“Rohann!” Kim cried as she held out her hand. Subalit pagdilat niya ay wala na sa bisig niya si Rohann. Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa palad at umiyak nang puro dilim ang sumalubong sa kanya.
Biglang bumukas ang pinto at ang ilaw. “Kim, what happened?” nag-aalalang tanong ni Rohann at niyakap siya.
“N-Nanaginip na naman ako. Hawak daw kita habang duguan doon sa abandonadong bodega na pinagdalhan sa atin ni Rory. Pero patay ka na,” aniya at lalong napahagulgol ng iyak nang humigpit ang yakap nito.
“Pero buhay ako,” anito at hinaplos ang pisngi niya. “Huwag ka nang umiyak. Matulog ka na.”
“B-Bakit ganoon? Alam ko nang buhay ka pero paulit-ulit ko pa rin iyong napapanaginipan. Bakit ayaw niyang mawala?”
“Dati mo pa iyang napapanaginipan?” tanong niya at pinagmasdan siya.
She nodded then hugged herself. “Since they told me you were dead. Halos gabi-gabi. Minsan, kailangan ko nang magpakapagod para tuloy-tuloy na ang tulog ko at hindi na ako managinip.”
“Nagpatingin ka na ba sa psychiatrist?”
Umiling siya. “Ayoko. Kung magpapagamot ako, baka tuluyan kitang makalimutan. Iyon na lang ang tanging makapag-papaalala sa akin ng lahat ng mga bagay na may kinalaman sa iyo. Ayokong mawala ka sa akin, Rohann.”
“I also dream about you. I just wake up every night screaming your name. I was also in that warehouse. Pero naririnig ko ang halakhak mo habang inuutos mo sa mga lalaking iyon na patayin ako.”
“Panaginip lang iyon. Hindi totoo.”
“But it kept me alive. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, titiyakin kong pagsisisihan mo ang lahat ng pananakit na ginawa mo sa akin. And I will make you pay.”
“I already paid for it. Nang mamatay ka, parang namatay na rin ako. And the nightmare won’t go away. Yours either,” aniya at nilingon ito. “At hindi iyon mawawala hangga’t hindi natin napag-uusapan nang maayos ang lahat.”
“Nice trick, Kim,” sarkastiko nitong papuri at hinawakan siya sa baba. “You are willing to use every trick in the book just to make me believe. Do you know why I don’t want to believe you? Because I hate you. I hate you for coming back into my life and for bothering me. I hate you for making me believe that you love me and making me fall to your trap.”
“But hating me won’t drive those demons away. And unless I make you believe me, hindi rin ako matatahimik.”
“And what should we do?” he asked in half whisper.
Lumuhod siya sa kama at ipinatong ang palad sa dibdib nito. “Allow me to chase your nightmares away, Rohann.”
Matapang niyang inilapit ang katawan dito. Then she kissed him with wild abandon. She was not an expert. Si Rohann lang ang lalaking humalik sa kanya. But she let her instinct take over. She aggressively tugged his lower lip to have a freer access to his non-responsive mouth.
Hinawakan nito ang kamay niya at inilayo sa katawan nito. “Do you think a night with you would be enough? Ganoon lang ba kababaw ang tingin mo sa akin?”
“I am willing to give everything just to have you back into my life,” aniya at hinaplos ang mukha nito. “Because I love you, Rohann.”
“Really?” sarkastiko nitong sabi saka inangkin ang labi niya.
He was crushing her lips. Nagpaparusa ang mga labi nito. She could feel his anger. But she didn’t mind. She wanted to absorb all of Rohann’s anger. Kung iyon lang ang kaya nitong ibigay sa kanya, tatanggapin niya. She opened her mouth so she could accommodate him. So he could feel that her love could endure anything.
“I don’t want to hear anything about love, Kim. Dahil minahal kita at itinapon mo lang iyon. At kung may nararamdaman ka man sa akin ngayon, guilt lang iyon at hindi pagmamahal. You want to put off that guilt off your chest…”
“Pagmamahal iyon, Rohann!” giit niya. “And guilt has nothing to do with it.”
“We are not going anywhere,” anito at naglakad patungo sa pinto. “Kung ipipilit mo na mahal mo ako, lalo ka lang masasaktan. Lalo mo lang ginugulo ang lahat. Dahil wala ring mangyayari sa sinasabi mong pagmamahal. Nangyari na ang lahat. Wala nang natitirang emosyon sa akin maliban sa galit. Good night, Kim.”
Bumaba siya sa kama at pinigilan ang kamay nito. “Don’t leave me, Rohann. Kahit ngayong gabi lang.”
