Kabanata 9: Blindfold
Galit na kinuha ni Mick ang aking cellphone mula sa mesa at hinagis iyon sa pader. The phone broke into pieces and the ringtone faded.
"Putanginaaaaa!!!" sigaw niya na umalingawngaw sa buong bahay.
Nanginig ang aking buong katawan sa takot habang pinapahid ang mga luha.
Naihilamos niya ang kanyang mga palad. His eyes were angry as he gritted his teeth. Galit niyang tinitigan ang basag na cellphone.
Sa puntong iyon, natakot ako. He was so angry that his face was so red and I can almost see the veins on his forehead. Plus his hands were shaking as he turned them into fists.
He clenched his jaw. Sa sobrang pagkuyom ng kanyang mga kamao ay nakita kong dumudugo na iyon.
It scared me even more.
He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Kitang-kita ko ang pagtaas-baba ng kanyang dibdib, halatang sinusubukang pakalmahin ang sarili.
He turned to face me. This time, his stare was cold. Salungat sa galit na nararamdaman kanina.
Umiling-iling ako.
Mababatid mo sa kanyang mata ang sakit at hinanakit. But he chose to keep it to himself.
No Mick, whatever you are thinking, I guarantee that you are wrong.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit tumawag si Louis. But I can assure you, I never contacted him after that night.
Bakit hirap na hirap siyang paniwalaan ako?
Wala siyang ibang ginawa kundi gawaran ako ng malamig na tingin. His eyes were judgemental. Halatang hinuhusgahan ako sa bawat segundong lumilipas.
Why did we ever come to this, Mick?
Nanatili akong nakatayo roon, hinihintay ang kanyang susunod na gawin.
I saw Gabo running down the stairs. He rushed towards me and stayed in front of me, as if trying to shield me from him.
Mick turned his back and walked towards the door. Sinubukan ko siyang habulin ngunit pinigilan ako ni Gabo. Mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang aking siko.
I need to explain to him!
"Don't Kuya." Gabo gave me a warning look.
"Let me go, Gabo. I need to talk to your Kuya Mick!"
"Fucking don't!" He gritted his teeth.
Narinig kong humarurot ang sasakyan palabas ng garahe kaya wala akong nagawa.
"Fuck this life! Fuck! Fuck!" Gabo screamed as he climbs up the stairs. "Fuck! Fuck!"
Natulala na lamang ako nang muling matahimik ang bahay.
Bwisit na Louis! Magrereconcile na sana kami ni Mick eh! Panira siya!
Samantala, nalulungkot din ako para kay Gabo. He's too young for all this drama. Isama mo pa ang kondisyon niya.
Why did Mick choose to leave instead of talking to me and sort things out? Why would he choose not to believe me? I am untrustworthy to him?
Or maybe he's trying to control himself? Kitang-kita ko kanina kung paano niya sinubukang pakalmahin ang sarili. Maybe he did that so he would not hurt me?
Maybe he just needs to cool down his head. Iyon na lamang ang inisip ko upang mapayapa.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras akong natulala roon sa sala. Nabalik lamang ako sa huwisyo nang marinig kong may nagdoorbell.
Sino naman kaya ito?
I hope it's Techno. Sana nga siya na at naisipan niyang makipag-ayos sa akin. Dahil sa totoo lang, nasasaktan ako dahil sa nangyari sa aming pagkakaibigan.
Matamlay akong naglakad palabas ng bahay. Nang buksan ko ang gate, nagulat ako nang makita ang isang pamilyar at guwapong lalaki. Nagulat din siya nang makita ako. Ang gulat sa kanyang mukha ay unti-unting napalitan ng pagkalito.
I remember this guy. He was the stranger in the movieworld. What is his name again?
"Ikaw?" itinuro niya ako. "You're that guy from the cinema, right? Goob, I think?"
Tumango-tango ako bago sumagot. "Yes. I remember you too. But sadly, I forgot your name." nahihiya kong saad.
"It's Apo. Ano ba yan. Nalimutan mo ang pangalan ko pero ang gwapo kong mukha hindi. Tsk tsk." nagkamot siya ng ulo bago ngumiti. "Ikaw ha."
