“No Robin!” I heard a sharp cry and someone embraced me from behind and then was a sob. “Don’t kill yourself, Robin.” I recognized Ivana’s voice.
“Ivana…”
“I won’t let you kill yourself, Robin.” She cut me off in tears, her hand clutched me so tight that I felt so uncomfortable in my stomach. “Please don’t jump.” She kept on repeating the same words.
It took me time to figure out what she meant. “What?” I held her hands and pulled them away from me as I turned to look at her face that was filled with tears.
“Please don’t kill yourself, Robin, I am sorry for taking my eyes off you.” Ivana hugged me again. “Please don’t die.” She was sobbing uncontrollably so I pulled her away. I hate ladies that cry but I know she must have misunderstood.
“What are you saying now?” I raised my brows at her and she looked up at my face as more tears rolled down her cheek.
“You want to kill yourself.” She pointed at where I stood. “You were about to jump off the roof.” Ivana’s voice was hoarse again as she squeaked.
“Ah…” I looked back to where I had stood and then at her. “Are you crying because you thought I want to kill myself?” I raised my brows at her since this was what I understood so far in all the words she had said.
“Thought?” Her eyes flickered as she gazed at me. “Weren’t you about to kill yourself, I saw you trying to jump off the roof just now.” She pointed and I made a little chuckle.
“What? Have you suddenly changed from watching romantic movies to horror movies?” I scoffed since I couldn’t believe she would think I would do that. “Why would I want to kill myself?” I couldn’t help but ask her.
Her brows creased and then they relaxed as I could see she was confused. “But…” She looked over at the rail. “Just now… You…were…” she spluttered.
“I love my life so much, Ivana, even if I hate other people, I treasure my life to take it that way.” I shook my head at her and walked close to the rail as I reached for my necklace that had fallen close to the rail when I was staring down at it.
I turned to Ivana whose eyes were still wet with tears and lifted it to her. “I was close to the rail to take this, not to kill myself so get those nasty thoughts off your head.” I walked to a bench there and sat down.
I looked up at Ivana who was still standing there without moving, she turned her back at me, perhaps embarrassed by her sudden act.
“Come and have a seat,” I told her and she glanced at me as I pat the bench I was sitting on but she hesitated. “Come on.” I flashed a smile.
“Don’t ever scare me like that!” Ivana finally barked out as she wiped off her tears with the back of her hand. I thought she would angrily walk away but she came close to the bench and sat beside me.
I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, she was not looking at me, I guess she was mad at me, but deep down I was in love, I was grateful that she rushed over and embraced me, I could hear her desperate voice when she said I shouldn’t die, she was so sincere about it.
“Stop staring at me.” She looked at me and I looked away immediately, I didn’t know I was no longer looking at her from the corner of my eyes but I was actually staring.
“What is that necklace?” She pointed at the necklace on my hand and l looked down at it. “Why did you want to take it so desperately when it almost fell, what if you had slipped and ended up falling over?” Ivana rasped.
I looked at the necklace with longing in my eyes as I spoke softly. “My mother gave it to me.” I didn’t look at Ivana but I felt her stare.
I can still remember when my mother gave this to me, it was when I was at the airport when I was a kid. I can remember the words she told me when she wore this necklace around my neck. I could still remember her sincere eyes that were filled with emotions when she said those words to me.
“Have this, think of the mother who loves you whenever you look at this, wear it and I will always be close to you.”
“I love you so much son and I will wait until you come back to me.”
I smiled softly as I looked at Ivana. “She gave this to me when I was a kid, she told me to always think of a mother who loves me whenever I look at this necklace.” I leaned back to the chair I sat in as I gave the necklace a long stare.
“It is funny since I clenched this necklace while I was in the States. I held it and always looked at it when I was sad and those words echoed in my mind always and it made my pained heart calm down a bit.” I turned to look at Ivana.
“I was here staring at it all day, I was staring at it to hear and remember those words she had said to me at the airport and compare it with what she told me yesterday at the balcony…” I shut my eyes and open them up again.
“I couldn’t remember all the words she told me yesterday, I could only remember the words she told me 14 years ago.” I look at the necklace. “I wanted to throw it away, but after much contemplation, I figured it all out.” I looked at Ivana and could tell she was curious to know what I figured out even if she doesn’t want to say a word.
“I figured out that my mother loves me,” I smiled as I exhaled sharply. “I know she is trying to get me to hate her since she did wrong to her sister and my father, but she is my mother and I can’t hate her, I love her so much and I know that deep down she loves me too.”
I looked down at the necklace on my hand. “I won’t throw this away, I will keep it with me forever.” I wore the necklace and as I turned to look at Ivana she kissed my lips taking me by surprise as he leaned back and I had to blink to come back to my senses since I couldn’t tell why she did that so suddenly.
“Why?” I finally spoke up when I had recovered from the shock.
“What? Can’t I kiss the man I love?” Ivana stood up to leave but I held her hands and stood up too. “Let go of me. I am still angry with you.” She tried to pull her hands away from mine but I pulled her into a hug instead.
“I won’t let you cry anymore,” I told her softly. “I won’t let you shed a drop of tears because of me ever again, so I hope you will be patient with me until I can love you as much as you deserve to be loved,” I said softly.
I closed my eyes as I held her closer to me. Ivana had warmed my heart a lot. I know she couldn’t teach me how to love but at least she had said something like that and I could tell she has a warm heart.
She pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes. “I will wait, I am not going away.” She shook her head. “I will wait as long as you want me to.” My eyes flickered down her lips that were curled up in a smile.
I cupped her face with my hands as I gazed into her eyes. “I won’t let you wait for so long.” I leaned close to her lips and kissed her as we both closed our eyes, blocking every sound around us with only the sound of our heart beating in harmony.