I spent the whole week working taking care of my patients having fun and I promised I’d never cry again I didn't cry I was sad, yes, in my lonely moments alone. I was sad thinking about him missing him, but it was a decision made. Max needed to live his life just like I was going to live mine and I see that my life was taking new directions. I was sitting in the garden with my favorite patient, the owner of my heart. It hit me a sadness a longing wanted to smell his smell tomorrow was Christmas and anyway we were not going to spend our first Christmas, together it was going to be very sad one away from the other. I lay my head on her lap for a miracle of God, maybe my Christmas present she stroked my hair, I felt her hand so strong hitting my scalp after so many years without feeling her touching.
"Wow, what a nice affection. I squeeze your legs and start crying. "It's been a long time since I feel your hands continuous, I need you Mommy. I cry like a child the soul was cut off and my heart begging for a hug. "Don't leave me alone, I'm feeling so lonely. He left me, he's got another family, Mom.
Worse feeling was that of loss and at that time I smell ed him his presence on my back my spine burned with closed eyes a heart pounding the trembling hand I held firmly on my mother's thighs I needed strength to get up from that floor I needed to get up and look in those eyes again even knowing that I could give in to that charm that only he has I need strength. I was suffering too much hurt because passing a movie in my mind in my head everything my mother lived and seemed karma my life was like hers. Keep sitting I didn't want to look him in the eye, I was going to give in.
"What do you want here? I try to breathe.
"So, you mean this is my mother-in-law?
"Don't you dare, Max.
I got up running and when I saw him I was in front of me with wet hair the way I loved his dark suit with two bags in his hand and that damn malicious smile that I want to fill with kisses.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to my mother-in-law? He lowered himself put his knee on the grass left the bag on the side and held my mother's hands and kissed both hands and kissed smiling shook and looked at my mother. "Hello I'm Max the man who loves your daughter, but she doesn't want to give me a chance.
"Don't you dare.
"Mom talks with a hardhead and tells me to listen, I have so many things to explain.
I ran out of that place, I needed to breathe, I was about to give in to that charm. He still got down on his knee and I saw from afar when I kissed his mother's forehead and smiled.
I ran into my room and I was at the bottom of the hospital and I ran as hard as I needed to hide from this man. I walk in and knock on the door, and I feel desperate to cry at the urge to scream and say.
"I love you... I love you... Damned."
But I couldn't that love was burning me inside I felt up from the thumb the head chilled want to be with him feel his mouth my body trembling I wanted him to go away and not come back. Because he has to come back here to light up everything that was asleep.
I believed he was leaving, and I opened the door to my room, and I find him sitting on the porch smoking cigarette, motherfucker he's not going to give me peace he's going to chase me till he gets tired.
I should have left.
"I didn't finish what I came here to do so we need to talk.
"Max. We have nothing to talk about, we've talked about everything going on your life because I'm following mine.
"Mia, I miss you; I can't sleep, I can't breathe without you. Let me at least explain.
"I can't Max. And bigger than I can't make the same mistakes always.
"Can we at least talk?
"We don't have anything else to talk about in reality, I don't even know what you came here to do. I try to get away from him and I see it being difficult, he runs. "Just move on with your life. I'm also following my life even if it's hard.
He gets up, approaches me, I was standing by the door and trying to breathe so I don't fall into temptation.
"No Max, please.
"Mia, please. A hug, nothing more just to put up with this Christmas without you.
"You have made your choices; you are responsible for your pains not me. Max, you didn't put me in your choices and you didn't think at any point in my feelings that I was going to suffer thought only of you. One passed, in my hair then I close my eyes and feel his presence was something like vigoring for my soul, even,
knowing it hurt so much that he's there can't touch him.
"Give me a chance to start all the fucking thing over.
What opportunity do you want? Take you to my bed and we'll have sex and then go away to your family's house and spend Christmas as a family. Do you believe I deserve so little so I'm only good for sex?
No, I’m not... that's not what I meant, you got it wrong, I just wanted an opportunity. He was squeezing me so tightly-- he waits for me and says I'm going to give myself a chance just until the baby's born, please!
"Oh, I’m so sorry. I understand you want me to wait for you until the baby, so I don't get another one understanding you don't want to be changed.
"I don't want to lose you that's all.
I was trying to get out of his arms. "Let me go, and there's no more opportunity for both of us.
He pulled me into his arms and held so hard one hand was on the back of my neck and the other at my waist I felt his body, in mine I felt his soul enter mine as soon as the shiver ran through my body. His breath in my ear, his heart beating rapidly as if begging for kilo because mine begged for that same begged for that hug and even wrong, I felt alive and felt complete it was like a soul in two bodies.
He stroked my hair so strong, and I delight with that touch that comes out of my world at that moment. And I feel his lips touching mine at lightning speed he sucked so hard and I'm out of air. But he won't let me go and his tongue tasted my salty lips by the crying, and I feel his sigh on my lips.
"I love you sweetie. I didn't have the guts to say I love you, but inside my chest I screamed "I love you", but I couldn't give you hope and couldn't go back that way to be his lover. I take my body away from his that I breathe and see his eyes.
"Merry Christmas, Max.
I ran into my house and slammed the door he needed him to leave the door trying to breathe the heart racing my heart begging for him and the desire to be his. I leaned over there at the door, and he was able to feel each other's breath in tune.
I can't stand the pain and cry to know that asking and whispers in tears:
"I love you Max.
I hear his breath, he heard it, I feel him fall at the door and punched the door I wanted to open and stick this soul that was being separated. I hear your voice in tears and I see I feel like I'm crying.