“It is not wise. I must admit that I am still attracted to you. And I don’t want to take risk. Because I don’t want to get involved with you in any way. Parang nagpakamatay na rin ako kapag ginawa ko iyon.”
Niyakap niya ito mula sa likuran. “Natatakot ako na baka bumalik na naman ang bangungot. Bigyan mo ako ng chance na maramdamang buhay ka pa nga. Pagkatapos noon, kalilimutan na kita kung gusto mo.”
“It may sound crazy but I don’t want you to forget me. Alam ko na hindi madali. I tried to do it for twelve years but I can’t forget you. That’s why I can’t be with you tonight.”
“Please,” pakiusap niya at iniyakap ang kamay sa leeg nito. Gusto niyang maramdaman ang init ng katawan nito. Maybe she could pretend that he still loved her. Magiging masaya na siya. Then she could go.
“Ikakasal ka na, Kim,” paalala nito sa kanya.
“Hindi na ako magpapakasal sa kanya. Now that I found you again, I don’t think I could bear another man touching me. Ikaw ang mahal ko…”
“Shhh…” His forefinger touched her lips to stop her. “I don’t want to hear anything about love. I don’t want to hear any promises either. Because I won’t offer you any. I hate promises. All we have to do now is chase our demons away. Then we could go on with our lives.”
Muli nitong inangkin ang labi niya. Mas maalab sa pagkakataong ito. Pakiramdam niya ang matutunaw ang katawan niya sa matinding sensasyon na nararamdaman niya. His roaming hands were searing each part of her flesh.
Isinuklay nito ang daliri sa mahaba niyang buhok. “Parang lason ka sa katawan ko, Kim. Hindi ka maalis sa sistema ko kahit na gusto ko.”
A giant wave of passion washed over her as his mouth branded her skin as he stripped her. Then he nibbled the tautness of her nipple. She could feel her own passion consuming her. But it was not enough.
Pinalis niya ang roba sa balikat nito. Then he shed the rest of his clothes off without her asking. Parang isa itong estatwa na likha ng batikang iskultor. He was too vitally male and alive. He had a broad brown chest, well sculpted muscles tapering to a narrow waist, flat belly and powerfully built thighs. He had a well-conditioned body of the athlete he was.
Hinapit siya nito palapit sa katawan nito at muling nagsanib ang mga labi nila. Naramdaman niya ang pagsayad ng likod niya sa malambot na kama. Umiikot ang buong mundo niya. Tanging si Rohann lang ang sentro ng mundo niya. There was nothing but his passionate masculine lovemaking.
He held her naked in his arms with every inch of her pressed tightly against him. Rumagasa ang dugo sa mga ugat niya habang naglalakbay ang kamay nito sa sentro ng katawan niya. Then his hand followed it as he skillfully tongued her navel. Hanggang bumaba pa ang halik nito sa dating pinanggalingan ng kamay niya.
He made love to her with his lips. Nakagat niya ang labi upang pigilin ang sarili na mapasigaw. She felt warm and wet, aching with the need that only he could satisfy. Hanggang naramdaman niya na parang isa siyang bituin na sumabog sa kalawakan. Parang nawala siya sa sarili sa ilang sandali.
Then the pleasure slowly fade away. Naramdaman niya ang pagbagsak ng luha sa mga mata niya. Is it already over? That soon?
“Did I hurt you?” tanong nito. Umiling siya. “Bakit ka umiiyak?”
“I don’t know. It was just too much.”
Nakangiti nitong pinahid ang luha niya. “We had just started, Kim. We still have a long night ahead of us.”
Kumapit sa braso nito at isinuko ang sarili sa sensasyon. Hinayaan niya itong manguna at siya ay tagasunod lang. She would give everything just to have him. “I’ll be careful,” pangako nito nang dahan-dahan nitong pag-isahan ang katawan nila. He eased down at her, restraining his own desire.
Hinaplos nito ang buhok niya at inangkin ang labi niya. Napasinghap siya. She could feel his hips moving, possessing her. Sa bawat paggalaw nito, nararamdaman niya ang lalong paglalapit ng katawan nila. Hindi siya makahinga sa mabilis na pintig ng puso niya. Idinilat niya ang mga mata nang bahagyang maramdaman ang sakit. But he was so gentle that the pain fade away after a few moment.
“You told me you would do anything for me, Kim?” bulong nito sa kanya sa bawat paggalaw nito.
“Yes,” sagot niya at mahigpit na humawak sa braso nito.
