I returned home with Robin late at night and he went into his room walking past Mr Jane who was standing by the door waiting for us.
I could see the pained look in Mrs Jane's eyes, I could see her heart also breaking piece by piece, I felt so sad for both of them.
With what I have earlier heard, it also wasn't easy for Mrs Jane, she was seeking almost the same thing as Robin, they were both longing for love.
Robin shut the door and I turned to see Mrs Jane standing by the stairs, staring at Robin’s shut door, she sniffled a cry and I went over to her side.
She closed her eyes slowly like she was suppressing the tears in her eyes, she looked so thin in just what had happened today.
She looked fragile and I can’t imagine the pain she had also gone through in the past, if what Robin had told me was true, if she has become an addict to alcohol then she has also felt so much pain to let that consume her then.
"I am not a good mother Ivana," Mrs Jane said immediately she opened her eyes and I felt like I was going in circles.
First I was consoling Robin and now Mrs Jane, but still, I was glad I was here, at least I should do one thing for them. I should listen even if I don't know all the story, I still understood a little of it.
"No, you are not," I told her as I held her arms. "You should rest now, Mrs Jane, you look tired." She had only just got back and I could tell she has been sobbing just like Robin all day.
Mrs Jane sniffled, her eyes were wet and puffy. She glanced at the door once more before I led her downstairs where I helped her sit on the sofa.
I got her a warm glass of coffee but she didn’t take a sip, she stared down at it with sadness in her eyes.
"I could have done much for him, I should have showered him with my love…" She looked up at me and I shook my head.
"You love him, Mrs Jane, I know you love Robin, why did you lie to him about it?" This was a question I wished to ask her when I got back, I knew she wasn't saying the truth earlier.
"I don't want to lie to him anymore," Mrs Jane pressed her lips together. "I thought having him hate his father would make Benny come back to me, but it only hurt Robin more, now I wish I was the one he hates." She pointed at herself.
"You love him too, at least you should tell him that, Robin is also hurt and hearing you say you kept him only to make Benny stick to you was more hurtful," I told her, I was also angry at her, she loves him also why make him hate her.
"I have no other choice Ivana, I should tell him the truth, all these while we have kept it from him, all these while I felt guilty, if hating me is redemption then it would be okay."
"No, it isn't," I said without hesitation and she looked down. I could already figure out that something wasn't right.
I held her hands as I looked down at her face that was now filled with tears.
"Tell me, what happened while you were away?" I knew this wasn't my place to ask, but I still needed to know why she said all these to him, why she was suddenly asking him to hate her instead.
Mrs Jane was silen²t for a long while, but I waited, I waited to listen when she was ready to tell me.
She looked up at me, her eyes were blurred with tears and I knew what she was about to say broke her heart more than it would do to me.
I wish I had never asked her to say it. I don’t know why my curiosity always gets the better of me. I have no idea how to tell her to not say it. I only watched her lips part as she spoke the words.
"I met him." Tears rolled down her cheeks and she shut them momentarily. "I met Benny," She exhaled softly and I have no idea why I was also crying now.
"He is still the same as ever, Ivana," Mrs Jane pressed her lips together. "I think anytime he sees me, he just hates me more." She shut her eyes as tears rolled down her cheek.
Her lips tremble as they part to speak again. "It is only normal to let him go," Mrs Jane touched her face to wipe the tears that still rolled down uncontrollably.
"I can't get any forgiveness from him, and I don't think I will get any from Robin too," She sobs and her voice was hoarse.
"He will forgive you." I held her hands and assured her, I don’t know why I was saying this but it all came out. "Robin loves you so much Mrs Jane, he doesn't want to hate you, he doesn't want to do that, it is also hard for him."
"I hope he does…"
"But why?" I asked again, I knew there was some truth still not said, I knew there were things she didn't feel like telling me.
Mrs Jane looked at my eyes. "He is not coming back…"
"Who?"
"Benny," her lips quiver as she looked at me. "He would never come to my side," Mrs Jane shook her head. "I did it and he knew about it…"
"You did what?" I can't tell why I was so curious about this matter as if it were my concern, but it was for the person I now love, I thought I needed to know.
Mrs Jane shut her eyes for a while. "That night, we were all having a drink at a party to celebrate their wedding the next day."
Mrs Jane raised her head and her eyes flickered to the stairs. "Benny could drink and not get drunk, he would never sleep with me, not with his clear eyes because he loves my sister a lot, but I met him first before her, I met him first and fell in love with him."
Tears were streaming down my eyes as I listened to all these words she said.
"I put something in his drink to get him to sleep with me, even at that moment, he thought I was her." She shut her eyes.
"He only stayed when my sister left and he felt sorry for me who didn't tell him what I did, he thought it was all his fault that I was pregnant with his child." She looked at me. "Because I lied to him."
I wish I could tell her to stop now, she looked so exhausted and I felt I was doing this to her by asking questions that I shouldn’t have asked, but she went on and I listened.
"He only found out about all my lies after Robin turned four and that was how my secrets were discovered and he left me." Mrs Jane shut her eyes.
"Now tell me, how do you think I deserve to be loved or say I love Robin?" She asked me and I was silently in tears as I looked back at her.
"Even until now, I loved him, but I knew he would never come to my side, not after all I have done, it is only right for me to receive this hatred from the child I should have loved but didn't show it."
I didn’t know what to say, I only sat next to Mrs Jane in silence, this was when I realised that some things should not be known, it would only bring pain to the heart of who it is concerned.
I glanced upstairs, I can't tell how Robin was doing or if he was probably crying but I know that tonight was going to be a sad one for both him and Mrs Jane.
If only it will all be forgotten by sunrise tomorrow, but I know it wouldn't, some things are never forgotten.