"You can stay there..." I pointed my fingers on other room beside my room.
I'm seating here on the couch while playing and curling some strand of my hair. I combed my hair using my fingers and lifted my head to look at Anica.
She roamed her gaze inside my unit her lips is half parted while holding her backpack. "Ang ganda dito..." she murmured still looking around.
The amusement on her face drawn. She's still standing and walking forward and backward.
I just smiled at her "Go on, Put your bag inside the room,"
She nodded, I watched her entered the room. I pouted when I remembered that Magen will not show up here. He stayed on his office! He said that Anica might know our secret that's why he's not here. Halos mapatalon ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto ng unit ko!
"Bullshit, Denver!" I scolded my cousin, loudly! "Why you have that plastic trumpet horn?!" I shouted.
Pakiramdam ko umukit ang ugat ko sa leeg sa malakas kong sigaw habang tinatakpan ang tainga ko. Napapikit ako ng nakita ko na nakasunod sa kaniya si Neejan at Chave na may dala rin at hinihipan na para bang bigay na bigay sila. All of them is wearing a simple white tshirt and jersey short also a simple slippers. For sure, nakatambay lang sila kanina sa unit ni Chave.
"Pinagsasabe mo na naman?!" Neejan shouted playfully and the three idiots laughed.
"That!" Turo ko sa torotot.
"Arte mo, sabihin mo lang torotot e! English english kapa. Parang hindi pamilya ha," Denver said and sat on the coffee table.
I kicked him "Don't sit there!" I annoyed said while gritted my teeth.
Tumayo naman agad siya at inirapan ako. I watched the three of them sitting on the couch in front of me. Napapagitnaan ni Chave at Neejan si Denver. Sa left side ay si Chave at sa right naman ay si Neejan. Tinaas pa ni Neejan ang kanan na hita niya at pinatong sa kaliwang hita ni Denver habang nakapatong ang kanan na braso sa balikat ni Denver at dahan-dahan na pinulupot sa leeg.
"Denver, speak english." Chave teased.
Denver groaned irritatedly while punching Neejan's arm "I don't want to speak english!"
"Idiot, you already did!" Neejan shouted whe grinning.
I massaged my temple while watching them. "Why the--"
"Walwalan na!" Sele shouted energetically while holding a two bucket of The Bar Pink Gin on her both hands.
"Shot! Shot! Shot Shot! Shot Shot!Everybody!" Lami scream loudy also holding a two bucket of the bar pink gin on her both hands.
I covered my ears while all of them is shouting like that. Hailey is laughing at our idiot cousins. Hailey is wearing her usual jeans and white t-shirt partnered with gray sandals. Lami is wearing a croptop fitted sleeve and high-waisted short partnered with her black block heels. Sele is wearing a simple white dress partnered with her white flat shoes. I want to scream ng sinabayan pa ng tatlong idiots ng paghipan sa torotot nila habang nasigaw naman 'tong sila Hailey.
"Hindi ako pwede mag-inom," because of what I said they stopped doing weird things and curiously looked at me.
I crossed my arm over my chest and raised my brows when they looks stupid with their lips parted. Hindi ba kapani-paniwala?!
"Don't joke like that. Lasinggera at lasinggero tayong magpipinsan!" Neejan said and laughed bago hipan ang torotot.
Hindi naman new year! Magyaya lang mag-inom may dala pang torotot! Mga idiots.
"Hoy! Nandamay kapa!" Chave punched Neejan's arm.
"Gago, That's a fackk!"
"Its fact! Bobo mo," Neejan said.
"I know! Perfect ka?" Denver said.
"Slight lang..." natatawang sagot ni Neejan bago tumayo at lapitan ako.
"Slight?! Baka 20% lang..." Chave said, teasing.
"20% ano 'yan sugar level sa milktea?" Lami joked.
We just stare at her like she did the biggest mistake in her life. She rolled her eyes when she realized that no one have the guts to laugh at her corny joke.
"You have another boyfriend?"
Agad akong napatingin kay Neejan ng akbayan niya ako bago taasan ng kilay. I just sighed and made my lips turn into a one thin line. I can't tell them! Mga madadaldal pa naman 'tong mga 'to! When it comes with this I can't trust them! No! As in no! Not ever!
