Have you ever think that life is unfair? Whenever you want to a especific goal, some strange things happen to block your way. You wish to have a successful but a happy life but how can you avoid facts that the family you have is already damaged?
I remembered the days that I want to be with my family whenever there is an event at school. I'm afraid to said to things to them because I know how passionate her work is. I never expected my father to be with me because when I was a kid, I never experience to feel his love. The chance of getting a happy family dissappeared when she died. I felt like I need to hold and by myself without someone else help. I tried to be strong but whenever I felt down, my entire system remembers the time that I am seeing her smile. I am hurt. Until now, I felt so weak. Kung tutuusin mas mahina ako kumpara kay Calvin. He never give up. I know he's tired but whenever I told him that we can do it and cheer him up.
After that night, we never talk again. As I've tried to hold back my tears, I need to walk out. Ayokong maramdaman nya na nanghihina ako. Ayokong isipin niha n hindi ko na kaya at kailangan ko na ng tulong niya. I never tried to trust someone except him. I know from the start he never leave my side but them as I've tried to bring the justice I wanted for my mother, napalayo na kame sa isa't isa. Gusto ko lang naman huminga ng maayos. I want a peaceful life with him but it won't happen anymore. I want to bring him back but the trauma I got shen I saw him in pain isn't easy. Whenever I saw his scars on his hand, I felt guilt. He loves to be a doctor but I am the one who block it. Hindi na kame mga bata pa para ibaik ang nakaraan pero hindi ko pa rin kayang makita yung sarili ko na ganito habang siya nakaabang sa susunod na gagawin ko.
Ramdam ko ang sobrang lamig ng paligid ng makapunta kame sa unang destinasyon. I still avoid him. Hector already feel the coldness. Nandun siya at nakinig sa amin dalawa kaya sure akong may nalalaman na siya.
"Wow!"
After walking towards the Alapad Hill, I saw the happiness my brother. Ramdam ko ang unti-unting pagkamangha at pagkaaliw niya sa lugar na iyon. This is also my first time watching a rock formation. I never tried to do adventures after all.
"Be careful."
Naisipan pa naming maupo para lang pagmasdan pa ang mga bato sa paligid. Isa sa mga bagay na hindi ko naenjoy noong bata pa lamang ako ay makapagtravel sa ganitong klaseng tourist spot. I smell the fressh air without vehicles polution and the breeze of the wind while looking a far.
"We will be heading in Basco lighthouse in a few minutes."
It will consume an hour to go there. Parang ayoko ng umalis sa lugar na ito. I felt like I want to leave everything behind and go here where I can stay forever with peace.
Naramdaman ko pa ang pag upo ni Rogen sa tabi ko nang tumayo si Calvin kasama si Hector para tignan pa ang iba bagay na makikita dito. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya ba ni Hector o binibigyan ko lang ng malisya lahat.
"Its been years when we go here. We've planned to go here pero hindi na nangyare. If only I have a power morethan you, I would probably keep yu to the place like here."
Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa malayo habang nakikinig sa mga sinasabi niya.
"I told you that you don't need to do things alone. I'd promise to myself and to your mom that I will be on your side. I felt like I am guilty. We even talk in private about you but here we are right now, even we both near I felt the distance."
Hindi ganito ang nasa isip kong mangyayare sa trip naming ito. I felt like I am saying goodbyes and never came back together.
"Before this trip ends, I want you to tell me everything. I don't get everything you sadi last night but I felt like you are saying goodbyes. I don't like the way you talk. It looks like my ex girlfriend came back because she want to say goodbye and go."
After he said words, mabilis siyang tumayo ag iniwan akong nilalambot. Ramdam ko ang pagkaginaw hindi lamang dahil sa malakas na hangin kundi dahil sa katotohanang sinasabi niya.
"Ate let's go!"
Sa kabilang banda buhay na buhay pa rin ang saya ag ngiti ni Calvin ng mag aya na para sa susunod na destinasyon. Matagal paakong napatitig sa dagat bagl naisipang tumayo at pumasok na din sa van. Nakita ko pang inilabas ni Rogen ang maliit na health chart ni Calvin at tinignan pa ang pulso gayun din ang BP nito. He never fails to care for us. One thing for sure. I don't remember when my Mom talk to him. If only I know about, I will still considered him yo enter in my life? Everything is change. A few more months, I will succeed. I will finally take my part into peace.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong nagdalawang isip. I want to go with them. Gusto ko ng takasan ang lahat ng ito pero hangga't hindi ko pa din nakukuha ang hustisya, susundan at susundan pa rin kame nila. They already know my capability. Hangga't maaari iniwasan kong may mangyareng masama isa man sa kanila.
"Ate do you know why I want here?"
Natigilan lang ako sa pag iisip ng marinig ang boses ni Calvin.
"Why?"
"Because of the air. I fekt like I am flying even though I am walking. This place is really amazing! I also want to visit someone here! We can go there right?"
Nakuha niyon ang atensyon ko. Bakit nga ba alam na alm na niya ang lugr na ito? Naisip ko pa marahil ay nakikita niya sa picture kaya naman nahumaling siyang pumunta dito.
"Who and where?" I curiousity said still waiting for his response.
"My friend is here. She goes home even she's not treated in the hospital. I want to see her again if she's still well. I have her adress so we can visit her, okay?"
Maraming naging kaibigan ang kapatid ko sa hospital kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung ganito siya. He never tried to have a bestfriend. If he does, they will also leave becausr of the two things, if the patient got well or the patient got worst and never healed again.