CHAPTER6
After I said those words I immediately avoided his gaze. Seriousness was evident on his face the way he utters those. But aside from being serious, there was something on his eyes speaking that it meant something.
Dinadama ko rin ang aking puso na napaka-lakas ng tibok. Why would my heart beat so fast for that simple glance? My heart is also weird.
Nanaig ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. Parihas kaming nakatitig sa mga estudyante na naglalaro ng soccer, kahit tirik na tirik ang araw.
Hindi pa ba sila titigil kakalaro d’yan? The sun was sitting at its highest peak and it is not healthy to stay under the sun for long hours especially at noon. It could be the cause of heatstroke or other sicknesses that could affect their health.
I looked back at Reeve now who’s still watching. He was too immersed in watching and he doesn’t want to be disturbed. Kinuha ko ang tyansa na titigan ang kaniyang mukha na naka side-view.
His side view looks tougher and well defined. When you look on his side you would think that he’s soft kind of person. Reeve's face screams boldness and fierce. You would be intimidated the first time that you would look at him.
Ngayon lang din pumasok sa isipan ko na ang kaniyang mukha ay pamilyar sa akin. I felt like I have seen those somewhere.
Napaisip naman ako sa sagot niya sa akin kanina. Para kanino kaya ‘yon? I was not the type of girl who involves in other people's business because I have also my own business.
It was just. . .kapag si Reeve ang pinag-uusapan parang may sariling connection ang sarili ko sa kaniya.
Does he have special someone in his heart? Or 'yong babae nagugustuhan niya ngayon?
Napailing na lang ako sa iniisip ko. Bakit ba ako nangingi-alam? Eh ano naman ngayon kung may girlfriend siya o wala? O kung may babaeng nagpapatibok ng puso niya? We’re not that close enough to have this kind of conversation.
Hindi ko naman siya gusto or mahal. I only want to befriend him. That's it. Nothing special, besides I am not ready to enter a relationship. My heart is not prepared for another heartache again. Not now, not yet. I can't deal with that and be lost again.
There’s too much damage that my past has been inflicted on me. Dealing with any serious relationship right now isn’t my deal.
"Do you experience being broken-hearted?" I asked out of nowhere without looking at him.
Tapos na kaming kumain at niligpit ko na kanina ang pinagkainan namin.
Matagal bago siya nakasagot sa akin. Tiningnan ko siya at nakita kong nakatingin pa rin siya sa mga estudyangeng naglalaro.
My forehead creased. Favorite sports niya ba ang soccer? Kanina pa siya nakatingin sa mga naglalaro at lahat ng mga galaw ata nila ay ino-obserbahan niya.
"Why'd you ask?" he replied and took a glimpse of me. Pero hindi rin 'yon nagtagal at agad niyang ibinalik ang kaniyang tingin sa mga estudyante.
"I just want to ask,” I remarked.
I bet he’s not. There’s no way in hell that Reeve would be broken-hearted. Hindi ata siya ang nasasakatan. . .baka siya ang nanakit.
Pareho na kaming naka tingin sa mga naglalaro ngayon. Grabe, kanina pa sila d’yan pero hindi sila matitigil sa paglalaro. Hindi ba sila napapagod? Kahit tanghali na naglalaro pa rin.
Naramdam kong nakatingin siya sa akin, ayaw ko siyang tingnan, sa tuwing tinitingnan ko siya mata lumalakas ang tibok ng puso ko.
"It is so unusual that you would ask that question," ani nito sa malalim at mariin niyang boses. I can also feel that he is still looking at me.
I look at him. This time I'm serious, not minding my heart who beats so fast.
“Yeah, it was weird to ask you that kind of question out of nowhere,” wika ko sa mahinang boses. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya ang tinatanong ko nito.
Maybe because he’s a boy. I would like to know the perception or their sides when they experienced being broken. Kasi, puro babae ang pinapakinggan kapag nasasaktan. Puro point of view ng babae, ni kahit kalian hindi pa ako nakarinig ng side ng mga lalaki.
Because there’s this thing that is stored in my mind always. Given on what happened to me in the past.
A sad smile was plastered on my lips. Remembering the past that I've been through. I once trusted, yet the love and trust I gave led me to pain and suffering. I can still remember clearly how in love I was at that time to the extent that I am willing to break my guard just to be with him, but my love for him leads me to be who I am now.
Afraid of falling again. I once experience something unbearable for me to handle yet I still tried to love. Pero pagmamahal yata ang umiiwas na mismo sa akin. Thinking of how unworthy I am.
“Forget that I asked,” I stated, “I’m sure, hindi ka pa nakakaranas na masaktan kasi ikaw ang nananakit,” I voice out my thoughts.
“You have poor judgment,” he coldly said.
“Weh? Di nga? Hindi ka nanakit?” hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
"We all experienced being broken. Not just because of love but also because of those people surrounding us. You gave your trust and they broke it," sabi nito at nakatingin sa kawalan. Parang may mga alaala na dapat ng kalimutan. A painful past.
