ZACK’S POV
“God Dammit!!” I screamed as I hung up the call.
“Whoa, dude chill" Mike handled me and I smashed my phone on the floor with all my angst.
“She never told them we broke up" I told them the reason of my anguish in a briskly tone and they were blown by it.
“Had she planned all these?? Like, how does everything slam back at you itself??” Zoe was utterly confused on how Caroline lived her life and I had no clue about what was going on in her mind.
“Technically, she’s now your responsibility right. Congrats buddy" Mike teased him in a helpless tone and my legs trembled upon thinking of the new trouble she was going to give me.
“Anyone with Caroline?” Doctor came out of the room and called us.
“Hey Doc, it's us" Zoe met the doctor with a pleasant smile and I dazed at their closeness. Then it struck my mind, Zoe was an athlete and being an athlete, it was normal to be close with a doctor as we could be their regular patients and that was it, Zoe and the athletes of the high-school were treated by this doctor.
“Zoe, long time no see" the doctor came to her and scanned Zoe top to bottom with her eyes and my eyes fell on her name tag. Her name was Pamela Manning.
“Blessed on that" Zoe replied to her and doctor laughed at that. It was a pretty good reply, no one should have to see a doctor very often!!!
” Ahm…How’s Caroline?” My anxiety was at peak and I had to interrupt their chit chat.
“She’s fine now. Does she have a boyfriend?” the doctor finally noticed my presence and looked at me in gaze. Hearing her words, my heart was on my throat not having single clue about what the new trouble was.
“Ex actually" Mike helped me out there and I let out a deep sigh making myself ready to hear it. Sweat began to roll down my head and my body grew restless. To be honest, I was damn worried!!!
“Oh, then its serious because” for no bloody reason, that doctor just put a break on her sentence giving me goosebumps and jeez, I literally wanted to scream at her asking her to spit it out.
“Mind to skip the thrill?” her face curved into a creepy smile that was burning the hell out of me and I did snap at her to hurry it up.
“Because she’s pregnant” she congratulated me first and I jumped in horror. What the fuck???
“She what?” my eyes popped out of my face and coincidently, both me and Zoe had yelled at doctor in the same time.
“Damn she is” I need to call you parents as this matter is not so small one to ignore.
I lost my breath and felt a quick heart attack that made me gulp down and my legs wobbled when the depression I was already facing hit my brains like a brain freeze.
“Zack....” Zoe held me from falling and helped me take a seat and my condition gave the doctor a good insight on how my situation was. I was already in oblivion and I had no idea what was going on around me. More than good news, the pregnancy news hit me like a stroke making my soul bury itself deep inside somewhere while my body went zombie.
“Mike, call Mom and Dad" Zoe asked Mike to call their parents to support ne in the situation and I didn’t know what was going on around me.
“Zack, hold yourself. You can’t just drown yourself like this" Zoe tried to help me come back to earth but what she said wad very provoking for the situation I was in.
“Oh yeah, I’m a fucked up man with no idea about what’s happening in his life and with all the fucking tensions I was already blessed with, how do you expect me to take this news as?” I blasted at her like an atom bomb and she fell back in terror. She never imagined me bursting like that and damn, I was guilty for that sudden outburst!!!
“Watch it Zack " Mike came to her rescue and grabbed my collar backing me from her and suddenly, my body grabbed his with agitation like never before and I was so sure that he had seen the moistness in my eyes because of which, he leaved his grab and patted me to calm down.
I swept my hands on my hair and buried my face on my palms in distress and just wanted to vanish from the world. Realities of like was striking me really badly and this news was way ahead of all the shit.
“Doc, did she gain consciousness?? Can we meet her?” Zoe suddenly asked the doctor and I jumped from my seat because I really needed to talk with Caroline.
“She’s up. You can meet her" doctor allow us in and Zoe signed me to go first.
I breathed out and my apologetic eyes made contact with hers and a smile bloomed on her face. That one smile had a strange boost that helped me gain some confidence to meet Caroline.
My hands and body shivered as I walked to the causality to meet her. All I could was the overwhelming emotions that I had when she came back into my life on a drunk night. That night was the most regretful one in my entire life. Why was I blessed with all the tribulation a man could face altogether???couldn’t fate give me a break??
