“It doesn’t taste so bad,” I say with my mouth full. The burger tastes better than it did the last time we were here. I didn’t order fries so Ben wouldn’t steal all of it. He’s having pasta with a weird leafy sauce. “How’s your meal?”
Giving me a thumbs up, he says, “Super.”
Ben finishes eating before me, he throws his arm over his seat while watching me eat. My cheeks are rosy pink from all the staring. He doesn’t care to hide it even when my eyes widen in warning.
I finish my burger and he passes me my soda. I have to finish it or else I’ll get a lecture about ordering what I can’t finish. I belch in an unladylike fashion, Ben rolls his eyes but I know he finds it cute. He finds everything I do cute. It goes both ways, really.
The waitress who served us approaches our table. Ben and I pull out our wallets and bring out dollar bills. My boyfriend is glaring at me but I push my hands closer to the waitress.
She offers me a sheepish smile and accepts Ben’s money. Wow. Talk about girls’ power. Ben winks at her, laughing, she takes her leave. Double wow. I fold my arms across my chest. We are sitting across from each other or I would have pinched his ear.
Ben pats the spot beside him and my shoulders raise in refusal. “I wanted to pay.”
“Honestly, I don’t know why you keep trying.” He sinks into my seat, pushing me closer to the wall. I scowl. “You’re so cute when you do that.”
“Liar.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket but I ignore it. We have a rule. No phones when we are together but we leave it on in case of an emergency.
The phone vibrates again and I snatch it from my pocket. Maria, my best friend. The sight of her name unearths foreign emotions within me. We have kind of drifted apart. Moving cities was partly the reason for that. But we do try. With her busy schedule, it’s hard to reach her sometimes.
I pick the call and the first thing I hear is a scream. It goes silent, then, “Why are you not online?”
“Because I’m with Ben.”
“Oh. Fuck, Ben.” If only she knows. No, I haven’t told her. That conversation is meant to be had in person. We would have spent spring break together but Ben needed me. “I have been sending you messages all day.” I sit up and Ben’s hand falls off my shoulder. Maria is dramatic, it’s hard to tell if this is a real emergency or just her being a drama queen. “I need you to open your Instaagram.”
“Okay.”
“Do it now, Theresa!”
Ben gives me a worried look. I can only shrug. I have no idea what’s happening either. Maria ends the call before I can ask further questions. Ben’s hand stops me from opening the Instaagram app. I am breaking the rules. No phones. No social media.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s kind of important,” I volunteer.
I’m not so much of a social media freak like Maria. Ben isn’t either. It makes two of us the perfect pair. I haven’t activated my Fazebook since deactivating it because of him. I tap on the Instaagram icon and a flood of notifications pour in.
What’s going on?
Most of the pictures on my Instaagram are selfies or abstract. The last picture of me isn’t. It’s the first and only picture of me showing off my vitiligo.
To be honest, I don’t know exactly why I posted it. I posted it with the intention of deleting it later and to convince myself I wasn’t defined by my vitiligo. Spending this break with Ben has given me more courage. It feels like if Ben can face his fears after so many years, then I should be able to confront mine too. Because now, I am not alone. I have him.
My notification feed is blowing up. I have about ten thousand likes on my last picture. Hold on. I tap on the post to be sure. It’s that one of me showing off the white patches on my stomach. What the–?
Under the picture is a short caption talking about vitiligo. I made sure to write it was not contagious in capital letters, also referred to it as my superpower. My mouth goes dry. My hands shake a bit as I tap on the comment section.
There are too many of them. I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer them in a day, that’s if I’ll ever reply them. A particular comment from an empty profile catches my eyes. I reread it over and over again.
If you could change one thing about yourself, would it be your skin condition?
The question doesn’t offend me. I start typing.
No. Vitiligo is not a skin condition, it’s a super power. I love my body as it is.
I pin the comment so other users will see it and avoid asking the same question. The caption says it all. A patchy loss of skin pigmentation. It doesn’t affect your regular life. But I guess people don’t read anymore. I look up to see Ben staring up at me. He was so quiet I would have thought he left me.
Ben plugs me off the seat so I can sit on his lap. His lips press to mine in an almost kiss and his hands slide under my shirt. He traces those patches I have come to love. They are a part of me. They will always be a part of me and he loves me for it.