It is so funny how you gave your trust but then, in the end, you gain nothing. You gain pain and then they broke your trust.
"But, if you're pertaining to love. Yes, I've been broken before," he seriously said as his deep voice echoed in my mind.
So there's a girl who broke her heart? I wonder why? I mean, Reeve is all you can have. He has the looks that girls would want to. A perfect built body and he is also rich. Nasa babae ba ang problema o sa kaniya? Timang ba siya pagdating sa pag-ibig?
I'm interested in his love life but I know, wala ako sa lugar para tanungin siya. After all, I considered him a friend di ko lang alam sa kaniya. Besides, I also have issues with love.
Nag bell na hudyat na malapit ng matapos ang ibang mga klase at sumunod sa susunod na subject. Tumayo na si Reeve at umambang aalis na pero ako ay naka upo pa rin.
I just wanted to ask this question inside my head. Nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung tatanungin ko sa kaniya to.
"Hindi ka pa papasok?" Nilingon ko siya at agad tumayo at sinundan siya. Pero bago pa kami maka- alis may nakita nanaman akong pamilyar na mukha at pigura sa di kalayuan. Nakita ko na rin ito noong nakaraang araw. Hindi ko na lang pinansin at sumabay na kay Reeve. Nagmamalik-mata lang siguro ako.
Sabay na kaming naglalakad ngayon papunta sa susunod na klase namin. Malapit na kami nang naglakas loob ulit akong itanong sa kaniya ang tanong na kanina ko pa gusto itanong.
"Reeve,"I called his name. He stopped walking and turned at me.
I look at him directly in the eyes, "What would you do if your partner left you without any reason? Na bigla na lang naglaho na parang bula."
"Aside from cheating, leaving your partner without an explanation is the dumbest thing he can do." At pumasok na siya sa loob.
He didn't directly answer my question but then he has a point though.
Tama naman ang kaniyang sinabi. Kaya nga pag nag hihiwalay ang mga magka relasyon ay kailangan ng paliwanag para maging klaro ang lahat at magkaroon kayo ng closure.
Pero ang iwanan ka lang ng walang dahilan, walang paliwanag ay hindi ko matatanggap kahit naman sino hindi iyon matatanggap.
You've been thinking what is wrong. Ano bang kulang. Na okay naman lahat pero bakit ganoon? Bakit bigla na lang nag laho? Matatanggap ko pa sana kung bigla naging cold na lang siya sa akin, pero hindi eh. Ang sweet pa nga niya sa akin eh. Tas isang araw bigla na lang siya nag laho. Ang sakit lang.
"Ms. Pastolero."
"Ms. Pastolero!" Napabalik ako sa realidad ng bigla akong sinigawan ng Prof. namin. Nakatingin halos lahat sa akin dahil sa sigaw ni Prof.
"Kanina pa kita tinatawag pero parang hindi mo ako naririnig," bulong ni Renaissa sa akin.
Tumayo na ako at nakita ang nag- aalab na tingin sa akin ng Prof. Ang pinaka ayaw pa naman niya sa lahat ay 'yong hindi nakikinig sa kaniya.
"You're spacing out Ms.Pastolero. If you don't want to listen in my class the door is open." At tinuro po ang pintuan. Napayuko na lang ako dahil kasalanan ko naman na hindi ako nakikinig.
"How the cardiovascular system function Ms.Pastolero," striktang tanong nito sa akin. Ngayon ko lang din alam na Cardiovascular pala ang topic namin.
"When we heard the word Cardiovascular it is reffering to the heart. How does it function? The heart pumps blood throughout the body in blood vessels. Blood flows requires both the pumping action of the heart and changes in blood pressure," I said confidently. Damn, mabuti na lang at nakapag advice reading ako kagabi at nanood sa youtube. Kung hindi na tengga na ako ngayon.
Pumalakpak naman halos lahat ng mga blockmates ko, probably impressed kasi nasagutan ko ang tanong kahit na nag space out ako kanina. Except Reeve who didn't clap at me. He look serious though. He is intently watching me, I gave him a small smile and winked.
Ang harot Henzy ah. Kanina lang seryoso ang pinaguusapan ngayon naman nagawa mo ng kumindat-kindat sa kaniya.
"Very well said Ms. Pastolero, you may take your seat," our Prof. said. She seemed also impressed by my answer. Like she didn't expect it to happen.
Agad akong na upo at binulungan ako ni Renaissa,"Iba talaga basta matalino." I just cutely smiled at her and turn back to Reeve.
"Ang galing ko no," bulong ko sa kaniya at tinutusok ang kaniyang tagiliran.
He smirked, "Na swertehan ka lang." At nakinig na siya sa lesson namin.
A tiring day ends and I decided to go to my favourite cafe here. Medyo malayo siya sa school namin kaya nag tricycle ako papunta doon.
I really hate sitting beside the tricycle driver. I always feel unsafe. It is because Althea once harassed by a tricycle driver that led her into jumping even when it is moving.
Mabuti na lang at may nakakita sa kaniya noon. Dinala siya sa police station at nagsumbong. The driver is now living his life in prison.
