Dressed in a purple shirt, black trousers, and waistcoat, a set of shoes, and black frame glasses to match, I could not help but hurry to put on my graduation gown. I can't believe I was late for my graduation party.
Ensuring my look in the purple graduation gown, I took a stride to the side of the big hall meant for the outgoing students, that is, SSS3 students, as I found a seat beside Gloria.
"You are late", Gloria commented, looking a bit angry.
" Well, I kinda slept late due to too much anxiety, and probably over-excitement", I whispered enunciating each word as she chuckled.
" You are pardoned. You look good in your dress", she commended, as I smiled.
"Thanks. I like your hairstyle", I complimented as she blushed lightly, nudging my arms.
" You are weird" she replied and we both shared a laugh.
I briefly greeted some of my classmates who were close to the side I was sitting. I waved at Joshua who smiled in return. I must confess, everyone looks super cute.
Resting on the chair, and listening to the soft tune music from the school choir, my eyes gazed at Ethan, who had his back against me. I took a glance at him, as I felt my body warm. I missed him.
My mind flashed back to yesterday, as I remembered how I could not sleep on time. The truth is, my mind is clouded by him, his smiles, his walking posture, everything about him. Even when I tried to think of something else yesterday night to sleep, my mind was diverting to that fantasy lane.
Ethan and I have not chatted much since three days ago after our WAEC result was released. I was happy with my result since I had a good result. Ethan's result too was good. The last time we chatted on Facebook, he chatted less, as he kept zoning in and out of Facebook.
I continued staring at him, as he turned his neck sideways, making me notice a gold chain around his neck. I tried not to think too much about the chain around his neck, as I enjoyed each part of the occasion. He is probably keeping up with his bad boy attitude', I thought
From the cultural dance to the debate, speech, drama, and a lot. I reminisced over the moments I have spent in this wonderful school. A tear slipped down my face, as I felt a mixed emotion, both happy and sad ones at that.
The graduation party continued, as I looked intently at the events and briefly listened to Gloria. I raised my head, as I saw Ethan walking to my side.
"Long time my hero. Don't you want to greet me?", he asked as his right palm made contact with my face.
I felt chills down my body at the slight contact with my face. My body tensed a little as I fake a frown.
" Can we just end this last day in school without any disagreement?" I whispered back.
"Ok. I'm sorry for not greeting you. I had a lot on my mind", he replied.
I tried to relax as we talked for some time before he left for his seat. The cool music kept blaring, as I moved my body a bit to the music, not too obvious tho.
The graduation day came to an end on a successful note. Not only did I feel happy because I am finally through with high school, but I was a little bit uneasy about my second feeling. I am having my sixth attraction on Ethan and every day, it seems like a burden to me. I wish I could open up to someone but who is the right person?
My voice, facial look, movement of the hand, legs all depict my feminine nature. I feel perturbed that if I am not careful enough, I might get others into a web of 'same-sex attraction'.
While going home with my classmates on my graduation day, I looked at them all, taking note of their surnames and other names. I will surely miss them, Joshua, Gloria, Ethan, Quadri, Paul, just to mention a few. I will miss them.
*************
Two weeks have gone by after my graduation party, and communicating with Ethan has been on my priority list. I will send messages on his Facebook either in the form of greeting or teasing. Things almost got complicated when I nearly confessed my feelings to him. I had to divert his attention by stating that some girls in the class admired him.
My heart almost throbs out of its place when I realize how I almost confessed to him. My body beams with disturbances, emotions, and feelings that seem unstoppable. As much as I tried to get over my feelings toward Ethan, it did not work, as I kept getting deeply attracted to him.
My imaginations keep surrounding him that I sometimes felt hopeless in getting over my blooming feelings for him. The thought of wishing the attraction I had for him was reciprocated sometimes kept knocking on my mind.
I tried to remove this unwholesome thought because I knew my mind was just playing fantasy tricks on me. Without much ado, I concluded to confess my feelings to Ethan.
I knew this might be a bad idea, or maybe it is but I do not want to think much into it. I believe if I confess to him, I would feel better, relieved of carrying this feeling. Maybe he might comfort me or I could even discover whether he was attracted to me. This feeling of mine seems overwhelming, cutting into the deeper part of myself.
I sometimes feel foolish for developing this weird feeling especially in a society where it is tagged a taboo. Even though I prayed to God about my feelings, I still felt the need to talk to someone about it. Someone who would not blame or judge me for developing feelings toward the same sex.
*******
Friday evening came with calm weather, bright sunlight, and light wind which gave me goosebumps. I have decided to confess my feelings to Ethan. I had informed him earlier about coming to his house, which is a few minutes' trek from my dad's Pharmacy. Ethan stated he would be at home, and also informed me that he was always home alone, till nighttime.
Each step I took came with nervousness, as I found myself in front of his house. He welcomed me and pulled me into a hug, expressing how he had missed me. After shutting the gate, he held my hands as we both entered the sitting room.
We both sat on a three-seater chair with a few inches between us. His gaze fell on my face, leaving me mesmerized by his handsome look, as my face reddened. His warm body made contact with my body as he held my hands sending shivers down my body. I looked at him lost as his eyes made their way to my lips.
" I like you", he confessed, which does not bring a surprise but a giddy feeling in my tummy.
"I like you too", I replied.
He shook his head, his hands firmly but softly on my palms, his eyes on my lips. I tried to move back due to the effects he was having on me but felt fragile even at his slightest touch. He held my hand as he slowly leaned forward, sending my body quivering. I found myself frozen in the same position as he did the unexpected. His lips crashed into mine.