"Pasensya na. What are you doing here, anyway?" kumunot ang noo ko.
"I'm here as a replacement for my sister. Iyong wedding planner. She's pregnant and she asked me if I could meet with the client today on her behalf. Sino pala ang ikakasal dito sa bahay niyo? Don't tell me that it's you. Because I will be heartbroken." sumimangot siya, nagpapacute.
Well, I will give that to him. He's cute naman.
Muli siyang nagsalita nang may maisip.
"Pero teka, hindi ba ay brokenhearted ka noong nagkita tayo sa sinehan? So meaning hindi ikaw ang ikakasal?" Ngumiti siya.
"Ako ang ikakasal." saad ko. Nawala ang kanyang ngiti at tahimik na tumango.
"Ah, sad naman."
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
"Joke lang. Ikaw talaga. HAHAHA." Humalakhak siya bago itinuro ang loob ng gate. "Pwede na ba akong pumasok? Mainit kasi." reklamo niya.
"Pasok ka." Niluwagan ko ang pagkakabukas ng gate at pumasok naman agad siya.
I invited him to sit on the couch.
Huli kaming nagkita ng aming wedding planner the weel before the night I was raped. My wedding with Mick is in two weeks kaya pagfinalize na lang ngayon ng mga detalye.
I wonder what her sister wanted us to discuss.
I never thought that what's happening in my life right now would happen to me. Ang akala ko, magiging smooth ang mga linggo bago ang kasal namin ni Mick. I never expected that things would turn out this way.
That is why during the early days of the wedding preparation, I made sure that everything would be perfect.
And I still plan to make it perfect despite everything.
Naupo ako sa single-seater na upuan sa tapat niya. He gave me a weak smile.
"I know it's not my business to meddle with your relationship, so I will forget that we ever met at the cinema." panimula niya.
Tumango ako.
"But if you ever need someone to talk to, please know that I am willing to listen. Or you don't need to talk actually, if you feel like you need someone to be there for you, I'm just here."
"Thank you." simpleng saad ko.
Apo is still a stranger. Wala mang ipinapakitang masamang motibo ay ayaw ko pa ring ikwento kung kani-kanino ang aking pinagdaanan.
"Anyway, my sister asked me to give you the updates about the details of your wedding. Nasaan ang fiance mo para madiscuss ko sa inyong dalawa." aniya at umarteng hinahanap ang aking fiance.
"He's not here. You can discuss it to me. Mick told me that he doesn't really need the full details of our wedding. Ako na raw ang bahala."
"I see. My sister already talked to the tailor and the Americanos are ready for fitting. When will the two of you be ready so that I can inform the tailor."
"I'll talk to Mick about it. Itetext ko nalang ang ate mo."
"Mmkay. About the invitations, they will be delivered here tomorrow and will be sent immediately to your guests once okay na para sa inyo at wala na kayong babaguhin pa."
Muli ay tumango lamang ako.
"And lastly, yung taste-testing ng menu daw ngayong weekend. I'll just send you the address of the catering service. Puwede bang makahingi ng number mo?"
Kumunot ang noo ko. Hindi ba puwedeng ang kapatid niya nalang ang magtext sa akin?
Ngunit hindi ko na iyon isinatinig.
And my number? I still have to check my phone if functional pa ang simcard. Sigurado akong hindi na mapapakinabangan anh cellphone ko dahil nawasak na iyon.
Siguro ay sa Facebook or Instagram niya nalang ako icontact kung ganoon.
I'm not sure if papayag si Mick na bumili ako mg bago ngayon na sinira niya iyon. I don't want to ask for his permission.
"I can't use my phone right now. Nasira kasi."
"What happened to your phone?" kunot-noong tanong niya.
"Mick and I got into a fight. Sa galit ay nasira niya iyon." tumayo ako at pinulot ang aking cellphone mula sa sahig.
Basag ang screen at halos hindi mo na makilala ang model ng cellphone. Even the Apple logo is fractured.