“You won’t marry that man anymore?” he asked hoarsely.
“Yes, Rohann! Yes!” she answered.
She was shivering with pleasure as it gripped her and made her body convulse. She could her him cry as his hips pushed down in a pressure that shattered her whole being. Then she heard her own cries.
She went rigid as the feeling stretched her tight as a cord and suddenly snapped in a hot pleasure she’d never known in her entire life.
“I love you, Rohann!” she sobbed along with his inarticulate cries.
Hindi siya tumupad sa usapan nila. She had just told him that she loved him. She just wished he didn’t hear her. Or it might mess up everything.
KIMBERLY couldn’t take her eyes off Rohann. Nakapikit ang mga mata nito. Nang hindi siya makatiis ay tinalunton ng daliri niya ang matangos nitong ilong. Gulat itong dumilat at tiningnan siya. “Why?” tanong nito.
“I want to know if you are real.” Hinaplos niya ang pisngi nito. She wanted to make sure if he was not an illusion. “Making love with you was just a dream.”
“You thought you only made love with a dream?”
Tumango siya at humilig dito. She smoothed his chest and felt his heart beat. She loved touching him. They were still naked under the sheets. Walang sinuman sa kanila ang gustong gumalaw. As if they don’t want to be apart.
“I know you are real.”
Tumagilid ito paharap sa kanya. His eyes danced under the light, as he looked her. “You are more beautiful than a dream.”
Naagaw ng kuwintas na nakasabit sa leeg nito ang atensiyon niya. Hinawakan niya ang necklace at hinatak sa likod nito ang pendant. “A dream catcher!” Nagulat siya. Hindi ito ang tipo na nagsusuot ng dream catcher.
“Yeah. To put off the nightmares.”
Tiningala niya ito. “I don’t believe in these. But I like it.”
“My brother gave it to me.”
Noon lang ulit niya narinig ang pagbanggit nito sa kapatid. Hindi kasi niya alam ang nangyari dito. “Jet? Anong nangyari sa kanya?”
“It was a miracle that he was alive. When I lost you, he came back. He owns a sports store in Manila. Malapit na silang ikasal ng girlfriend niya.”
“I am glad that he is alive.” She was just sad that her brother didn’t live. Kung buhay sana ito, masaya rin siya. “How about you? How did you end up being a wu shu champion?”
Humiga ito at tumitig sa kisame. “I quit karate. Pakiramdam ko noon, wala na akong gustong gawin sa buhay ko. Then my aunt brought me to States. Gusto niyang ilayo ako sa mga nagbabanta sa buhay ko. Hindi naman kasi nahuli ng mga pulis sila Rory. Bumalik ulit ang interes ko sa martial arts dahil sikat doon ang pinsan ko na si James. He was so passionate about taekwondo. Parang si Kuya Jet. Karate was a bit violent for me, I guess. So I prefer wu shu. Lolo ko kasi ang nagturo niyon sa amin dati. Mas relaxing siya. Nang ma-boring ako sa floor exhibition, saka ako nag-switch sa full combat. Artistic pa rin siya kahit na may contact.”
“Kung nabuhay sana ang kuya ko, sana magaling na rin siya sa martial arts,” panghihinayang niya. “Too bad. Mga katulad ni Rory ang naging kabarkada niya.”
“Are your parents glad when they found out that I am dead?” tanong nitong hindi maitago ang animosity sa boses.
Wala siyang pakialam sa reaksiyon ng mga magulang niya noon. She also blamed them for Rohann’s death. But she was drowning in her own pain to care about how they feel. O maaring hindi ipinaalam ng mga ito na buhay si Rohann. Dahil tiyak na hahanapin niya ito.
“Siguro gustong maghiganti ng mga magulang ko. Pero hindi sa iyo kundi sa kapatid mo mismo. I don’t know if they know you are alive or Rory fed them lies. Para nga naman hindi sila mapahiya. Oh, Rory always feeds us lies. And my Dad usually takes it as a gospel.”
Kung hindi lang sana sila nagpadala sa simbuyo ng galit nila, hindi sana magiging magulo ang lahat.
Hinaplos nito ang buhok niya. “Aren’t you going to sleep?”
“Later. I still want to look at you.” Ayaw na nga niyang matulog. Mas gusto niya itong titigan kaysa makita lang ito sa panaginip.
“Natatakot ka ba na baka bumalik na naman ang masamang panaginip mo?”
“No,” aniya at yumakap dito. Alam niyang hindi na babalik pa ang bangungot na iyon habang kasama niya si Rohann. He was her dream catcher.