Bakit ba kasi kailangan mang bastos? Anong nakukuha nila sa pangbabastos. Eh sa huli makukulong lang naman sila. Funny how hard you've been working for your family but in the end, it will turn into nothing because of a stupid mistake.
Nang nakarating na ako sa cafe na gusto ko. Agad akong nag order ng oreo cappuccino and cheesecake for dessert. I went to my favorite spot. Nasa corner ng cafe na ito where the rusty long table are place with some hanging lights na nag mistulang design at light na rin kung ikaw ay nag-aaral.
I liked this cafe because of the vintage style it has. Sa unang pagpasok mo naka abang agad sayo ang counter where they display their foods. Nasa taas naman ang kanilang menu na kulay itim ang background at mala- chalk ang naka sulat doon.
The vintage interior design was in color light brown and bricks ang style nito. Medyo malaki ang cafe na ito kaya maraming space. Their tables are round tables in color light brown with two round chair also facing each other.
In each table it has own hanging lights.
My favorite place was in the corner. It has mini rustic curtains and hanging light. Aside from it's design mas peaceful doon umupo.
I am scanning on my Anatomy and Physiology book because I feel like there would a quiz tomorrow. I like the subject because it is all about anatomy. We learn deeper about the human body. What I hate about this is drawing.
I don't have talent in arts. I really hate it when our Prof. would say draw and label. Alam mo 'yong nga kaklase mo ang gaganda ng drawing na parang realistic tapos 'yong akin? Ang pangit!
"Oreo cappuccino and cheesecake for Ms. Henzy." A girl in the counter shouted my name. I went there to get my order.
Marami- rami na rin ang pumupunta dito unlike dati. Malayo kasi ito sa school at medyo nasa tagong parte siya. I don't understand why the owner of this cafe decided to build here, sa tagong parte.
Siyempre kailangan ko picturan ito. Pang IG story na rin. I put my phone on the wall and hold my oreo cappucino. I clicked the shutter button nasa timer pa ito kaya nakapag- isip pa ako ng pose ko.
I sip the drink and look sideways, that's when I heard the camera shot. I instantly post it on my feed and IG story.
'Chillax' the caption of it.
I started eating and memorizing some terms in my book. Good thing that I really liked this subject. It somehow helps me to better understand it and dig deeper about this topic.
Mas maganda kapag ginaganahan ka sa subject na inaaral mo. Kasi mas madali mo natatandaan at pumapasok talaga siya sa isip mo kapag nag- aaral ka.
I concentrated on studying when I feel someone sitting beside me. I only ignored it probably another customer but I smell a familiar scent.
Tiningnan ko kung sino ang umupo sa tabi ko and there I saw Reeve still wearing our school uniform and a book in front of him. Then a strawberry cake.
I looked at the book he was reading only to find out that we're reading the same book. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na sumuot siya ng specs eyeglasses.
Ang gwapo niya tingnan lalo na't seryosong-seryoso siya sa pagbabasa. Mas nagiging gwapo siya dahil naka suot siya ng eyeglasses ngayon.
His forehead creased, maybe he didn't understand some topics. He was too serious because he didn't notice my presence.
Hinilot niya ang kaniyang sentido. At may kinuha siyang papel only to write some notes on his paper.
I am watching his every move when he turned his gaze to me.
"Hi!" I cheerfully greeted him. But Reeve is Reeve he didn't even bother to greet back. He just ignored me.
Well, I understand he is busy so do I. I just really enjoy watching him because he is too good to be true. Parang goddess na naligaw lang dito sa mundo. Especially sa mundo ko.
Bumalik na ako sa pag-aaral. Binabasa at inaalala ko talaga lahat para magimg madali sa akin. I also highlighted some important words and note it on my sticky note idinidikit sa page ng inaaral ko.
Reeve stood up and cleared his things in the table. "Are you not going home?" Nasa tabi ko na siya ng tinanong niya na ako.
Tiningnan ko ang oras sa cellphone ko at laking gulat ko na malapit na mag alas nuwebe. Dali- dali ko naman inayos ang mga gamit ko. Naging abala ako dahil hindi ko na na pansin ang oras.
Kumunot ang noo ko dahil hindi pa rin umaalis si Reeve sa tabi ko. "What?" I asked. Tapos na ako mag ligpit at isinukbit ko na ang bag ko, handa ng umalis.
"I am taking you home." Napaawang ang aking bibig dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Aren't you going to follow me?" Inis nitong sabi sa akin.
"Oo na andyan na." Pangalawa natong ihahatid niya ako sa apartment. Henzy! Ang swerte mo talaga!
Iba naman ngayon ang sasakyan na dala niya. Pero hindi ko na pinansin. He seemed piss.
Bumaba na ako dahil nasa apartment na kami. We we're quiet the whole ride. Parang wala siya sa mood.
"Thanks for the ride." I said then closed the door.
Papasok na ako sa apartment ko when I noticed someone.
Someone I really hate to see right now.
Someone that is not my priority.
"Henzy," he called.