"Does your fiance have anger management problems? Bakit niya sinira ang cellphone mo?"
"Nadala lang ng galit."
"Is he usually like that?" tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin.
"No."
"Ano ba iyong pinag-awayan niyo na nagawa niyang sirain ang cellphone mo?"
Sa totoo lang, ayaw ko talagang magkwento tungkol sa akin. Ngunit makabubuti rin siguro kung may paglalabasan ako ng sama ng loob.
Ngayong hindi kami bati ni Techno, wala na akong ibang mapagkakatiwalaan pa. Hindi naman ako puwedeng magkwento kay Gabo dahil sa kanyang kondisyon. Kahit na sigurado akong alam niya ang lahat ng nangyari. Still, ayaw ko pa rin na malaman niyang nahihirapan ako.
Apo seems trustworthy. He looks like a nice guy. At ano naman ngayon kung ikwento ko iyon sa kanya? Wala naman siguro siyang mapapala kung ioagkalat niya iyon. And by his looks, he's not the type who would share your secrets with others.
Kaya naman, wala akong nagawa kundi ikwento sa kanya ang mga nangyari.
Galit na galit siya nang ikwento ko sa kanya ang tungkol sa panggagahasa. He almost wanted to beat Louis. Ngunit mas nagalit siya nang malaman ang inaasal ni Mick ngayon. His hands were trembling because of anger. Naikwento ko rin sa kanya ang dahilan kung bakit nagkita kami sa sinehan. Pati ang tungkol sa aking pagkakasakit.
Habang nagkwekwento ay talagang pinigilan ko ang aking sarili na umiyak. Ngunit nabigo ako. I bursted into tears. My voice broke so many times as I tried to reminisce the past.
Niyakap niya ako kaya hinayaan ko siya. I cried on his shoulders as he enveloped me in a tight hug. Tahimik lamang siyang nakinig sa aking mga hikbi at marahang hinahaplos ang aking buhok.
"Shhh. Everything will be alright." bulong niya sa akin.
Humiwalay lamang siya sa yakap nang kumalma ako. Dalawang emosyon lamang ang aking nakita sa kanyang mukha.
Awa at galit. Ngunit mas nanaig ang awa.
"You don't need to feel sorry for me. Kaya ko pa naman." saad ko.
"Are you sure that you still want to proceed with the wedding?" puno ng pag-aalala ang kanyang boses. "You can still cancel it. Kung pera ang iniisip mo, I can let you borrow my money. It's not much. Pero at least makakalaya ka sa lalaking iyon."
"It's not just about money. I want to fight for love."
"I don't know, Goob. Even your friend gave up on you. Yes, your fiance is a jerk. The biggest jerk I've ever met. I mean how could he not believe you? But I don't want to force you in leaving him. Because it should be your decision. Walang ibang tao ang dapat na magdikta niyan."
I only gave him a nod as an answer. I am pretty sure that my eyes are sad.
"But if you ever need help, don't hesitate to ask me. Kahit ano pa yan."
"Salamat."
He gave me a weak smile. Inilabas niya ang kanyang cellphone mula sa kanyang bulsa at ibinigay sa akin.
"Put your number here so I can easily contact you." aniya.
"Like I said, I still don't have a phone. Sa social media nalang. My username in Instagram and Twitter is thegoodgoob."
"Just put your number here." ulit niya.
Naguluhan ako sa sinabi niya. Ngunit para hindi na humaba pa ang usapan ay ginawa ko iyon. I typed in my phone number kahit hindi sigurado kung magagamit ko pa iyon.
Pagkatapos ilagay ang aking numero ay ibinalik ko ang kanyang cellphone sa kanya.
He opened the phone settings and clicked the 'Restore factory setting.' Mas lalo akong naguluhan. After that, he removed his sim card and grabbed my now damaged phone. Tinanggal niya mula roon ang aking sim at ipinasok sa sim card tray ng kanyang cellphone. He turned the phone on and saved his number on the phone.
Ibinigay niya iyon sa aking pagkatapos. Kumunot ang noo ko.
"What are you doing?"
