It was Tuesday morning and right now, I am talking to my second female bestie, Gloria, by the window. The light air that blows gives me goosebumps as it finally dawns on me that today will make it the last day for the conclusion of our NECO examination.
Angst clouded my mind, mostly with anxiety and fright in my body, and to say my emotions are well figured out will be a lie.
"Earth to Michael", Gloria's voice jolted me out of my reverie, as I quickly put on a smile which she frowned at.
Her arms were folded and her expressions show that I have not been paying less attention to what she was saying.
" I'm sorry for the break-in transmission, pardon me", I pleaded, pouting my lips, which made her punch me lightly.
"Ok, I understand, but if you go to Venus again, I will cut off your head", she remarked I chuckled lightly.
I raised my head, as I caught a glimpse of Ethan coming towards the window side. I felt a shiver down my body as a flash of one of his messages came to my mind, which made me spend a lot of time thinking. Maybe it will be for the best if I am not close to him or else…
" Hi, can we talk?" Ethan whispered as I lift my head slightly, my body becoming warm instantly.
"Um, that will be impossible, as you can see, he is talking to me. For now, it is NO", Gloria stated, resting her left hand on my shoulder. They just keep bickering without any reasonable explanation.
" I am still talking with Gloria, maybe later", I replied, rather nervously, avoiding gazing at him.
"Was it because..", he suddenly stopped and sighed before taking his leave.
I felt bad within myself, not only for pushing him but for allowing him to be close to me. I felt as if I was hit, fear nestling in my body. What could probably happen in my university life?
Gloria's gaze landed on me and I knew she was becoming suspicious.
" Are you guys fighting? I need an explanation of what just happened. Why would Ethan want to talk to you, with a guilty face, and also asking you?" She asked, prompting me to lean on the wall, as I felt the cold breeze against my body.
'Gloria, I am attracted to Ethan, but I am afraid he is attracted to me. He sent a message to me yesternight, asking for a kiss and hug, which serves as proof that my thoughts are becoming true",' I felt like screaming out these words to Gloria, but my mouth refused to say it.
It is a big secret of mine that can't easily be understood by anybody. If that fact comes out, I will be painted as gay leaving different opinions, mostly bad, in other people.
News travels fast, they say, while some or majority will avoid me, few will pity me while the others will be so long series. Gathering my thoughts together, I found some words to say.
"Gloria, there are some things that can't be explained about me. Ethan and I are on good terms. I have always respected ladies, so even if you were the one that just came, and I was talking to Ethan, I will prefer to talk to you", I stated and she chuckled.
" Like seriously? try to always be fair. Since you don't want to talk about it, I will give you a piece of advice", she remarked as I nodded to show my listening ear.
"Perhaps if it is a secret, doubts, or a troubled mind, I think the only being that should know is GOD. He will never judge you", she said, enunciating each word perfectly.
I felt like her words were food at the proper time.
" Aww, I feel good with your words
You should probably be taking down your lovely advice so that you can publish them one day", I joked which earned a punch from her.
We moved to Gloria's seat which was about 5 feet away from the window side. We chatted for a while, but I could feel Ethan stare. Maybe I am overthinking", I said to myself as I scanned the hall.
The hall was kinda scanty as many of my classmates are either in the school library or in the Data Processing Laboratory. Looking around, I discovered we were just seven in the exam hall.
"Hey, guys", Ethan's voice rang, making us stop our conversation. He draws a chair closer beside me, as I nervously fiddle with my fingers.
Gloria did an eye roll which only earned a chuckle from Ethan.
" You look like an ape with that eye roll of yours", Ethan commented and I could only try to control my laughter. Gloria's face flared, with a scowl.
"You know what? I don't have the time to talk to a rascal like you. I am leaving this place, you are annoying", Gloria stated, as she made her way out of the hall.
It finally dawns on me that Ethan intentionally did that to talk to me. Now Gloria is gone leaving me alone with Ethan.
I avoided looking at him as I could feel him scratching his head. That is one of the signs, nervousness, that he might be attracted to me. This attraction of a thing makes it difficult for me to think straight especially when my thoughts revolve around him.
" Hey, are you angry at me for what I sent to you? I mean the Hug and Kiss thing?" He said.
I looked at him, as my mind flashed back to his message to me on Facebook Yesternight. He asked which one I preferred between hug and kiss, from him.
'I am not angry, just worried that you might fall into the trap of same-sex attraction, I felt like yelling those words
"I am not angry at you. I was just worried about something.. Nevermind", I concluded.
" Oh, I thought you were upset," he replied.
"Just wondering, have you ever hugged someone before?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah, my mum especially, but I have never hugged anyone apart from my family and relatives ", I stated and he looked surprised.
" So you are not going to hug anyone?" he asked.
"I think a lot of hugs would be coming but I prefer handshakes. Hugs go a long way for me, but maybe I can hug anybody", I said.
" So you are not going to hug or perhaps give me a kiss", he stated drawing the last part of his words, more like mumbling.
With a complicated expression, I faced him.
"I would prefer to hug you but the k part might be the end of our friendship", I stated giving him a frown.
" Ok, then it is settled. I won't like our friendship to be ruined. I can't wait to hug you later today", he whispered gently before taking his leave.
I heaved a sigh of relief but felt stupid for being locked again by his charm. I should have just said no or told him to keep his distance. But coming to think about it, any guy will not think too much about the hug stuff.
The Data practical was an interesting part of my examination, which dealt with representing information in bar charts and pie charts.
After the Data Processing Practical which marked the successful end of the Senior Secondary School 3(SSS3), we all went to say another thank you to our teachers appreciating them for their help and teachings during our stay in the school. They, in turn, wish us a good life and greater heights.
That day, we left the school as early as 3 pm compared to the 4 pm school closes. We were so happy that we kept congratulating each other with handshakes and hugs on our way home. We kept moving slowly, reminiscing about the interesting moments we shared while in Beatitude College.
All this while, I kept smiling, a strong feeling wanting to overwhelm me. I was a few feet away from Ethan when a thought came to my mind.
I walked closer to him, landing my whole body at his back, my hands stretching forward over his shoulders as I gave him a back hug. He stopped and when he looked and saw that it was me, he smiled.
"I will miss you bro" he replied as I removed my hands lifting my body from him.
He faced me and gave me a hug, which I warmly reciprocated.
"I hope to see you soon, my hero", he said and I smiled. As much as I found his words reassuring, my stomach feels empty. This might be one of the best moments in my high school year," I reassured myself, breathing gently
.