"Will you miss me?" He asked with a smirk, still his eyes closed. ‘Yes.’
"Why would I?" I muttered, rolling my eyes off.
He opened his one eyes and looked at me. "Really?" He asked again.
"I wanna go back home." I whined leaning back. He hummed and closed his eyes again.
"Ryan!" I whined, pulling the sheets.
"What?" He asked monotonously.
"Ryan!" I called him again, making an almost crying face.
"What?" He asked again.
"Ryan!" I called him again in a whimper, raising my voice. He finally sat up and looked at me with exasperation.
"What is it, woman? Speak up." He asked, slightly agitated, irked at my demeanor.
“If there’s something then say it.” He frowned, motioning to me to continue.
"Nothing." I muttered, rolling my eyes off and stood up.
"What's with you?" He asked, tone softening a little.
‘Don't go.’
“Nothing.” I didn't reply and left the room.
And the day came, I don't want to come, even if it's a few days, I don't want it. I don't want him to go, in his presence I felt calm. I find my vanquished solace.
It’s panicking me to fathom what I will do without him. I cannot imagine what I would do if he wasn't here anymore.
"Take care." I whispered, holding his arm tightly to never let it go.
“Be home soon, okay?” I asked childishly, resting my head on his arm.
“You sure are clingy today.” He giggled and gave me a side hug, kissing my forehead.
“Take care and don’t forget to call me.” I smiled lovingly, not wanting to part my gaze from his keen ones.
"You too." He murmured affectionately and pulled away as we walked out of the room.
With his hand around my shoulder, grinning vibrantly and a certain person cannot stand it.
He then said goodbye to his parents and left.
"Too much affection for the person who betrayed you." Mrs Knight murmured, glaring at me from the corner of her eyes.
"You should have said that on his face." I said coldly and left for our room.
I fell on the bed and stretched my arms out. Without his presence it felt lonely.
To whom I will argue with? For whom I will cook?
Who will hold me close while saying he is here?
An involuntary smile crept upon my lips when I thought about him. I used to have little but silly dreams, I lost them but looks like you found it Ryan.
It feels like I have stopped thinking about those dreams in which you are not present. The faith I don't even have on myself, I have it in him.
“What are you doing to me?” I asked inaudibly.
My heart began to seek him in his absence. His touch made me feel safe. When my fingers intertwined with his, I felt like all the heavens were on my side.
If he is with me, the world doesn't matter. My heart beats faster, the spell he is casting on me is a source of rapture. My breaths want to reside in his heart as if there is no place other than that for them.
His voice is echoing in my mind, giving me endless euphoria.
'I want to become your unsavory redemption'
Oh my God, what is happening to me?
‘Am I.. Falling for Ryan?’
“What the- This can’t be.” Just that thought made my heart skip a beat.
My breath became heavy as some strange sensations took over me. I am becoming crazy. What he is making me feel is beyond my comprehension.
“No, No, No, I can't feel like that for him.” I shook my head, eradicating those thoughts.
But, why? I am his wife. I can
' And what about the heart he gave to Marianne?'
“Stop thinking like this, Rebecca, Ryan will never love you, he just wants to liberate you. He pity you.” I growled, pulling my hair in frustration.
He can't love me. Even if I did, he couldn't.
He can never love the sister of the person he gave his heart to. He cannot love the person who shattered his dreams of having a blessed married life.
“… He ...can't love me..”
A tear rolled down from the corner of my eye. I closed my eyes and curled like a ball, I hugged the pillow close to my chest and nuzzled my face in it and let out soft sobs.
“Why can’t you love me? Why am I so undesirable?”
My heart felt heavy, I felt like my heart was being ripped apart and all I could do was watch it happen as heartbreaking thoughts caused a commotion in my mind.
When my cries died down, I felt nauseous. I sat up and wiped my tears.
A strange feeling took over me as I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I haven't eaten anything yet?
“Fuck.” I wiped my mouth water and gargled and walked out. I felt tired and decided to lay down and rest.
I instantly fell asleep, I was amazed that I managed to have a sound sleep even if Ryan is not here.
Maybe because I slept with the lights on or perhaps I am his room filled with his intoxicating scent.
Ever since my marriage, this is the first time I slept with the lights on.
It was the next day's morning, I was amazed that I slept for that long. I picked my phone and saw there were 3 missed calls from Ryan.
“Oh, shit!” My groggily opened eyes fully opened as I immediately called him back, panicking about him.
“Hello, Ryan? I am so sorry, I was sleeping, I didn’t see the time. Did you reach? Are you at the hotel?” My series of worried questions came hurriedly.
"Hello, Rebecca? I am fine. Are you okay?" Upon hearing Ryan's concerned voice a smile crept upon my lips.
I blushed, realizing how I was blabbering for him. "Yeah.. I was just sleeping.. " I replied, yawning while sitting up.
"How was your flight? Did you reach your hotel?" I asked slowly this time.
"Yeah. I called you but you didn't pick the call." He hummed.
"I told you I was sleeping.. I am not feeling well." I replied, pushing my hairs back, pressing my palm on my heart to feel the swift heartbeats.
"Are you okay? Why don’t you go for a check up?" He asked, worried about me.
"Yeah. I am just tired. That’s all…” I reassured him.
“Really?”
“Yeah… Anyways Ryan." I trailed off.
He hummed in response as. I continued, "I will stay at Marianne's place for today. Can I? Please?"
A pitch silence came, He didn't say anything and it suddenly induced dread.
"Ryan…?" I called his name vaguely to drag him from his thoughts
"Huh? Ah, yes. You can go wherever you want. No need to ask." He replied in a sweet tone.
"Really? Thank you so much." I grinned widely, delighted he understands me and supports me.
We talked for a while, for a good hour and so, only indulging in his voice, in his talks and after the call, I decided to change and freshen up.