"Silence means yes..."
All of my cousin look at the other side where Anica is. Hindi kona ginawang lumingon rin. I just look at my color brown chanel leather slipper.
"Who are you?" Sele raised her brows while looking at Anica.
Sele sat on the floor also Hailey and Lami. Their eyes are on Anica who's brushing her hair using her hairbrush. Anica sat on the couch beside me and smiled awkwardly at my cousin. Pinanood ko sila Neejan, Denver at Chave na pinatong sa coffee table ang buckets of alcohol that they bought. Walang pulutan!
"She's my friend and she's going to stay here for awhile..." I explained before licking my lips while staring at the buckets of alcohol.
It's been a weeks? Since the last time that I drunk. Parang gusto ko na manghina. I felt like my stomach is going crazy because I'm stopping myself for grabbing a one bottle.
"Oh?! Hi! I'm Sele. This is Lami, Hailey, Denver, Neejan and Chave. Mga pinsan kami ni Heart," Sele introduced and smiled at Anica.
Anica smiled too "Kilala ko 'tong si Chave kasi kaibigan siya ni Magen. Napunta siya minsan sa cafeteria. That's why,"
I looked at Chave, he's busy counting the gin that they bought before saying something to Denver.
"Walang pulutan..." I said so they all looked at me with a playful smile on their lips.
"We thought your not going to drink?" Neejan asked like an idiot.
I rolled my eyes "Just saying!" I pouted and stood up.
"Uy! Gusto rin..." Chave teased. "Talk to your boyfriend! Tell him that you want to drink alcohol!"
"Ako bibili ng pulutan..." Denver volunteered and stood up. " Anong pulutan gusto niyo?" He asked while combing his hair.
"Nachos..." I said immediately.
"Weh? You're not belong Heart. Hanggang dito lang 'yung line oh," He draw an imaginary line that I can't crossed but all of them can!
"Sisig..." Hailey said.
"Grilled liempo..." Lami said.
"Chili chips..." Sele said.
"Chicken Pops..." Chave said.
"Anything..." Neejan said.
Denver looked at Anica and raised his brows like waiting for her answer. Anica looked at me to ask for a permission. I just stood up properly and nodded because it's fine. As usual all of them gave a money to Denver. It's a thousand pesos and thankfully they didin't ask for Anica's money! Of course I didn't give any amount of money. Makikain na lang ako since I'm not allowed to drink!
"Are you allow to drink? You looks like a student. Ilang taon kana?" Lami asked Anica.
I watched Chave and Neejan fixing our blanket. Nilatag nila sa sahig ang isang Malaki at makapal na blanket na kinuha pa sa unit ni Chave the curtain of the window here in my unit is half-opened. In the center of the blanket is the coffee table. On the top of that is the buckets of alcohol. Agad akong umupo ng maayos ang pwesto.
"Bawal ka uminom diba? You're boyfriend told you. So, stand up and sleep..." Chave teasefully said and tapped my shoulder.
Hindi ko siya pinakinggan. I smiled at Anica when she sat beside me. Katabi niya si Lami at katabi naman ni Lami sa right side ay si Sele. Sa left side ko naman si Hailey at ang katabi niya naman ay si Chave na katabi si Neejan. Nakapabilog kaming lahat sa coffee table. We're just waiting for Denver.
I looked again at Anica when she handed me her phone. I just raised my brows, tumingin pa siya saglit sa mga pinsan kong nagdadaldalan para bang ayaw niyang iparinig sa iba ang sasabihin niya sa'kin.
"Boyfriend mo kausapin ka daw..." She whispered.
Lalong kumunot ang noo ko habang tinitingnan ang cellphone na inabot niya sa'kin. The caller I.D is Magen! Agad kong tinago ang cellphone at tumayo. Chave must not know about this.
"H-hello?" I asked curiously when I entered my room.
I sat on my bed while biting my lower lips. I played my hair using my fingers as I looked at my reflection on the vanity mirror.
"Where are you?" he asked the obvious.