I stood outside the causality room before entering and thought something. What were we going to do? What was going to be our future with this?? How were we going to tackle it ‘together'??
I took a deep breath and got in to see that Caroline was in a pool of tears. My heart skipped a beat seeing her condition so fragile as who would have wondered getting pregnant at the age of 17?? With all the remaining courage in me, I walked to her and held her shoulder and she turned towards me. Her face was red and had swollen up with all the crying as if her world her fallen apart. That face of hers reminded me of my mom who had the same face when she was crying her heart out when she knew dad’s news.
“I’m sorry" Caroline held my hands together and looked at me with those blood red eyes of hers.
“It’s okay Caroline. We’ll get through it" I felt very sympathetic for her and not a single feeling of hatred or contempt erupted in me for her for the time being. I was the only person responsible for her condition and I had to be accountable for it.
“How?? What will we do?? I can’t tell my parents, they’ll kill me" she wept again and my heart began to feel heavier. I used to think that the moment when a couple hear the news that they are entering the next stage of life by becoming parents is one of the purest moments of euphoria in their life. But my life was giving me the opposite of it. For both of us, it was most tragic news that was going to change our lives forever!!!
“This was a mistake, Zack. What should we do? Do we keep it or…?” while I was trying to console her, she was thinking a lot about the things that were sure to happen in near future but a single word she spoke stopped the world around me. Did she mean abortion??? Did we want to abort that baby soul who had just sprouted in her belly?? Did it mean that we had to take a decision on that??
My heart skipped a beat and the overwhelming emotions took control of me. Who was I? A bad boy who didn’t care about life anymore or was just a fucking freak who hid behind his cowardly face in the name of PTSD? Or was I my father’s son who was brave enough to take responsibility of my actions like a man??
I sighed and then took a deep breath. I held her hands with care and made her calm down.
“Just relax Caroline. Don’t think about any of it now. I’m here for you" I made her stop crying and asked her to take some rest. She was already weak and needed a good rest and so did I. I needed time to process everything and Caroline listened to me and relaxed herself from crying again.
I walked out of the room and went to a secluded corner of the hospital where no was present and let out all my overwhelmed stress out. I was so crazy that to get myself together, I began to hit the walls and take out my frustrating.
“I have never seen this cowardly face of you” I turned around to see who it was and I saw no one. Wait, was I talking to my own alter self??
“What else do you expect then. To show a big heroic face of a man who has no idea what to do?” I screamed at myself in agitation.
“Then what? You’re going to take the life of it and name it a mistake. Oh please, that’s what a coward would do to save themselves” my alter self, yelled back at me mercilessly and that hit me.
“What the fuck do I do then? If I take responsibility, I’ll have to patch up with her again and how can I after knowing that she’s a psycho" I screamed trying to figure out what to do.
“Just think you fool. Will you take the life of a baby who knows nothing about the world?? Will you deem it a mistake when you had clearly enjoyed that night with her whole heartedly? Will you ever be able to rise in your own eyes after you decide to kill that?” my alter self-reacted to and I was taken aback when I felt my dad’s tone in those words. What the hell was I even thinking about??
How can I kill a baby which is the result of a night that I thoroughly enjoyed with a girl I once loved the most in the world? Though I regretted that night from the next day, how can I do such a sinful act?? Since when did I become such a heartless coward?? When did I lose my own consciousness??
There was no way I was going to make a mistake that I was going to regret again and, in this moment, all I thought was about a life. A life which was the fruit of love. My love. I was a bad boy with hell lot of issues, but I was not going to be a murdered of my own blood. If for that I had to do things which I didn’t want to, I was ready to do it oy for that baby and there was nothing that could stop me from doing that.
Come what may, I was going to bring that baby to life and the other things, let it be. If I had to get back with Caroline for the sake of my child, I was ready to forgive all her sins and move ahead with her by giving her a second chance. I was ready and confident enough to do it and let's see what this pregnancy was going to make of my life. Either this baby would be the end of a disastrous life of mine only to make the best of it or it can be the end of me altogether. What was it going to be was just a miracle!!!!!