“I’m proud of you,” he says. My heart does a crazy flip. I bop his nose. “And I love your superpower.”
“I love it too, thanks to you.”
My phone vibrates again. We both groan. I know it’s Maria before I see the caller and truly, she’s the one.
“Have you seen it?” I have seen the comments and likes and I don’t know. I’m not as excited as she is. I’m content with just being that simple Gracie who loves Benny. “You are going to be popular, Tessa.”
“Err... Okay.”
Maria gasps. I tuck the phone between my ear and shoulder and push myself up to get a proper kiss from Ben. His fingertips caress my underboobs, he sends me a silent warning when I wiggle on his lap.
Since that day he forgot to use a condom, he has been careful not to get me too aroused except he is with one. Of course, I got the after pills but I think he is still freaked out. I’ll have to get on the pills because sex is so much better without a condom.
I stick out my tongue and rotate my hips on the bulge growing under me. Ben pinches my nipple and laughs.
The breathing on the other end reminds me the call is still ongoing. She must have been waiting for me to say something more. “Look, Maria. I love you but I am not really interested in stuff like this.”
“Are you crazy? You are not even going to consider it?” Well, what am I supposed to say to that? I don’t want to be popular. It comes with too much pressure and responsibilities. “Ben is there, isn’t he? I’ll leave you two for now but check your WattsApp as soon as you are done with loverboy. Okay?”
“Okay, mummy.”
Ben smacks my ass. He is distracting me but I like it.
“I’m serious. Check later.”
I roll my eyes and he laughs. He is lucky he doesn’t have a dramatic best friend. Oh, wait. I’m his best friend.
“Okay, Maria. I’ll check, I promise. Love you.”
“Love you too. Say hi to Ben. Bye,” she says all in one breath. I allow her to end the call so she doesn’t call back to give me a lecture.
Out of curiosity, I reopen my Instaagram. There are more likes. I don’t understand. Do people just sit by their phones and tap the like button on any picture?
It’s so unreal.
Ben snatches my phone from me. “Enough.”
“Sorry.” But I don’t sound apologetic. He returns my phone. “I have fifteen thousand likes on my picture, Benny,” I say with a small laugh. Lowering my voice in an awful representation of Maria’s, I add, “Your girlfriend will be so popular.” Ben bends over with laughter. I run my fingers through his hair, pushing them all over his forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you more. Can we please go now?”
The table is clean, someone must have come in while we were talking. I slide my hand into his and pick my small purse. He collects the purse from me and throws it over his shoulder. He looks so funny with my small lady purse but he doesn’t seem to care.
We are about to open the door but it opens before Ben reaches it. Noah steps inside and everything Olivia told me comes rushing in. He fucked up.
He and Ben greet each other but I avoid his gaze. I know what he did and I’ll not pretend we are cool.
Why did he post that video? I guess I will never know. Ben throws me a questioning look but I drag him out before Noah infects him with his evilness.
Humans are weird. Being nice to a person doesn’t guarantee they will be nice to you in return and it’s kind of sad. I have been nothing but nice to Noah.
We are seated in the car when Ben asks, “What happened back there?” He helps me with my seatbelt and plants a kiss on my cheek. “Didn’t you two use to be cool?”
I almost laugh. Once upon a time, Ben was jealous of Noah because he thought I liked him. Good times that are best left in the past where they belong.
“Yeah, we did. But life happened.” I will him to start the car but he halts without putting on his seatbelt. My heart beats faster. “Let’s go.”
As far as Ben is concerned, Olivia didn’t put up the video but he doesn’t know it was his friend who did. It never occured to me to tell him, partly due to the fact I didn’t want to revisit that memory. If Olivia is right, Noah has already been punished by the principal.
I force his seatbelt in place but he unfastens it. “Benny. Just drive. Let’s go home.”
“We are not going anywhere until you tell me what happened. Did he touch–” I shake my head vigorously. Noah isn’t that awful. “Gracie, please just tell me. Why don’t you two talk anymore? Noah is among my best buds. We played football together.” I am fully aware of that, which is why I find it harder to swallow. “And when you were gone, he was there for me, kind of. If he did anything, please tell me.”
“He didn’t really do anything.” Anger shadows his face. I tuck my hands between my legs. I don’t like this. “You remember I told you I saw Olivia? Well, she told me she didn’t put up the video. Noah did.”