I sighed "Secret walang clue..." I joked.
"Heart..." he warned me. "Saan kayo mag-iinom?" he asked seriously.
Agad akong napaayos ng pagkakaupo dahil pakiramdam ko ay naalarma ang buong sistema ko dahil sa tanong niya.
"I'm not drinking, Magen." I defended myself.
He chuckled "Where are you then?"
I pouted and let a heavy sigh escaped "In my unit..."
"Anica told me that she's going to drink with your cousin. Ikaw? Iinom kaba?"
Pakiramdam ko bigla akong binuhusan ng umaapaw na kaba. I can't figure out if he's mad or not. I can't find a perfect word to describe the way his tone was!
"H-hindi..." parang maiiyak kong sagot.
This is the first time that I will say no to my cousin. Minsan kasi ay gan'to na ang bonding namin. We're not have that free schedule because we know that we have a battle that we need to fight with.
"You want?" his manly and husky voice made my heart fluttered.
I shook my head, I promised myself that I'm going to avoid those things that Magen hate. "N-no..."
"You keep on stuttering your words. You're nervous? Why? Did you do some stupid?!" he accused me!
"Of course not! Behave nga lang ako e!"
"You are shouting again..." nagtitimpi niyang sabi pero ramdam kong pinipigilan niya na bulyawan ako.
I calmed myself "Pasensya kana ha. God bless,"
"I want to go there..." he said softly.
My eyes widened because of what he said. Gusto niya pumunta dito?! Babantayan niya baa ko kasi baka mag-inom ako?! Iisang shot lang naman ako!
"Chave is here..."
"So?" I can sense the coldness on his tone.
Para bang wala siyang pakialam sa pwedeng mangyari. Hindi pwedeng malaman ng mga pinsan ko 'to na nasa level kami ng secret relationship. For sure my cousins will be mad about this! They don't want me to settle for less. Gusto nila na maipagmamalaki ako sa harap ng ibang tao. They want a guy that can cherish me the way they did.
I sighed "Baka mahalata tayo," I said and bit my lower lips.
"So?" he said again, emotionless.
"Magen naman," I whispered. "Don't worry, I'm not going to drink. I will just watch them to have fun," I almost cry.
Naiinggit ako!
"So you want huh?" I shut my mouth off when I heard his laughed. "Then go..."
"M-magen..."
He chuckled "It's not a problem, Heart. If you want then go. Mga pinsan mo lang naman diba? Walang ibang lalaki? Only your cousins and Anica are there?"
I nodded even I know he can't see "Yes,"
"Then go and have fun. I need to hang up. Tapusin kona muna 'tong mga paperworks. Bye..." and then he hanged up already not waiting for my answer.
Hindi ko mapigilan ang saya. I even jumped out of joy! He said that I can drink alcohol with my cousins! He allowed me without being mad! OMG! Magen want me to have fun with my cousins!
"Tagal naman magsimula!" Mayabang akong bumalik sa inuupuan ko.
I returned Anica's phone and smiled widely at her. I looked at my cousins looking so proud!
"You-"
"Sorry ka! He allowed me!" I cutted Chave's word.
Umusog pa ako palapit sa coffee table at pinakiramdaman ko ng maigi ang lamig ng bote. I grinned as I looked at the bottles! This is heaven!
"Hey Neejan, go get a tagayan and chaser..." Utos ko kay Neejan na nakahiga sa sahig. Ginamit niya pa ang braso niya para maging unan.
Neejan rolled his eyes but he still stood up and do what I said. It takes a minutes before Denver go back here.
"What's this?!" I irritatedly said when I opened the three paper bag.
"Fvck you, Denver. Pulutan ang sabi namin! Ba't ang binili mo marshmallow?! And what the hell is this?! A fvcking stick-o?! Gummy worms?! Bubble gum?! Maxx candy?! What's this?! A kinder party?" Chave frustrated scolded Denver.
Nakatayo lang si Denver habang ang dalawang kamay ay nasa likod. Para siyang isang bata na pinagalitan ng magulang. We're glaring at him deadly.