"Here. So you will have another phone. In case of emergency, contact me. I saved my number there."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I just want to help you out. That's all."
I must say that I am touched with what he just did. Hindi kami gaanong magkakilala but he was willing to do this for me.
"Thank you. What about your files and photos?"
"Don't worry. Nakaback-up lahat ng files and photos ko sa iCloud so I can still access them on any device. I could have bought you a new phone kaso baka magalit yung fiance mo pag nalaman niyang lumabas ka." He glanced at his wristwatch. "I have to go. I have a meeting with my clients."
"Clients ng ate mo?" tanong ko.
"Nope. My clients. I am an engineer by profession."
Oh wow. So he's an engineer?
"Okay. Thank you ulit for the phone. I will make sure to return this when things get better. I appreciate it a lot."
"No worries. Call me if you need anything. Sa ngayon, magpahinga ka na muna dahil kagagaling mo lang sa sakit."
Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit bago niya damputin ang kanyang mga gamit. Ikinagulat ko iyon ngunit hinayaan ko na lamang siya.
Hinatid ko siya sa labas ng bahay. He had his car with him. Hindi nga lang niya ipinasok sa garahe ng bahay ni Mew.
"You know what, you're still young and you are good-looking. Honestly one of the most good-looking guy I've ever met. You can still cancel the wedding amd I'm sure a lot of other fine men will be happy to have you. Like me." biro niya bago magtungo sa kanyang sasakyan.
Hindi ko na siya nasagot pa dahil pinaharurot na niya ang sasakyan bago pa man ako makapagsalita.
Does Apo like me? Hindi ako manhid upang hindi mapansin na masyado siyang friendly sa akin.
Pagkatapos noon ay naghanda ako ng aming tanghalian ni Gabo. Inasahan kong uuwi si Mick para kumain ngunit hindi niya iyon ginawa.
Gabo was angry at me kaya tahimik lamang siya habang kumakain kami. Hindi niya ako kinausap.
Buong maghapon ay wala akong ginawa kundi ang magpahinga upang makabawi ang aking katawan. Maghapon ko ring hinintay ang pagbabalik ni Mick.
I wonder where he is? I just got home from the hospital ang I can't believe that he's not even here with me.
Natapos na lamang kaming maghapunan ni Gabo ay wala pa siya.
Alas diyes ng gabi habang nakahiga ay narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan ng aming silid.
Naupo ako sa kama at napansing si Mick na iyon. Madilim ang silid ngunit naiilawan ang kanyang mukha ng lampshade na nasa bedside table.
He looked ruthless. Galit ang kanyang mga mata habang naka tingin sa akin.
Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng takot.
He removed his shirt, unbuckled his belt and removed his pants. It revealed his hard and thick shaft. Hindi niya tinanggal ang kanyang tingin sa akin habang ginagawa niya iyon. Sunod niyang tinanggal ang kanyang medyas at sapatos.
Mabilis ang kanyang lakad patungo sa kama at hinigit ang aking paa palapit sa kanya.
He covered my eyes and used his shirt as a blindfold. Hinayaan ko siyang gawin iyon.
Malalalim ang kanyang paghinga at agad kong naamoy ang alak. He's drunk.
But I did not dare speak a word.
Itinulak niya ako kaya muli akong napahiga. Naramdaman kong pumatong siya sa akin. He held my hand using one hand and found out that he was tying me to the headboard with his belt.
Nanatili akong tahimik. Mayat maya pa ay narinig ko ang pagkapunit ng aking sando at ang pagtanggal niya sa aking pajama kasama na ang aking brief.
Wala akong makita. Everything is black because of the blindfold. But I can totally feel his body.
Kinakabahan ako at the same time naeexcite. The last time Mick and I had sex was two weeks ago. Noong okay pa ang lahat. This will be the first time that we will do this after everything that happened.
Mick claimed my lips and harshly kissed me. Sinubukan ko siyang halikan pabalik ngunit lumayo siya sa akin.
"No. You have no right to kiss me back." aniya.
