.”
I secured the tie and turned to leave but he held my wrist. My back faced him, my gaze was fixed on the ground; devoid.
"What are you trying to do Rebecca?" He asked direly.
I also want to know that too.
I didn't reply to him. I sensed him walking close, his grip on my wrist tightened as he turned me abruptly to him.
“Why are you doing this?”
I fell on his chest as my heart skipped a beat. I quickly took a step back, creating some distance between us.
“What do you hope to gain?”
I slowly raised my gaze and met him which demanded answers. I opened my mouth to reply but he said angrily first.
"Don't you dare to say that it's an obligation. Tell me what do you want?!"
He was infuriated but at the same time desperate about something I am not aware of, like my existence is hurting him.
‘It should.. After what happened.’
“Don’t make a deal out of it.” I whispered, refusing to collide with his stern orbs.
It should.. After what happened.
My heart felt feeble, a feeling of sorrow filled me. I lowered my gaze, unable to answer. I could not think of any word that could convince my heart.
“You don’t have to take what I do to your heart.” I scoffed.
‘You give me a loop of despair and serenity, the more I try to isolate myself from this tranquility, the more I am immersed in it.’
And wanting more of it because it made me feel calm yet devastating but the equanimity is of great significance.
“Don’t be so confusing.” I muttered but this sentence meant for my own self.
He yanked me to him and whispered, "What do you want?"
His voice was low but filled with vehement. It deprived my energy, I swallowed hard as my lips began to quiver.
"My pity?" He whispered again moving close.
“My attention?” His face was so close to mine that my heart thumped against my chest.
“My affection?”
"Let go-"
"Shh.. Just Answer. My. Question." He spoke in a deep commanding voice.
I shuddered as a shiver went down my spine, my hairs stood on their edge.
Nothing but those piercing silver eyes of dominance which stared directly at my soul taking my life out of me painfully slowly while disrupting my mind.
“What, you ask?”
But me being me, I have no intentions of subjecting myself to him. I gave him a seething look and hissed.
"I want nothing from a revolting guy like you. What I am doing is nothing but a mere show of responsibilities, if that affects your heart, then it's not my problem.” I growled, crushing the non-existent shred of emotions.
“You can go to hell for all I care." I tried, glaring back into his soul.
He narrowed his eyes at me in disgust and snarled.
"You know Rebecca, Sometimes I wonder how someone can be that fake. Just how much of a scum you are."
“To whom you are so afraid? Why is it so hard for you to accept what you are?” He asked, voice growing husky.
But I know I have reached a point of no return-
“It doesn’t concern you.” -Yet remained stubborn.
He leaned in and continued with his voice laced in venom.
"You are nothing but a coward. Someone who is afraid to open up, running away from herself. Terrified to embrace her own self. You are pitiful."
He pushed me away and left.
“You are nothing but a disappointment.”
My eyes went wide, I stood there staggered, I lost my ability to think, I couldn't move.
“No. I am not.” I whispered, hugging myself.
I felt like I am falling deeper into those bottomless pits of ravage and nothing can help me. Feeling miserable because I know his words held the bitter truth in them.
My heart constricted, feelings too heavy to bear took over me. I closed my eyes as a silent tear rolled down my cheeks.
“Don’t call me that… please.” And the words hit me right in the chest and I felt vulnerable because I cannot deny them.
But it hurt so much because ‘he’ said it.
“Not you…” My voice broke as hearing it from Ryan hurt me more than I could imagine.
I don’t know why but it did.
..You introduced me to myself and left me all alone in my misery to cry upon knowing how much of a low person I am..
Yet I couldn’t deny that I desire your embrace to hold me and say it’s okay.