"I love you Mia...
After so much suffering and knowing that it was an goodbye Santoro arrived all excited, all happy and I bland ly listening to everything quiet and thinking that he just left.
"I'm sorry it took so long. You kissed my mother, and I didn't have the courage to open the presents,
that Max gave me threw in the bag the way it was and went away for a trip was going to be a family weekend thing I've never had in my life.
" Wow! My parents are looking forward to meeting you.
"I also hope they like me.
"I see you're very sad, did something happen?
"It's not okay, I'm just a little tired and spending Christmas away from the clinic staff is bad.
"Your mother is better, and I saw that you will be able to renew the treatment after donations.
"Yes, do you believe that today she even did affection in my hair? He smiled and put on a song—Today was my Christmas present a affection from my mother after years.
"So slowly she's getting better, and I want to see your smile that beautiful smile that only you have.
Santoro and the opposite of Max was caring, kind and helpful, knew how to make a woman smile, but there was something about him that intrigued me, he carried a mystery in life that it was making me afraid of what it would be.
And the way he came into my life very quickly was as if a star had thrown him into my life. As always, my mother said everything that is bad is revealed I step on his tattoo and he smiles.
"Could we get a tattoo together? —
No, I’m not. I hate pain.
"Not even on four walls? Don't you like being tied up?
" There different between four walls goes everything, catch hitting marks just not worth promises that you will not keep.
"Have you seen him?
I looked at him scared, I knew he wanted to know about Max deep down, he's hoping I'd never go back to Max.
No, I’m not. I haven't seen him in a long time.
I lowered my eyes and became pensive and after hours traveling, we arrived in Vetoetoe. The place was wonderful and cozy and wherever you go you see the Christmas ornaments.
"Wonderful Vetoe!
He got out of the car was a huge house in the quiet town with fruit flowers all over town when we stopped at the door of his house an all-yellow mansion with gigantic Christmas ornaments. The ice-covered sidewalk was happy and I shook my head with a little smile.
His mother already jumped on top of me and hugged me.
"Welcome! The famous Mia.
"Mom less please won't see me burn. This is my friend. Mia.
"Your friend or suitor? His father spoke and looking at me, seemed not to like it very much I lowered his eyes, and all dull we entered was the house with wooden floors, dark walls, clear with pictures of him everywhere, natural flowers matching the environment. Christmas decorations all over the house was perfect, it was typical of the perfect family of the interior.
"Honey take her to her room so she can rest because later we're going to town, right, Mia, we need to buy some more Christmas gifts.
I looked at her and I didn't understand, but it's okay right she owns the house.
"Yes, I would love to.
I went up to the room, threw the suitcase on the floor and threw the phone on the bed and looked out the window all the houses were decorated for Christmas was perfect very beautiful quiet place and each ornament one more beautiful than the other, but I did not stop thinking about it.
He sat me on the bed and took the gifts he gave, and I confess that it would be better not to open curse that runs through my blood.
I take the first velvet box and when I open, I see the bright-writing choker:
"Max." I feel the shiver for the body and the desire to touch the necklace was a magnet calling me and I touch and close my eyes and I see, with his huge hand touching me.
"What are the rules?
She smiled for the first time the night I gave the gift and opened the champagne, she shook her head to see the present was a bright choker, written "Max" I got up and put on her neck.
"I'm not an animal to use this, it's going crazy. She shakes her head.
"You are my little dog, as its owner I decide what to do."
I come out of the thoughts of the past and close the necklace and return it to the bottom of the bag and when I look at the other envelope, I see it to be something more painful and I don't open it. And I put the clothes on top and close the bag after hot bath and warm clothes the unbearable cold. When I came down and they talked, I smiled, it seemed like a happy family, a normal family, the one I never had.
"We were talking about how beautiful you are, you're wonderful.
Thank you, thank you. I told him I was looking at Santoro who laughed.
"Do you do what gives Mia life?
"I'm a physical therapist. Sam looked at me and complemented me and I laugh ed and he finishes talking all proud.
"She's a psychologist and she wants more.
- I just graduated, but I'm not a doctor.
"Let's go to the city, I'll take you in a little shop, you will love the city is so beautiful.
"Wonderful. And thank you for seeing me here on this very special night.
"I have to thank you for making my baby happy.
Baby? That big man. She was kind, she smiled for good and all she talked about was her baby.
- I'm going to take you out for the best hot chocolate in town.
"I'm staying because I'm going to talk business. I'm sorry about my dad, and then we can rest easy.
He got up, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and took us to the door, the man besides beautiful and tasty is very polite.
City we spent the afternoon there the cozy city even Full of Charm the Christmas decoration with the ice that covered the asphalt and the reindeer the puppies were costumed Santa Claus.
"The people take Christmas seriously here in the city.
- yes, it's a tradition. Just wait here.
I didn't quite understand, but it didn't take me to a huge cake shop downtown facing the church. I kept watching the kids run and saw her in the store looking angry I got scared when she comes out slamming the door.
"I'm sorry you saw this.
Is everything all right? I was arguing.
"That's a one that almost broke up with my family. But let's go and forget what you hear.
I see the family had a secret, I thought it was strange for the woman to look young and very beautiful. He still came to the door, and we went into another coffee shop. And when I was going to get in my phone rang it was restricted number I surprised and answer worried.
" Hello? I hear the breath on the other side. "Ma'am, Santoro, I'm coming in.
" Santoro? Mia.