"Nasaan na 'yung pera?! Magkano lang 'yang mga 'yan wala pa nga 'yang one thousand!" Sele asked her brother.
"Alam niyo kasi guys. Sa panahon ngayon dapat nagtitipid kayo. We don't---"
"Stop the bullshit, Denver. We waited for almost an hour!" Neejan said.
He laughed "Masyado kayong highblood!" He walked towards the door and opened it.
My lips parted when I saw a man standing next to Denver. He is wearing a white hoodie with a red strap also a black t-shirt inside. He also wore a navy blue denim jacket. His hair is kinda messy. He gave us a small smile. His gaze immediately landed on me.
"What are you doing here, Hanzel? You are in hospital. You must stay there! Hindi kapa ata nakakarecover!" I stood up and walked towards them.
Pero halos matumba ako ng makita kong bukas pa ang pinto ng lapitan sila at nakadungaw si Magen. His bloodshot eyes glared at me. His jaw darkened like his face. Swear! I felt like I sweat like a bullets while looking directly at his accusative's eyes.
"I'm fine, Poena. I saw Denver earlier and he invited me. Let's go," he held my waist.
I swallowed hard, I can't move. Napatingin ako kay Magen na agad na pumasok dito sa unit. Some of my cousin looked at him curiously. Hindi ko alam kung ga'no karami ang kaba na nararamdaman ko dahil sa ginawa ni Magen.
"C-chave, pre." Magen smiled awkwardly at Chave that looks serious when Magen walked towards him. "Heart, come here..." Magen said bago umupo sa tabi ni Chave kaya napapagitnaan siya ni Chave at Neejan.
I nodded like a puppy and pushed Neejan a bit so I can sit beside Magen. "Move," I whispered at Neejan's ear.
Neejan played his lips and looked at me with his playful smile. "Is this the guy you're chasing right?" He asked with his lower voice.
"No!" I answered immediately.
Agad naman napabaling sa'kin ang iilan. Hanzel pushed Neejan so he can seat beside me. I massage my temple when I felt everyone's eyes on me except Hanzel and Magen. Kasi nagpapaligsahan sila ng titigan na para bang mahuhulog sa isang malalim na bangin ang iiwas ng tingin.
"You have the guts to come here , Hanzel? Seriously? After what you did?" Halatang nagpipigil na tanong ni Sele.
"Yes, I have..." Hanzel seriously answeres and looked at me.
Sele chuckled with this belief "You are bullshit!"
Hanzel looked at me with his pleaded eyes "I'm Poena's bullshit then..."
Napaiwas ako ng tingin, hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat ko gawin. I don't want to be harsh at Hanzel. I felt Magen's hand secretly snaked at my waist. Sobrang napapaso ako pero handa ata talaga akong mapaso basta Magen.
"Tagay na lang!" Denver laughed like an idiot.
I just smiled, fakely. I watched Chave and Denver mixed something on the alcohol. I just covered my face using my palm. Magen pinched my waist when my cousins are done mixing something.
"Just enjoy..." Magen whispered softly.
Pakiramdam ko tumayo lahat ng balahibo ko dahil sa ginawa niya. I looked at my cousin, no one is looking at us because they're busy fixing the foods and drinks.
"Unang tagay para sa mukhang unang magiging tatay..." natatawang sabi ni Lami bago lagyan ng ice ang tagayan.
She raised the shot glass waiting for someone to get it. I just stare at Lami's face. Sele snatched the shot glass, padabog niyang nilapag sa harapan ni Hanzel. Mabuti nalang hindi natapon. Hanz smirked and give me a quick glance bago tunggain ang alak. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin pero parang mali ata ang naging desisyon ko dahil nanlilisik na mata ni Magen ang nasalubong ko.
The time passed, nakadalawang bucket at kalahati na kami. I massaged my temple when I felt like I'm going to faint. Medyo blurry narin ang paningin ko. Napatingin ako sa maraming taob na bote sa sahig. Hailey, Lami and Sele are hugging each other while lying on the floor.
"W-we need to put them inside my unit!" Nagewang na sabi ni Chave habang tinuturo sila Hailey.
