CHAPTER 84
MONTANA'S POV
Now back to when Lincoln asked me what was going on at the training center and I told him just fixing some attitude.
I turned back and looked at the lady. She moved back a bit, her head downcast.
"Better," I said to her and walked up to Lincoln, "you want to see me, right?"
"Yes I do," He said, and we left the place together.
"You have changed," he said, and I looked at him with a raised brow, "Reflex… I mean it in a good way.”
"However you mean it, your opinion does not matter", I looked away after saying that as we continued our walk together.
"Let us talk somewhere more private," He offered.
"No, you can say whatever you have to say to me here and now."
I heard him sigh and then stood in front of me, stopping me from walking forward, "Please," he said softly, "Lunch, we can talk over lunch or something."
"I have plans with Finn soon, and I should be leaving in like an hour, so please just tell me whatever you want to tell me," I said to him, looking away.
In my head, I rolled my eyes.
"Look at me!", he said calmly, but it had this effect on me. Like gave me chills.
Of course, I did not look at him, I did not want to look at him.
Maybe it was because it reminded me of the pain he always caused me. Or perhaps it was because, if I looked at him, I would go weak.
"Look at me, Montana."
Fuck it! I raised my head and looked at him.
"Since you want it here, then fine," He said. Just with his voice and tone, he sets my heart at a very high race.
"I am sorry for all the pain I caused you", He started with that first, "I know sorry will not heal the wounds, but I have a lot more to help heal and prove that we can work, we are IT."
"Please Lincoln, I really do not want to do this", I shook my head, not ready for this kind of talk, "If this is about me staying here, the contract is over. We owe each other nothing, you are free to do whatever you want and so am I."
"No, this is about us, this is about me shutting you off, pushing you away, and I want you to know…. No, I need you to know that I. See. You," he said, coming closer to me.
"I am sorry it took me this long to see you," he said, "I was just…", he chuckled here a bit, more of a sad laugh, "Well no one will imagine me being this way, but I was just scared to love that much again, after losing my first love. I had to share her pain when she died, and it was a lot. This is not an excuse for hurting you, Montana."
I finally decided to listen and nodded for him to go on.
"This is me giving you an explanation, which you deserve."
"Yeah," I said softly.
"You are nothing like her, you are, you and I do not want you to change yourself. From the first moment we met, I always knew it was you, but I found faults in you, things to cover up, give excuses of why I should not fall for you."
"When you kidnapped Zane as a teaching", I laughed softly, remembering the first time we spoke face to face.
Lincoln smiled but shook his head, "No, our first night together. The night that made Zane and Zendaya."
"I knew it was you, I have always known it was you, I even told Sean that I felt a spark, but I found faults like saying you are a whore", this shocked me, but I think I understand him, so I let him continue.
"I have always felt it, I don't know, something drawing me to you," He confessed, "I just was scared to accept my feelings, but I do now."
"Lincoln… I-"
"Before you say anything…", he put his fingers up to my lips, shushing me, "before you say anything negative…let me speak."
I looked at him softly and then nodded. He gave a small smile and removed his finger.
"I cannot lose you again. I was going to come back the next day to apologize and tell you how I feel, but you were gone by morning," He said, and I could feel the pain in his voice, could see the pain in his eyes.
"That is why I am doing this now, does not matter, where or when, but I do not want to be late anymore."
I was out of words. I guess he was done speaking but, what do I say because he did it again. He made me weak again, he made those feelings I tried so hard forgetting, come back with so much force.
More especially, he opened up and let me in. In how many words he said, he let me in.
I also felt it. The spark between us, that bond, whatever that drew me to him. I also felt it and right now, I am sure he did too as he came closer, my lips agape.
I gulped, using my mouth to breathe, not sure if my nose was working right now.
He was so close, I thought he would kiss me, but he moved so quietly and softly, passing my cheeks with a brush of his lips, straight to my eyes and whispered, "You can go on your little date with Finn but know this, you are mine, you will always be. And I will make sure of that!"
By now, I was trying to breathe. If that was not enough, I do not know how I was going to control myself around this man, I raised my face for more, but he pulled away.
He had this smirk on his face as he winked and walked away.
It actually made me stare at his form disappearing in awe.
I had a short laugh, with like tears filled up in my eyes but none dropping and with all these emotions I bit my lips, pondering.
I just felt so captivated, like, explaining what I felt, what I feel, is just… I do not know, it is just so difficult to find the right words to explain it.
But, as I watched him walk away, I whispered, "I See You Too!"