Napalunok ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Muli ay naramdaman ko siyang marahas akong hinahalikan. Ngunit gaya ng sabi niya, wala akong karapatan na halikan siya pabalik kaya hindi ko iyon ginawa. He bit my lower lip so hard I can feel it almost bleed.
Ngunit hindi ako nagreklamo.
Hindi nagtagal ay bumaba ang kanyang halik at nalarating sa aking leeg. Naramdaman kong sinipsip niya iyon nang mabuti at sigurado akong magmamarka iyon kinabukasan. Napaliyad ako sa sensasyong nararamdaman.
Mas lalong bumaba ang kanyang halik hanggang sa umabot iyon sa aking nipples. His suckled on my left nipple like a hungry infant. Ang kanyang isang kamay ay pinaglalaruan ang aking kabilang nipple. He harshly pinched it. Meanwhile, I felt his other hand on my hole, teasing me.
Kung hindi lamang nakatali ang aking mga kamay ay sigurado akong nasa buhok na niya iyon at sinusubukan siya.
His lips travelled all over my body, kissing every inch of it.
Naramdaman ko ang kanyang pagluhod sa aking harapan. I can almost smell his cock.
"Suck it." utos niya at inilapit sa akin ang kanyang ari. It touched my lips.
Sa una ay hinampas hampas niya iyon sa aking mukha. Ngunit muli niya iying itinutok sa aking bibig.
"Open your mouth." Ginawa ko ang kanyang utos.
He slid his thick and hard cock inside my mouth and I began to suck it. Hinayaan niya akong gawin iyon ngunit nang hindi na makatiis ay siya na mismo ang naglabas-masok ng kanyang alaga.
He filled my mouth until it reached my throat. I almost gagged.
"I want to fuck your mouth. Not your teeth. Do it properly!" He held my face to keep it in place. Mas lalo kong pinagbutihan ang aking ginagawa at siniguradong hindi tumatama ang aking ngipin sa kanyang kahabaan.
Muli ay muntik na akong maduwal. Kapos na rin ako sa hangin. He removed his shaft from my mouth. Ginawa ko iyong oportunidad upang huminga.
Ngunit hindi pa man nakakabawi ay muli niya iyong isinilid.
I tried to suck him as best as I can.
"Ahhhh." he moaned.
"Achskkskshjkk."
"Fuck. Your mouth is so hot."
He started to move his hips and mouth-fuck me. His movements started slow, but later on, it became faster and faster. His dick always reached my throat.
Naluluha na ako ngunit nagpatuloy lamang. I even used my tongue as I sucked his member, trying to pleasure him in any possible way.
I miss him so much. Kaya kahit na ganito ang pagtrato niya sa akin, hahayaan ko. Kahit sa ganitong paraan, at least nararamdaman ko siya.
Mas lalong bumilis ang kanyang paggalaw at mas lumalim ang kanyang paghinga.
"Achskskkjjkchs."
"Ahhh. I'm cumming~~~" his loud moan resonated inside the room.
Mas humigpit pa ang kanyang hawak sa aking mukha. I badly want to see his face and emotions but sadly, I can't because of this blindfold. I can still smell his perfume on his shirt. Mabango pa rin at lalaking-lalaki ang amoy.
Mas lalong nag-init ang aking nararamdaman. Sigurado akong pulang-pula na ang mukha ko. Nahihirapan na rin akong huminga. Ngunit naramdaman kong malapit na siyang labasan.
"Ahhhhh~~~"
"Ahhh fuck!"
"I'm cumming!"
"Sining~~"
As he screamed that name, I felt him filling my mouth with his hot salty liquid. Kasabay noon ay ang pagtulo ng aking mga luha at ang paninikip ng aking dibdib.
I whimpered silently, with him still inside me.
Why, Mick? Why? Why are you doing this to me?
It hurts so much! To hear him moan someone elses name while I am here! In front of him! With him inside me!
It hurts like hell.
Patuloy ang pagtulo ng aking mga luha. Mabuti na lamang at may blindfold ako.
"Spit." utos niya.
Kahit nanginginig ang aking mga labi ay ginawa ko iyon.
A moment later, I felt him entering me from below.