Denver blinked like an idiot and nodded "Mga bobo ang wiweak!" He said but before he stand up, he already passed out and Neejan too!
Napakurap-kurap pa ako habang tinitingnan si Chave na dahan-dahan na humiga sa sahig. Anica is not here anymore because she's already asleep inside the room.
"H-honey... I w-want to tulog na," nanghihina kong sabi bago yakapin si Magen. May narinig akong tumikhim sa gilid ko "Oh! T-this is my honey. Tulog na ako, p-please..." I loosen my hugged on someone and hugged Magen.
"Yeah... you need to sleep now. You're drunk," halatang naiinis niyang sabi at inalalayan ako tumayo.
"What do you think you're doing?" I heard Hanz asked.
Yumakap ako ng mahigpit kay Magen ng makatayo kaming parehas.
I giggled "H-hanz! T-this is m-my honey. Magen is his name! Dawn Magen, yah! But..." I stopped and put my index finger on my lips. "Shhhh ka lang. It's a secret," I whispered and giggled. "Diba hon?" I asked Magen, drunkly.
I didn't heard anything to him. I closed my eyes when i felt like Magen lifted me on his masculine arm. I even slapped his arm because of what he did.
"H-hala huy! I'm nahihiya," I giggled again.
I heard him cussing some cursing when I felt my soft bed on my back.
"Sleep," he commanded.
Naramdaman ko pa ang makapal na blanket na bumalot sa katawan ko. I opened my eyes, Magen's serious eyes met mine. Seryoso pero ramdam ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya.
I smiled and wrapped my arm on his neck. Muntikan pa siyang ma-out of balance dahil sa pagkagulat. Kitang-kita ko kung pa'no nagtagis ang bagang niya habang nilalabanan parin ang titig ko.
"Hon..." I whispered, tama lang para marinig niya. He just stare at me and didn't respond. I sobs "Nakakainis ka! Hindi mo na naman ako pinapansin!" I pushed him away and pouted.
I felt like my chest is now heavy! Bakit hindi niya na naman ako pinapansin?! Galit na naman siya?! Why?! Siguro bumalik na si Phoene 'no? Kaya siya gan'yan! I'm just a burden for him! Na kapag bumalik 'yung tunay na mahalaga ay isasantabi na lang kasi first of all burden lang naman ako! That's all!
I held his both arm and move closer to him "Magen, kiss me," I pleaded.
Kunot-noo niya akong tinitigan. He looked seriously at me like his bloodshot eyes is killing me.
"No..." matigas niyang sabi.
I bit my lower lips "Please..." I begged and tried to come closer to him.
"No, Heart. You're drunk," nagtiim bagang pa siya.
Lumapit pa ako ng maigi sa kaniya. Onti nalang ang pagitan namin. I looked at his kissable lips.
I nodded and smile bitterly "Bumalik na ba si Phoebe?" Nanghihina kong tanong.
"What?" Nanliit ang mata na tanong niya lumapit pa siya sa'kin.
Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama at nilapit ang tainga sa bibig ko.
"I'm asking, Phoebe is back?!" I hissed.
I want to know! Para aware ako kung ano ba ang dapat na gawin. If I need to adjust?! Yes, I'm the one who will adjust! Ako! Ako! Ako lang! Ako lang naman e!
"No," seryosong sagot niya at inayos ang blanket ko.
"B-ba't hindi nalang ako, Magen? Ako na lang m-mahalin mo. Even just a tiny drop of your love. Just give it to me..." I begged.
Kinagat ko ang labi ko bago umayos ng pagkakaupo. I hugged him tightly not letting him go.
"I'm s-scared..." A loud sobbed escaped on my lips "Pa'no kapag bumalik siya? Pa'no tayo? Pa'no ako?" Humihikbing tanong ko.
Maiiwan ako? Maiiwan na naman ba ako? Hindi ba pwedeng hindi? Hindi muna maiwan? I know, kapag si Phoebe na ang kalaban wala na akong laban.
"M-magen, please ako na lang. Ako na lang palagi," I begged again when he stayed silent.
I want it to be me. The person that he will always ask for. Gusto ko ako lang. Walang iba, ako lang.